Weird Vancity

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about my days in Vancouver. Admittedly, weird things happen to me on a daily basis, I’m just that kind of person. But for some reason, today was exceptionally weird and I thought that I would share it with everyone.

My day starts off with getting ready to go to a tattoo consultation (getting the old girl reworked, very excited about it) I put on a Johnny Depp t-shirt and then in a flash of honesty decide that I can’t wear a Crybaby t-shirt when I haven’t even watched the movie. Which leads me to dress like a Disney princess. Yellow 1950’s-esque dress, sparkle shoes, and mint belt, long blonde hair flowing down my back and my navy blue purse with birds on it. If you saw me today you would’ve been like ‘What in the heck? Where did this girl come from?’ your next immediate thought would be ‘Must be a portal from another ‘verse.’ (For non-Firefly nerds [who btw shouldn’t exist in any ‘verse] ‘verse is universe.)

Dressing in such a sweet way I was glad to turn heads. Validates my suspicions that I’m a super awesome person and blows smoke right up my vanity.

On the complete opposite end of that thought though, I would rather NOT be openly gaped at by a teenage boy for 35 minutes on the bus. Why couldn’t he have been like the man beside me who kept sneaking looks? This led me to happily oblige him in a staring match in which he demurely swiveled his eyes out the window. HA! I win! Win what, I don’t know. But it made me feel better that I made him stop staring by counter staring. Alpha dog.

Then the tattoo consult was amazing, even though I’m going to have to wait a million years to get it done. But I always love to meet fellow Lord of the Rings nerds to which my tattoo artist is. (Exclaimed happily ‘Is this elvish?!’ while looking over the writing on my ankle. If I was a touchy-feely person I would’ve hugged her just from having action figures of Legolas and Aragorn in her station. But I’m shy and awkward and mumbled Yes it is.)

After that it was another two bus rides of weirdom. I had to catch a lady who didn’t understand holding onto the rails. (She happily giggled at her play acting of being on a pirate ship…that’s at least what I was imagining as she’s stumbling around everywhere.) Finally I find an empty seat next to a man who looks like the brother of the murderer from Ghost. My brain decides that if someone saw us together they would assume that HE was a serial killer. And now I’m planning on a vicious novel where a sweet Disney princess looking girl is in fact a vindictive cold blooded killer. And no. She will NOT be an angel of death, poisoner, or husband killer. Nothing typical about what I’m going to write. (Hopefully)

The rest of my day was spent with a tiny Bolivian baby staring at me (which I much preferred to the Asian teen.) and then reading texts over the shoulder of a tiny Asian girl who thought it was ‘super awkz’ that some guy was on the same bus as her. “Awkz awkz awkz’ to be exact. And she ‘never liked him as a person’. I’m nosy like that. I’ve also decided to invest in a bunch of dictionaries and start handing them out to people who write like that.

I’ve never been more grateful to grow up in the 80’s and 90’s.

And the cherry on this bizarre day, walking home from the bus stop and I happen to look over and see a homeless man with his cart of goodies. I’m always curious as to what they have in their carts, what they think is worth saving. Well…this man had a treasure all right.

What did he think worth saving? Ten pictures carefully cut out from magazines of Jennifer Aniston. *pukes down front at the implications of said pictures being there*

The whole city smells of homeless and sweat. I had to have a second shower today because I stunk when I got home from OTHER peoples sweat and stink.

On the plus side. I found my favourite sparkle shoes in Payless. Weird day was worth it.

 

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