Holidays

With the holidays right around the corner and my brain in the dumpster due to lack of …what’s that word? Drive? Caring? Get up and go?

Whichever, I’m going to postpone posting anything until the new year. I’m going to be changing a bunch of things on the site then anyway and it’ll be easier to say ‘Happy Holidays see you in the New Year!” rather then having scattered posts apologizing for being annoying and all that jazz.

I hope your holidays have already been good to you and that you have a fantastic rest of the holiday season! I will likely return with a vengeance in January!

See you then! Thanks for reading!

Constant vigilance and tidings of comfort and joy.

Insurgent–Veronica Roth

 Admittedly, I don’t remember much of this book either. The second I’m done a book now I start another one. I seriously just set it on my night stand and stand on my bed to get another book.

 I have two book shelves above my bed, one bookcase on the ground, books in my closet, and sometimes, when I go overboard, books in my dresser drawers.

 Insurgent is a sequel to Divergent, all hell broke loose in the last one and now we’re watching Tris and Four try to figure stuff out. And they keep getting mad at each other, which I don’t enjoy. Lead characters can fight, but not as much as these two did in the book. It was brutal! I just wanted to knock their heads together and tell them to work it out!

 Then again, they are only like 18 and 24 or something, so they could just not be meant for each other, you know? Who says that they have to be together just because they fell in love in a book?

 What am I saying anymore?

 I think I’ve lost my mind.

 I love these books, read them, they are really great. I’m not doing them justice due to memory loss.

I think I should go meditate or something.

Last Chance Dragons

I read ‘Eragon’, and I have the other two (Brisingr and Eldest) but I’m having a seriously hard time convincing myself to read them because I wasn’t the biggest fan of Eragon.

It was decent, made more for teenagers, so what I’m offering here is someone a chance to tell me if they loved them or hated them and if YOU guys think it’s worth it for me to keep them instead of taking them to the community outdoor library.

Last chance sweet dragons! Anyone want to speak up for these books?

 

Weird Vancity

Today was a decidedly strange day out in the city. And naturally, the first thing I think of to do is share it with people. Because I need constant validation of my hilarity.

First: I decided earlier that I’m like Tinkerbell. Without applause, I die. Which explains why I need to post 78 times a day on Facebook. I need to have a media blackout on that. I’ve gone insane.

Second: I was sitting next to a (clearly) homeless man on the bus today, and he fell asleep, thus dropping his drink. Which…admittedly, smelled friggin’ delicious to me. Now, I know what you’re thinking: EW! What hell Allison, you want to drink from a homeless mans cup from a bus floor?! Well of course not, what’s the matter with you? I have standards. God. But I really wanted to hand him 20 bucks and tell him that I am so, so sorry for his loss of his rum and coke in the middle of day. And that I understood why he was punching the air after it happened. But alas, I can’t spare 20 bucks and I was afraid if I spoke to him he’d punch me. Next time I’m drinking our drink I’ll pour some out for my fallen comrade. …or instead of wasting it I’ll drink in toast, yes, I like that better.

When I was walking home I stupidly decide to get off the bus about seven stops early to enjoy a walk in the fresh air and rain, like a weirdo.

With my suitcase. Because as I said: I’m stupid. Needless to say I was sweating up a storm because Vancouver decided that it was over its blip of snow and I no longer needed to wear the extra padding. So as I’m walking up this hill I’m muttering like a crazy person when I start cursing the hill. My brain thinks it’s hilarious because my next thought was: Fuck this hill and the erosion it came in on.

This making me laugh the rest of the way up the hill. Good one brain! You got me!

So, I went to work, after changing from my big winter coat to my more reasonable (and fashionable) plaid cape coat that makes me feel like Little Red Riding Hood. I seriously skipped at one point because it’s so awesome. Then the rest of my day became fairy tale themed. A woman gave me three kinds of specialty breads at the store (hello, don’t take food from strangers. But uh heeello I’m a sucker for free food and bread.) and then as I’m walking home in the rain, no longer thinking of being LRRH, but more thinking how effin’ hungry I was and how dark it was in the street and how I couldn’t wait to eat the rest of that bread my brain decided to start talking to me again.

