Happy 8 Year Anniversary!

Holy crap.

I just got a notification from WordPress congratulating me on 8 years of writing on this blog.

8 years I’ve spent writing about books I’ve loved or hated, personal stories of triumph or failure, love and loss, book hunting, Keep Moving Forwards, True Story Tuesdays, or To Say a Little Words.

8 years of my life.

An inconsistent 8 years of writing on here, but still! That’s bananas.

So thank you all who have stuck with me, who have appreciated the posts, who have reached out to tell me how hilarious I am. I have a small fanbase, but I still appreciate it and am so grateful.

Here’s to you all! For putting up with my nonsense, my wisdom, my lies about when I’ll be posting, my long stretches of going MIA, and the grappling I do with books on a daily basis.

Here’s to books! Without them I would’ve beheaded someone a long time ago.

Constant vigilance!

The Long Hard Road Out of Hell–Marilyn Manson

“What the fuck did I get myself into?”

This is the thought that came up the most when I read this book. 

Look, I know who Marilyn Manson is. I’ve heard some of his music, I’ve read stories about what the fuck he gets into. I know he has beef with Justin Beiber about some t-shirts. 

I don’t know why I know that but I do. 

I know he was married to Dita Von Teese (who I adore.), dated Rose McGowan, and that he’s in general a pretty fucking weird guy. 

I didn’t realize how gross he was. 

This book was traumatizing in its brilliance, but also just gross because of gross things he did. He would scare me every other page with a startling pictures. Which I’m betting was the point. This guy is smart as hell and clever as a whip. And yes, for a while he was using his powers for evil and not good. But he took a long journey back to us (I’m sure he would resent that statement. Because who is “us”? The human race?)  and he’s finally becoming a human being. 

I think.

I don’t know.

This book was super messed up. His stories of his golden ages were really fucked up. As one would expect. 

And then he would hit you with a story of how it hurts that people would harm themselves or others in his name. And you’re like ‘You poor soul, let me hold you.”. 

Really think about it before you read this book. I didn’t . And I’m both worse and better for it.

It was intelligently thought out and executed in it’s contrasting unnerving you and making you love him at the same time.  

Constant vigilance.

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I, Bificus–Bif Naked

Oh Biffy. 

What has happened to you. 

All the things. All the good and all the bad. And all the in-between things. 

I’ve loved Bif since I was teeny little preteen and so much of my early teens was filled with her music. And I’m so glad to finally read her words on the things that happened to her. 

And SOooooooOOooooo much happened to her. 

Fuck. 

Just read this. It’s so goddamn good that I have no words for how good it is. 

I’ve literally tried to write extra paragraphs about it but I honestly have zero words. Just a feeling about this book. Like I want to grab her close and squeeze her tight.

So many bad things happen to people (duh) and she got more dollops than I have that’s for sure. Which makes me always feel like that Lady Gaga song “Come to Mama”.

Come to Mama. Tell me who hurt ya .

Constant vigilance.

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This Savage Song–Victoria Schwab

Uuuuuuurgh. 

With joy. 

This book was soooooo fucking good. This was one of my OwlCrate books, and honestly, I’m so glad I got that box every month for awhile because it’s given me some of my favourite books. 

And this time it gave me a book series. Which was accidental. I didn’t realize (classic) that it was going to be a series and was like ‘Wait, what?!” at the end because it didn’t end where I thought it was going  to and left me wanting so much more. And then it was all “We’re a series!” and I’ve never been so happy since. (JK. JK. JK.)

But seriously over the moon about it being a series I can keep up with.  

A YA novel about humans and monsters co-existing in a sense. 

This was a beautiful tale of good and evil and how to fight the good fight while living in the grey area. 

It’s fucking Romeo and Juliet with monsters and it’s sooo fucking good. 

Talk about fan girl feels.

Scrappy Little Nobody–Anna Kendrick

Why is she the most adorable person to ever adorable? 

Just a really funny, well written autobiography about the kicky little life of one of our most favourite Hollywood actresses. 

Her stories were cute, and I really appreciated how honest she was about what it feels like to be an actress in the limelight. Like how all of sudden (because of Twilight) she was thrown into the light and everyone thought she was this rich actress because she was given dresses to wear to awards shows and how surreal it is to be in that type of situation and then have to go home to your tiny apartment that you share with your roommate and your cheap Ikea furniture and have to give all the jewels and the dress back the next day.

I really enjoy her awkwardness and honesty.

