Bared to You–Sylvia Day

Nerdy nerdy dirty birdies!

This book is fiiiiiiiilthy! It’s dirty! It’s nasty! It’s too dirty to clean its act up.

Yeah. I just Christina Aguilera circa 2002’d you.

Anyway, for all my dirty birds out there who are looking for something that’s actually literate while being sexy at the same time, this is the book for you! Cost me 50 cents and I don’t even mind that the lady at the thrift store rung me through and looked at the cover.

This book was well written and had well developed characters, so much so that you were actually interested in what happened to them and were rooting for their love story and at the same time were fanning yourself while they violently humped everywhere. Okay, they weren’t violently humping. Not like (earmuffs if you are sick of hearing this book title like I am) Fifty Shades of Grey where there were subs and doms and hitting and spanking and being tied up and gagged and all manners of sexy times BUT the actual story was lost and the characters were wangs. (Haha…wangs. Erotica. I’m a child. Apologies.)

Characters: Gideon Cross, President/Founder/CEO or something of Crossfire something or other. (Give me a break, it’s been like seven books since I read this one.)

And leading lady: Eva…something. Jeez, I need a brain doctor. Neurologist. Yikes.

Anywho…these two meet, sparks, he tells her he wants to hump her, and instead of being like WHOA HOTTY WITH THE BODY! She tells him he’s a creep and to get the ever loving hell away from her.

   Eventually he sees reason and calms down the explicit language and woos her. These characters are actually funny and seem real. Even though they’ve been through traumas in their lives you can actually relate to them and you are hoping they get better and love better and care about what happens to them. Which is what I was really missing in Fifty Shades of Plague.

Now THAT would be a cool book.

I’m rambling. If you want to get hot and bothered without the whips and chains and now Rihanna song stuck in your head, read this book. Where Fifty Shades of *pukes down front* was barely tolerable OR readable, this is.

Thrift Store Saga

Today I worked a whopping 8 1/2 hours. I don’t think I’ve worked 8 full hours since I was at the country club. (That was three years ago.) Jeez. Really lacking in work ethic with my jobs…weird.

Anyway, so naturally, being there for so long, I saw some really bizarre stuff.

It started with a couple fighting about buying ‘The Life of Pi’, the girl claiming that Martel TELLS you his own book will make you believe in God. Sure, a little presumptuous of him, but really, it’s a good book and who knows, maybe he was joking and someone took him seriously. This girl took him WAY too seriously because she tried to “cockblock” the sale. (Her words.) Then she wanted her friend or boyfriend (poor guy) to get a bag to hide the book so she wouldn’t be seen with it. He apologized profusely for her behaviour and walked out of the store with the book clutched to his chest with the title facing outward.

Good on you, a constant vigilance march if I’ve ever seen one.

Then some guy came in with a van load of stuff, from shelves, to a dresser, to a bag of fabric, but the weirdest thing he brought in was a thermos. Now, granted, that doesn’t sound very weird. But the thermos was stuffed with candy. It took me five minutes to get it all out! And then I had to throw it out because you don’t eat candy from strangers. Except on Halloween.

I also had to organize all the bookshelves so that all the books weren’t lumped together in ‘Fiction’ because someone brought in roughly 30 encyclopedias.

AND some random guy, who spent forty minutes with his friend in the men section messing up all the electronics bought some wires and then told me he liked my octopus, grinned and left. Before you think that was dirty, I was wearing a shirt with an octopus on it. But…also the octopus was on my boobs, so maybe it WAS meant to be dirty.

Who knows. Either way, I’m tired and probably smell sixteen different shades of thrift.

Murder at the Vicarage–Agatha Christie

My first Agatha Christie! This book selection is brought to you by…guess: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun whoooooeeeeoooooooooooo.

That was supposed to be the musical intro to Doctor Who, but I failed at it.

Weeeell, not really. Weeeelll, I could quote Doctor Who all day. But I will stop and tell you just one thing about this book: it was fantastic! (Gotcha.)