But this wasn’t the joke cracking jester from earlier.

This is the Gollum that lives in my brain. (I believe I have five main characters living in my head that make up my personality: Murphy Brown, Rhoda Morgenstern, Donna Noble, Rapunzel, and Gollum.)

Do you know what that bastard says to me as I’m walking by myself humming ‘The Cave’ by Mumford and Sons in the rain?

‘Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?’ in THE creepiest voice ever! What a bastard! Well then I started singing out loud because no one can kill if you have a song in your heart. So there.

And I totally ate all three giant buns from that lady. In one sitting.

Constant vigilance!

 

Away

As a special treat for you guys I decided to keep reading Trainspotting. That’s not really a treat, the treat is: I’m reading it out loud in a Scottish accent and taping it so you can laugh your asses off at my attempt to be serious while cursing like a trucker.

Problem is, I’m not at home and I don’t have internet on my laptop here, so you’ll have to wait until Friday. But it’s worth it haha

Here are some accents you’ll hear while I try to get a handle on the Scottish one:

British
Irish
Russian
My regular voice sneaks in there too. So Canadian. Haha

See ya soon! Constant vigilance!

To Say A Little Word…

Here’s Ellen:

“I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush. I think it’s so much better to stand out in some way and to set yourself apart from the masses. It would be so boring to look out into the world and see hundreds of people who look and think exactly like me. If I wanted that, I could just sit in front of a mirror and admire my own reflection all day. That’s already how I spend my mornings. I don’t need to spend all my time doing that.

And who’s to say what’s better or worst anyway? Who’s to even say what’s normal or average? We’re all different people and we’re allowed to be different from one another. If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don’t curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hat. That’ll show them.”

Ellen Degeneres, Seriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen Degeneres.

Tell No One–Harlan Coben

As you may have noticed I don’t write these directly after I read them anymore. I’m lazy. I write a bunch in one sitting and pretend like I was writing them all along. Which tends to lead me to forgetting what some of these books were actually about.

 Now, I gave this book a 2 out of 5 stars on my GoodReads… Which means I hated it and wanted to kick it down a well. I don’t think I’ve ever put a 1 star on anything because I know how much work it takes to write a book, even a crappy one.

 This book was about (wait, while I read the synopsis on GoodReads) a man whose wife disappears and then he’s getting cryptic messages 8 years later that sound like it’s his wife talking to him. (Right, now I remember. Sort of.)

 I’m not going to say Don’t Bother, but if I don’t remember most of it, then I’m likely not going to read it again. I’m pretty sure I actually gave it away. …

 If you like predictable “Thrillers” give it a try.

 But you’d probably enjoy Gone Girl better.

The Lucky One–Nicholas Sparks

Three words: Zac. Efrons. Butt.

 That’s all I think about when I think of The Lucky One. (and we are, aren’t we?) What an ASS that guy has. I wish my butt were nearly as sexy as that. He must do squats or something…I think those Sleeping Beauty books have changed me.

 After reading a supremely dirty book I thought it would be good to wash out the filthy and toss in some “pure” love.

Now, I rolled my eyes a lot during the movie. The girl (although I love her in other stuff) was a serious over reactor and kind of an over-actor. I thought it was weird that she was older than him and fooling around with that guy, although I don’t blame her one bit, I mean, can I talk about Zac Efrons ass enough??? I don’t think so.

 All right, fine, I’ll talk about the storyline.

 Guy is in army, guy finds picture of perdy lady, nearly dies, picture acts as good luck charm, guy decides after he goes on leave to look for said girl in picture.

She hates him. He likes her. She finds out he’s not a d-bag. She loves him. They hump. The kid is funny. Someone dies at the end.

 Classic Nicholas Sparks. However, at the end of the book I was convinced that my boyfriend had died instead of who dies at the end of the movie, so that old switcheroo had me in a state for a bit.

 Good ol’ Nicky Sparkle is a good writer and scared me half to death. Talent. Pure talent.

 Good book, give her a read.

 Constant vigilance!