What is it in other peoples brains that makes them think that it’s okay to poo-poo other peoples happiness and lives? What are you the king of the castle? FYI: This Queen wears the Kings crown around here.
I’m really revved up about this right now. Spitting mad if you will.
After another couple of months jobless (after my year of being jobless for five months and then having only a part time job and little to no money, having to borrow, scrape, and downsize: hell, I even sold my keyboard.) where I’m sitting in self doubt about my abilities and what I’m going to do with my future, in comes a thoughtful family member and asks me if I would like to be the nanny to my little cousins.
You know, the ones I’m always reading books for to see if they are appropriate? The ones that I invite over to play because I’M bored? The ones I genuinely like to hang out with because they are great kids and we just GET each other?
It seems like I’m mad about that, yes? Well, hell no I’m not! I’m so ecstatic! My cousin says we can try it for a month or the summer or whatever I like. I’ve always dreamed of being a nanny (it’s on my list of 1000 jobs I want before I die.) and it will be so much more fun with kids I actually like and have fun with. My Pinterest account can vouch, I have a zillion things pinned to do with these kids at any given moment. Couple of weeks ago it was the rugs on the hula hoops, next week I’m making superhero flats for Violet, and I already have plans to teach them to make pasta, bread, and various odd things this summer.
So I’m just minding my own business being happy about all this when in comes a family member (I won’t tell you which one, I already want to slap them, I don’t want you scowling at them either) and asks me how my job interview went. I asked which one, and they said ‘I don’t know, the one last week everyone told me about’, I tell them they didn’t call me back and then tell them my fantastic news of becoming a nanny for my cousins. To which their immediate reply back is:
“Those kids are going to hate you.”
Oh. Hell. No. They could’ve said anything else. Anything else in the world. Like ‘Are you sure you’re going to like that?’ ‘Have you really thought about this?’ “Did you discuss it for hours with your cousin to see what you are getting into?’ The answer to all of those is Fuck. Yes.
My little cousins are first and foremost in my mind with this. Naturally I did think ‘Will we get under each others nails? Will we get into fights? Will they still like me if I have to tell them ‘No’ for something or get them in trouble? Will our dynamic change?”
And again, the answer to all of those is Fuck. Yes. (I might want to dial down the cursing if I’m going to be working with children…)
Now, let me put aside the fact that my cousins and I are going to have so much fun together I can’t even stand it and go with the next thing this person said to me:
“That’s not a career.”
Deep breath. No one, and I mean NO ONE has any right to say what a career to any given person is ever. I have been told with almost every job I’ve had that it’s not a “real job”. “Allison, when are you going to go and find a real job?” is a question I get most often, well, right after “When are you going to find a nice boy and get married?” To which my new answer is: When I feel like it. And, I’m sorry, I thought a job was something you did and then got paid for it? Newflash: Most people are happy to work in these “non-jobs”. Do you know what I’ve done to pay my bills? I’ve worked at a Tim Hortons, I’ve worked as a receptionist, I’ve been a cook at a country club, a waitress/baker in a bakery, a dog sitter/walker, I’ve worked in a thrift store, etc. Guess what? I’ve been paid to work at all those places. No, they are not super glamorous (I mean, the thrift store had fur coats and fancy things for me to play with, so that was kind of glamourous), but I liked every single one of those jobs and those ARE some peoples careers. So now I’m moving on to be a nanny because not only was I offered the position but because I think I will be great at it and have a ton of fun.
This person made me feel worthless for a split second because I’m not in the career I’m aiming for (hello bestselling author) or apparently THEY are aiming for for me. Which they have never told me what it is they think I should be but apparently my being a wanderer isn’t working for them. So now that I’m over feeling worthless I’m just fucking pissed that they said that to me in the way that they said it. Words are so important! Who doesn’t think before they speak anymore? It’s so easy to be a dick. Absurdly easy.
And who the hell do you think you are to poke at others life choices? I feel like 10.
State your name, rank, and intention. Allison. Cousin. Fun.
What more could someone want then to have one of their loved ones just having FUN in life? I will never fit in to the “real” or “normal” of life. Everything I ever do will have raised eyebrows and questions and I should get use to it, but the people closest to me need to let go of those cookie cutters they are holding.
My more mature response to this is (after I just deleted the one that starts with the ‘f’ word once again): Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do. (John Locke, Lost)
You don’t know my abilities, you don’t know what I’m capable of, you know nothing Jon Snow.
I’m so mad I can’t stop talking in tv quotes!
KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND DON’T LET THE MUGGLES GET YOU DOWN.
*whips microphone across room.*