Secret Chakra Names

Last week was the last of my beloved chakra classes (which explains why today I’m so grumpy since I didn’t get that weekly dance marathon like I’m use to. AND why yesterday I had this unexplained urge to exercise…) and since I’m such a self centered dweeb, instead of giving you a normal ‘To Say a Little Word…” from someone in a book I thought I would tell you a little story.

It’s called: “What I’ve secretly been calling the chakras”. A little wordy, but it makes me laugh so it’s worth it. At least to me. Maybe like, three other people. Ah well, enjoy.

What I’ve secretly been calling the Chakras:


First Chakra: The Root, located at the base of your spine. Connected to our sense of security in the world, survival, self-esteem, shelter and food. Element: Earth

What I call it: The Boom Boom.

Why: We had to ground ourselves and the imagery we used was mountains. I felt like in Hercules when the Titans are walking towards Olympus. Plus it’s located in your downstairs area. Your taint. It’s located near your taint. There I said it!

Second Chakra: Sacral, located in the curve of the sacrum. Connected to sexuality, sensuality, procreation, passion, emotion, pleasure and creativity. Element: Water

What I call it: The Waterbead

Why: We did this exercise where we had to make everything sound like a sexual innuendo in the poem that we had memorized. Waterbead was the absolute sexiest/sensual word that came out of my mouth and I didn’t stop laughing for a good ten minutes. Or blushing.

Third Chakra: Solar plexus, located in the upper stomach area just below the ribs. Connected to sense of personal power/ego. Where our energy comes from when we compete, protect, control, transform, and make choices. Element: Fire

What I call it: The Guts, or The Moon.

Why: Gut instincts. Pretty obvious there. The Moon because Missy had told us this story about someone who was suppose to be showing you the moon, telling you about its beauty, but it was stilted because the actress was showing you her showing you the moon instead of just the moon.

Fourth Chakra: Heart, located in the area of your heart. Connected to unconditional love, self love, compassion, acceptance, joy, unity with all living things. Center of the system, integrating body and mind. Element: Air.

What I call it: Super Bass

Why: Can’t you hear that boom ba doom boom boom ba doom boom bass? He got that super bass.

Fifth Chakra: Throat, bridge chakra that allows us to receive nurturance and permits us to express our deepest truths. Connected to creative energy, communication, and self-expression. Element: Sound

What I call it: The Sea Witch.

Why: For many years I’ve spoken quietly. My voice cuts in and out “randomly” and I basically lose my voice at the end of each day. Much like Ariel is cursed by Ursula.

Sixth Chakra: Brow, located just above and between your eyebrows. Connected to intuition, deep wisdom, clarity, the archetypes and spirituality. Element: Light.

What I call it: Cyclops.

Why: Because basically we were shooting lasers from our eyes.

Seventh Chakra: Crown, located just above the top of your head. Connection/gateway to the spirit world, consciousness and our life purpose. Here we feel and know that we are one with all that is, was, and will be. Element: Thought

What I call it: The Holy Ghost

Why: We did an exercise called Here, Near, Far. I think that’s what it was called…I was calling it The Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost. It was to express our poems, whether in full sentences or individual words and we had to decide what they meant to us and how close they were to us. Whether they were inside of us, just outside of us, or so far beyond us that they were practically untouchable. Hence The Holy Ghost.

Love and light and constant vigilance humanoids.


12 thoughts on “Secret Chakra Names

      1. He’s on my list of those to kidnap. But in a fun way. Not like in a Silence of the lambs way…so it’d really be more of a happy jaunt/frolic. Which I’m 100% sure he would love to do.

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