As you may have guessed from recent (and past) posts, I’m single. What a travesty, right? I’m pretty and awesome and have a unabashed love for dude-type things. (Re: My addiction to watching Lethal Weapon every summer, and my love of all things Joss Whedon. Not to mention my increasing collection of action figures and plans for a new tattoo.)
So, what am I doing being single?
Living my life. (Or according to my Nonna, I just don’t want people to bother me. She’s not wrong.) You see, I also have a serious case of Sarcastica Influenza. And a big huge bleeping Bullshit Detector. Therefor, guys of this lovely hipster brofest twerking Hot or Nah era, are promptly rejected when they come a sniffin’. Also, I kind of have a Bitchy Resting Face, so I scare people when I’m just hanging around. It’s kind of fun. Until you make a kid cry. Anyway.
That being said: I love Valentines Day. Oh yes, yes, it’s all that Hallmarky lovefest fakery to some. And people go over board, stress themselves out, and whatnot. But for one shining day most of us are glowingly in love, expressing love, or just in general being kind to one another.
Yes, people get down about not having a significant other or someone to celebrate with. To you I say: CELEBRATE WITH ME!
No I am not hosting a mixer for lonely hearts. (That’s in your church basement, seek it out. What have you.) Tomorrow I will be throwing some of my favourite love quotes at you and a list of books that will guide you to a great love story. Don’t fret if you don’t have a Valentine, I’ll be your Valentine.
Fret if you can’t find something to munch on while reading said love books. Personally, I will likely be eating a box of chocolates, drinking some cheap ass wine, and watching Tangled (Or Braveheart, I haven’t decided. Oo, or Captain America. Nothing says Love like Chris Evans pecks.) with Doomsday and celebrating that she made it through her surgery and has no immediate plans to kill me after I put a cone on her last night.
Be kind to one another, yourself, and don’t bash people who are in love, that speaks more to how you look at yourself than what you think of them.
Unless they are throat deep in a make out session. Then throw things. That’s just gross. I highly suggest carrying around cherry tomatoes it looks like fun to hit people with vegetables. (I’ve been watching a lot of Merlin lately, that guy is in the stocks a lot. I want to nail someone in the head with a tomato so hard.)
Constant vigilance, love and light.
Your Vancity Valentine
P.S: I really just love heart shaped things, so it’s like my own personal doodles are everywhere. Timmy Hos ‘I Heart You’ donuts here I come!