Thrift Store Saga

Today was an odd duck of a day.

I officially believe in curses and bad luck. And actually being able to feel the negative energy coming off of a person.

The reason I believe all of is because of three things that happened today:

1)I met a guy that people literally walked away from after they were in his general vicinity. The guy was such a ball of negative energy that every single person that came in contact with him walked right out of the store. I do not possess the kind of magical powers that my boss lady does in order to ferret out what was his deal and try to pull him away from it. So a bunch of people walked out of the store without buying anything because of it. Worst.

2)I was shanked by a mirror. I’ve decided that I’m no longer allowed near mirrors since last month I broke one just by holding it. While I was playing with a baby. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt. This time however I was just walking and sliced my leg on it but didn’t even notice that I had really hurt myself until I was walking around and my hand was wet and I was like What the hell?! Where did this blood come from?!… oh. My leg. Because I’m a jackass. Thank God I didn’t run into the mannequin with the wedding dress on like I’m prone to do. Fool.

3)That mirror is cursed. Or I am. Because when I was carrying it out to price and put away I stubbed my toe on something metal.

Oh, and to top it all off somehow I’m the only person in the store that manages to find porn in the donation boxes. (Ironic, no?) I’ve found nearly five pieces of pornography in different donation piles over the span of the two months I’ve worked there. Not to mention this giant painting of some naked dude on a swing. I don’t know what it is about me, but I think God really enjoys his pervy pranks on me.

After all that some kid and his family come into the store and he manages to find a nerf shotgun that he begs his mother for (he’s got to be at least 10) and proclaims that it’s only two dollars because it was in the bin of things you can fill a bag for two dollars for. He puts a bag on the barrel of the gun and I laugh hysterically because that’s just pure genius and his mother doesn’t notice. Nor did she notice that he donated the change in his pocket to our diabetes jar. Thankfully, after he shot his sister in the butt with it and she ran crying to her mom, his mother did hear him sincerely apologize and tell his sister that he’ll never use it on her again, he’ll use it to protect her.

He actually said the words “I will protect you.” Faith in future generations restored. Even though it took him five minutes to say it because he was laughing really hard at the word “butt”.

Oh! And Alfred and his lady love Amy (I think that’s her name, when he says it it sounds like Raimy) came in and he played me a tune on his harmonica, then the pair go to look at books and I hear him start again. Then he comes out from back there but the music is still playing, and he doesn’t have his harmonica. Dun dun dun.

He tells me it’s Amy on the organ in the back room! It was so beautiful! The pair of them are so talented it was amazing to hear! Then he tells me that some man told him he’d pay him $100 an hour to play the harmonica for cartoon background music and he declined because he was already committed to Amy he didn’t want to be committed to using up that time with some man just for a few bucks.

That’s my saga for the day, it was a good day!

Can’t wait to bust out the moustache bandaids for my leg tomorrow.

Constant vigilance, light and love.

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