Bared to You–Sylvia Day

Nerdy nerdy dirty birdies!

This book is fiiiiiiiilthy! It’s dirty! It’s nasty! It’s too dirty to clean its act up.

Yeah. I just Christina Aguilera circa 2002’d you.

Anyway, for all my dirty birds out there who are looking for something that’s actually literate while being sexy at the same time, this is the book for you! Cost me 50 cents and I don’t even mind that the lady at the thrift store rung me through and looked at the cover.

This book was well written and had well developed characters, so much so that you were actually interested in what happened to them and were rooting for their love story and at the same time were fanning yourself while they violently humped everywhere. Okay, they weren’t violently humping. Not like (earmuffs if you are sick of hearing this book title like I am) Fifty Shades of Grey where there were subs and doms and hitting and spanking and being tied up and gagged and all manners of sexy times BUT the actual story was lost and the characters were wangs. (Haha…wangs. Erotica. I’m a child. Apologies.)

Characters: Gideon Cross, President/Founder/CEO or something of Crossfire something or other. (Give me a break, it’s been like seven books since I read this one.)

And leading lady: Eva…something. Jeez, I need a brain doctor. Neurologist. Yikes.

Anywho…these two meet, sparks, he tells her he wants to hump her, and instead of being like WHOA HOTTY WITH THE BODY! She tells him he’s a creep and to get the ever loving hell away from her.

   Eventually he sees reason and calms down the explicit language and woos her. These characters are actually funny and seem real. Even though they’ve been through traumas in their lives you can actually relate to them and you are hoping they get better and love better and care about what happens to them. Which is what I was really missing in Fifty Shades of Plague.

Now THAT would be a cool book.

I’m rambling. If you want to get hot and bothered without the whips and chains and now Rihanna song stuck in your head, read this book. Where Fifty Shades of *pukes down front* was barely tolerable OR readable, this is.

Thrift Store Saga

Today I worked a whopping 8 1/2 hours. I don’t think I’ve worked 8 full hours since I was at the country club. (That was three years ago.) Jeez. Really lacking in work ethic with my jobs…weird.

Anyway, so naturally, being there for so long, I saw some really bizarre stuff.

It started with a couple fighting about buying ‘The Life of Pi’, the girl claiming that Martel TELLS you his own book will make you believe in God. Sure, a little presumptuous of him, but really, it’s a good book and who knows, maybe he was joking and someone took him seriously. This girl took him WAY too seriously because she tried to “cockblock” the sale. (Her words.) Then she wanted her friend or boyfriend (poor guy) to get a bag to hide the book so she wouldn’t be seen with it. He apologized profusely for her behaviour and walked out of the store with the book clutched to his chest with the title facing outward.

Good on you, a constant vigilance march if I’ve ever seen one.

Then some guy came in with a van load of stuff, from shelves, to a dresser, to a bag of fabric, but the weirdest thing he brought in was a thermos. Now, granted, that doesn’t sound very weird. But the thermos was stuffed with candy. It took me five minutes to get it all out! And then I had to throw it out because you don’t eat candy from strangers. Except on Halloween.

I also had to organize all the bookshelves so that all the books weren’t lumped together in ‘Fiction’ because someone brought in roughly 30 encyclopedias.

AND some random guy, who spent forty minutes with his friend in the men section messing up all the electronics bought some wires and then told me he liked my octopus, grinned and left. Before you think that was dirty, I was wearing a shirt with an octopus on it. But…also the octopus was on my boobs, so maybe it WAS meant to be dirty.

Who knows. Either way, I’m tired and probably smell sixteen different shades of thrift.

Murder at the Vicarage–Agatha Christie

My first Agatha Christie! This book selection is brought to you by…guess: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun whoooooeeeeoooooooooooo.

That was supposed to be the musical intro to Doctor Who, but I failed at it.

Weeeell, not really. Weeeelll, I could quote Doctor Who all day. But I will stop and tell you just one thing about this book: it was fantastic! (Gotcha.)

      It’s quite obviously about a murder that happened inside of a vicarage. It’s also my first Miss Marple book, and I was kind of confused at first because I thought that Miss Marple was a young lady. Turns out, not so much. She’s an old lady who could basically be 007 in that she has amazing spy qualities and she could also be Sherlock Holmes since she has some serious deductive reasoning chops. What I thought was really weird about this though, was that she wasn’t the main character…

The main character was the vicar and he was trying to figure out who killed Colonel Protheroe, the town d-bag that everyone hated. Miss Marple just kind of pops up every once in awhile and talks things out with the vicar.

     Odd, but interesting! I like when books that aren’t what I thought turn out to be great anyway. Looking forward to many more books by her.

…I didn’t tell you why the Doctor is sponsoring this post did I? For all my non-Whovians, he met her (Agatha Christie) and helped her solve a murder. Or she helped him. Or Donna just yelled a lot and they stared at her…