      It’s quite obviously about a murder that happened inside of a vicarage. It’s also my first Miss Marple book, and I was kind of confused at first because I thought that Miss Marple was a young lady. Turns out, not so much. She’s an old lady who could basically be 007 in that she has amazing spy qualities and she could also be Sherlock Holmes since she has some serious deductive reasoning chops. What I thought was really weird about this though, was that she wasn’t the main character…

The main character was the vicar and he was trying to figure out who killed Colonel Protheroe, the town d-bag that everyone hated. Miss Marple just kind of pops up every once in awhile and talks things out with the vicar.

     Odd, but interesting! I like when books that aren’t what I thought turn out to be great anyway. Looking forward to many more books by her.

…I didn’t tell you why the Doctor is sponsoring this post did I? For all my non-Whovians, he met her (Agatha Christie) and helped her solve a murder. Or she helped him. Or Donna just yelled a lot and they stared at her…

Allons-y!

Thrift Store Saga

I don’t work today but I thought that I would give you a little glimpse of what I’m talking about when I say that I love my new job. Not only are my co-workers fantastic, but the customers are pretty great too.

First off, my co-workers are all what you would assume a typical Vancouverite is. And absolutely not in a bad way. It was total kismet when I went into the store and found them and now they are all busy finding me. (Sounds weird, let me explain.) My boss lady is into meditation and chakras and all that jazz, and I get to talk to her about my new class where I’m learning to act some and get in touch with my chakras. This lady must be psychic too because she keeps asking me questions about personal things that are most definitely blocking said chakras.

The most amazing thing that I find about her though is that she’s not just there trying to sell the wares that come into the store, she genuinely believes that people are in there for a reason and wants to help them find what they need. I think they were all drawn in to be helped by her. I swear this place is magic in that lost and damaged little birds find their way in and she helps them let out and let go of what is hurting them.

I’ve only worked there  a few days and I can see that she is made for much more than running a thrift store and that somehow it’s a place of healing and beauty. In the time I’ve been there I’ve seen about three people cry on her shoulder already and she soothes them.

I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into, but I figure that this is where I’m suppose to be and it’ll be a great healing and growth experience for me.

Plus Alfred came in again and played the harmonica for us and nearly brought us all to tears. And he called for his wife to come and dance. I love it.

Knock Wood–Candice Bergen

Quite obviously I needed a Stephanie Plum break. Reading four books in a row was probably a bad idea, but I was in no mood for something other than hilarity.

   Luckily, I’ve snapped out of it and can resume my love of other books. You’ve seen my Book Hunting pictures, and some excerpts from this book before. This book was the FIRST of my ‘winner winner chicken dinner’s’ books. The FIRST book that I found that started my book-hunting craze.

And it was 25 goddamn cents.

Can you even believe it?! I can’t. This book was phenomenal. Worth way more than 25 cents and it changed my life.

You wouldn’t think that of a Hollywood autobiography, but it’s pretty obvious that she wrote this herself. This is before all the would-be autobiographies where people have someone co-write it. Call a spade a spade people and just let the other person write your book for you. You wangs.

Anyway, I’ve been a big admirer of Candice Bergen my entire life, ever since I saw her in Murphy Brown when I was a kid and became addicted to her sharp wit and ambition. Murphy Brown’s attitude makes up most of my personality. (At least in my mind.) So, when I stumbled across this book I was over the moon, but nothing compares to how I feel AFTER I finished it.

She has lived such an amazing life, from being the sister to a ventriloquists dummy (her dads) to riding trains in Walt Disney’s back yard, to being so close to death at the hands of Charles Mansons gang, and so many other things that I’m just too astounded to even articulate.

      If you are a girl in your mid-twenties, this book is for you, especially if you aren’t on the path of getting married and making babies. She made me feel so happy about my life and where I am going that for a blissful week and a half I forgot that everyone in my life is doing that and I’m battling the feelings of being left behind.

It was like she was writing it especially for me and it was so beautiful.

Constant vigilance paid off this time.