And her incessant joking about how Chris Pine is stalking her. 

I don’t feel the need to write a really long review, she can tell you all about her life in this funny book! 

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Death Comes to Pemberley–P.D. James

This is a decent “sequel” to Pride and Prejudice. 

Felt like it picked up right where we left off. And also kind of felt like Downton Abbey. 

I liked the writing, it was a more readable Jane Austen (I know, I know, what a shit thing to say, but we all know how it is to get through Jane Austen sometimes because of the language and time barrier. Yes. I know she wrote in English. Get a grip.) and the story was fun.

By this point in the story, Elizabeth and Darcy have been together for six years, they have some kids, and the Wickhams are back wreaking havoc. 

In that they found someone dead. 

It was a good mystery with beloved characters. 

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Cujo–Stephen King

Okay look Stephen King: You just fucking stop it. 

Why do I fucking read these books? Why do I seek out this terror? This book was so fucking stressful. 

And I’m going to spoil things, so you are warned. I have to spoil things because I need to channel this energy of rage this book gave me into a posting because I CAN’T BE ALONE WITH THESE FEELS.

Let me first tell you what I thought this book was about: 

A psychotic dog that eats people. Thought it was possessed or something. 

Here’s what the book is actually about: 

A sweetheart of a dog that gets poisoned when he chases a rabbit down into a cave that is full of sick bats. Rabies type virus ensues. 

Sweetheart dog starts to feel sick. We get to see into his thoughts as well (thanks a lot for THAT Stephen King.). We get to see it take him. Which is so fucking heartbreaking. Moreso than if that was happening to a human because dogs are little rays of light in an otherwise dark and stormy world.

How dare you come after a dog Stephen King!!! 

I’m going to be cursing him until the day I die. 

Anyway. There are a few players in this book that circle each other (and I DO forget their names so I’ll just describe them.) : 

One: Hapless husband who goes on business trip. Gets calls from wife nightly for updates on life. 

Two: Menacing Mechanic, owner of Cujo, altogether unsavoury asshat.

Three: Mechanics wife and son, who leave for a vacation with her sister. Son is the true owner/friend of Cujo. Kid is a sensitive sweetheart, wife wants out of her life. 

Four: Neighbour and only friend of menacing mechanic. 

Five: The cops. More or less useless. 

Six (and most important.): Hapless Husbands wife and four year old son. Wife needs car fixed, is sent to mechanic by husband. Car breaks down there. 

And hell fucking breaks loose. 

Now here’s how things went: Dog got sick. Dog turns slowly but surely. He eats mechanics friend. Then Mechanic goes to visit his friend because they are supposed to go fishing or something because the wife and kid went on vacation. Mechanic gets eaten at some point. 

Hapless husband forgets to check in with wife and son and after DAYS finally notices she hasn’t been calling either and calls the cops. 

Mechanics wife and kid are having a grand old time, although the kid just KNOWS something is wrong with Cujo even from afar.

Cut to: The hapless families wife and son are packing up snacks and whatnot for a small drive to the mechanics out of town just in case the car breaks down on the side of the road before they can even get to the farmhouse. 

And this is stressful for me because at the time I was looking after my four year old cousin and I couldn’t even fathom how a mother wouldn’t do EVERYTHING in her power to save her fucking kid.

The heat rose to excruciating heights. Kid is dehydrated, dog keeps attacking car, but is getting more and more vicious by the hour. They are both dying. Everyone is dying. The mom knows there’s a phone in the house, knows the dog is in the garage in the cold. She tries once to run for the phone…but the dog gets her leg, then she gets stuck back in the car.

Eventually all the things collide: someone at the police station finally believed the dad that his family was missing and they sent a cop to go look around. Cop sees note that the wife left saying where she was going. (A note she wrote for no one by the way. She just “had a feeling”.) 

Cop gets eaten. 

Wife and kid still. stuck. in. the. fucking. car. The kid is delirious. Like straight up heat stroke, had seizure, etc. 

Eventually the cops notice that their other cop didn’t come back. 

And everything explodes.

Hapless dad comes back before the cops get there, he finds the wife who (in her delirium and idiocy) goes for a bat instead of the cops rifle/radio, and is now beating the dog to death. 

Cops swarm, wife thinks husband saved her (which was annoying), and guess the fuck what. 

THE KID FUCKING DIES ANYWAY.

After all that. I fucking threw the book. 

How dare that end in the death of that sweet little four year old.

Fucking Stephen King. A plague on both your houses.

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