Last week I promised you a topic that I had a brief discussion with my piano teacher about, something that I find pretty interesting, and a double Keep Moving Forward this week was mentioned.
So here we go!
We were talking about being adults.
I shall also be renaming my teacher…Giles. Not because he is as mature numerically or British as Anthony Stewart Head, but because he kind of looks like a young version of him. And he teaches me things. Most of the time. I’m usually thinking about food, so he has a hard time getting me to concentrate.
And I obviously look like Buffy. (Haw. Haw.)
Anyway, anonymity aside, Giles is turning 34 and I’m heading into my 30s in a year and a half. [Saying that just took all the air from my lungs.]
He said something that makes complete and utter sense to me because I’d been feeling the same way for a while.
He said, “Adults do not exist. We are all just pretending.”
Now, I know some real adults. Like capital ‘A’ adults. I consider my parents and grandparents adults, but I also know they all have that childlike side to them that sneaks out every once in awhile and I’m wondering if they are just pretending too.
I’m in my late 20s and my little cousins consider me an adult, while I most decidely do not.
Carol said to me once that I am every age, and that’s crazy and wonderful for them because then I’m not always being a grown up while also not always being immature and annoying as I spend the day with them.
That’s high praise guys. High praise. [Insert Nicholas Cage face.]
Now, since I’m in my late 20s, my friends are all getting married, talking babies, some have already made babies, and there are houses, real careers, and cars in their lives. They’ve found love and happiness and all seem (on the outside) like real adults to me.
I feel insecurely immature compared to them because I still live in my parents house, I do not own my own vehicle, I have never had a high paying job, I have never been in love, I’ve never even just made out with someone for the hell of it.
And spoiler alert to next weeks KMF: I still hold my V-card.
So that whole baby thing is lost on me. Even though I have my part time baby Daryl over here. Who I just watched lick a hashbrown for ten minutes without actually eating any of it.
Here’s a shocker: That’s enough for me at the moment.
I spend a lot of time thinking about how I could become an adult, how I could be doing more, being more, and generally living up to the expectations of my grandparents and family.
It kind of hurts a little when you aren’t considered an adult by your family because you haven’t hurled a human out of your lady parts. That’s not my fault! I want to wait for love! I don’t just want some randoms baby! Sorry I haven’t found a gentleman to fornica–
I’m getting a little all over the map here so I’ll just copy and paste my mic drop to my best guy friend, who shall be renamed…Thor.
I need to confirm with people if they actually enjoy these name changes someday.
We talked about this topic together after my lesson because it really hit a note with me. [Heyo, pun not intended.] Hit me so hard that I ranted like a motherfucker.
Thor pointed out that there will be a bit of anxiety lifted when we leave our twenties, like we will have that deadline of accomplishing so much by the time we are 30. There IS no deadline. You just have to live your life the way you choose.
Here’s my response:
“I think so too. Like, this is my life and I can do what I want. And that is just the most relieving thing ever. There’s so much pressure when you are in your 20s to do it all before 30, but who the hell made that rule? I’ve never owned my own car, I’ve never had a house, I’ve never been in love the way it apparently matters, but I live with my family and we have fun even when we are fighting, and I don’t mind living with my family because of that. I like being close to them, it’s very isolating not being included in what’s happening with them. And so I’ve never been in romantic love? But I’ve loved leaps and bounds with people. I never thought that other loves would matter besides having a boyfriend or significant other, and I think that’s the lesson that all these years alone has taught me. Love isn’t one section or person in your life. It’s all the sections. If you don’t live your life with love and light than what the hell is the damn point of doing anything?
If you don’t have that person that doesn’t mean the rest of what you are doing doesn’t matter. It just means that you get to learn about all the different kinds of loves and most of all how to become more yourself without someone else, which I think is actually really important.
I get to be so many things, and just because ‘girlfriend’ or ‘wife’ isn’t on that list doesn’t mean anything. All it says is that I love myself enough to wait for the real deal. So when I leave my 20s that’s the most important thing I’ll take with me. And that age doesn’t matter, you are who you are no matter what age you are going to grow to.
What matter is that you GET to grow older and wiser, and to feel like a shit head just because you haven’t “achieved” all these “things” shouldn’t exist in your mind in the first place. YOU make the rules. YOU make your life. Just because everyone else is driving in the lines doesn’t mean I should ever be ashamed that I’m painting on the sidewalk.”
Keep moving forward, live your life without the pressure of accomplishing so much when you are meant to just ENJOY life.
Which is why I’m taking piano and singing lessons at 28 years old. I do what I want.