Valentine’s Horror

What’s this?! You don’t have the love of your life running around getting you flowers and candy and an extremely thoughtful gift that you didn’t even know that you wanted until they handed it to you?! OH. MY. GIDEONS. THE HORROR!!!!

Well. I’m here to save the day little ducks. Being a perpetually single girl for the last twenty odd years and spending the first ten of that a boohoo festival that I didn’t have a boyfriend to love and shower me with presents, I’ve come up with some coping mechanisms that have just become who I am. (Because honestly, I’m fantastic and if boys don’t see that, well, their loss babe! It would probably also help if you are an introvert and actually like being in a room by yourself…if not, then I can’t help you. I’m not Oprah.)

Anyway, here they are, a la my insane brain:

1)Fictional boyfriends replace real people.

2)That was actually it. That’s how I deal with my lack of real boyfriends.

3)Okay, sometimes I eat my feelings…

Well…that was sad. But only if you aren’t completely deranged like I am. (ooooo using my own title in my post, that never happens!) Anyway, how about a list of my fictional boyfriends that will usher your through your singledom/Valentines day in general even if you have a boyfriend. (Who knows, he could be a real disappointment and you need some Mr. Darcy.)

Fictional Boyfriends:

1)Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) [Every girls dream/nightmare rolled into one.]

2)Gerry (P.S. I Love You.) [Okay, don’t read this today. Nobody needs to be traumatized like this today. But he’s a dreamboat so I added him.]

3)Every man from a Jude Deveraux book ever written. (See Love Stories for my suggestions)

4)The Weasley boys. (That’s right! If you don’t want to read an ooey gooey romance today than I [as always] suggest Harry Potter to see all different kinds of love so that you realize you are not alone. Family, friends, bromances, etc.)

5)Clay. (Women of the Otherworld series [Oh Clay. Dreamboat Level 100. He’s gruff and manly. Who could ask for more?]

So, if those boys don’t help and you are still stumped as to what you should read and are still in a depressing state of sad sackery, than I suggest watching a movie or television.

And for that I say: Supernatural and Firefly. A little Dean, Sam, and Castiel always perk me right up! And the good ol’ Capt.

As for me, I’ll be spending my Valentines with some very special people close to my heart: My Nonno and Nonna, my little cousins, and my girls from college. (Who funnily DO have boyfriends they are serious with and are okay with postponing Valentines Day.) That’s what I call True Love.

Constant vigilance.

(Ps. Don’t you even remotely think of touching anything relating to Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey. I will find you and destroy them.)

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