As you know I’ve been rutting myself into my sad sackery for months and have just started to peek out from behind the Curtain of Dreading Life.
And Jesus Christ I wish I had done this months ago.
Out of sheer annoyance that I wasn’t getting anything done on my list of things from the past year (Ie. Getting my tattoo lasered, getting the piano tuned, signing back up for stuff, etc.) I just shot off emails left and right to get the word out even if I couldn’t get my physical self out yet.
Well, fate is a tricky bitch because after I shot off the first email, to one of my favourite places of joy and learning, the music store in Orangeville (Broadway Music), thinking that ‘Hey, at least if nothing comes of it then I at least wrote them to sign up one more time.” The timing kept being off financially, miscommunications happened, lesson times weren’t working for us, and I just plain old forgot to keep getting back to them about stuff.
I’m aware I’m a total flake.
So, the universe stepped in and I got an email back right away saying “Boom. Here we go.”.
Naturally, I was scared half to death at the prospect of humiliating myself every week once more in my bid to learn the piano, talk to other people, and sing in front of Heather who is top of the top of singers in my books. She’s got a vocal range that anyone would kill for.
Serious jealousy over here. If I had her lungs, voice, and stamina, I would be Carlotta in The Phantom of the Opera until the day I died.
But thank the universe (and Michael, the man who wrote me back with impeccable timing) that this happened because last week was so oddly relaxing, in that it wasn’t relaxing.
We laughed, we sang, we half assed the piano while I try my age old tactics of distracting Greg by cursing and general story telling, and I feel like a light has been lit back up.
What I’m saying is: Take the things that make you happy and amplify them. Whether it’s taking lessons at 28 years old, or dancing in the middle of the Goddamn street, who cares, do the things that embarrass the Hell out of you because there is such a happy reward at the end because you DID something. You got up. You showed up. You may have fucked up but without failure you never learn anything new.
I’m so fucking happy and can’t wait until tomorrow.
Where I will once again prove that laughter is the best medicine, and laughing at yourself is even greater because:
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.