Whomp Whomp

So I’m busting through my reading list like there is no tomorrow, I’ve made it through Dean Koontz, J.R.R. Tolkien, Janet Evanovich, and a bunch of Jude Deverauxs. The next one on my list is a short (and looks like a sweet) book by Fern Michaels that I got from a library book sale.

I figured, what the hell, I’ll try other romance writers, I’m bound to run out of Jude books at some point in my life. Debbie Macomber is growing on me, so why not Fern Michaels?

I’ll tell you why not! This book was terrible! I only made it through 47 pages of it because (maybe because it was still close to the 90’s that she thought this was acceptable) she wrote the lead guy with a ponytail. *Pukes in garbage can* Now, I know I’m no writer extraordinaire, some of my posts are lackluster, some of the books I’ve written are so lackluster that they have been shelved forever forgotten in notebooks that are falling apart.

I know this about myself and I know that sometimes authors put out a few stinkers and have a ton more great books to read. (I’m not one for giving up on a writer. I love them too much.)

So the plot of this book (it’s called Listen to Your Heart, by the way, that should’ve been my first clue things were going to be cheesy) is that this woman and her twin sister take over their families catering company after their parents have died. Then one of them, I think it’s Josie, runs into this man with a ponytail, doesn’t know his name, just knows that his dog and her dog have fallen in love. Her dog is this little thing and his is a giant something or other, and when they start playing she threatens to pull a gun on the guy in order to get the dog away from her dog. What?! Really?!

Then after much thought (not) on how handsome this man is she looks him up in the phone book (after learning who he is from a magazine) and realizes that he lives around the corner from her. She gets drunk, dresses slutty, and then takes her dog for a “walk” in a wagon.

Now you can understand why I put this down, right? It’s unrealistic. If a girl I knew ever acted this way I would punch her in the throat.

Jude would never let this happen! That’s all I’m saying!

That was my book misadventure this week. I switched over to a J.M. Barrie play just to wash my brain of that nonsense.

Constant vigilance.