I got really amped up the other night because my brain decided that instead of sleep it would think over something that has really been bothering me.
“Bitchy Resting Face”.
I have it, I know that, I always look unimpressed or super annoyed when I’m just hanging around and thinking or just working away at a task.
In truth, I’m not unimpressed. That’s just my face.
My little sister also has this face, and while I don’t get too wound up about stuff involving myself, I do get insanely angry when things happen to my siblings. Lately customers and workers have been going into her work and telling her to ‘Smile more.’
To which she just stares at them and her ‘Bitchy Resting Face’ turns into ‘Go Fuck Yourself Face’. Or simply says ‘No.’ Which I find hilarious.
What has me wound up is not just people picking at my baby sister, but that people (mainly men, I’ve found.) have the gaul to tell someone to change their face because they want a different look when they walk into a room. How self-centred is that?
You don’t like how my face looks when you walk into a room? Well maybe YOU should change YOUR attitude. My face will be in reaction to how much I care for you. And if you are a customer, yes, I will be kind at first, but then you telling me to change my face for your pleasure will make our future interactions less friendly.
Because you don’t own my face. You don’t own how I feel about you or your presence. Nobody should tell anyone to change their facial expression! It makes me so mad!
Because it’s actually incredibly sexist.
The man that sits across from my sister in the office doesn’t get told to smile even though he has the same expression.
I’ve been told time and again ‘You would be so pretty if you smiled.’.
So you’re telling me my regular face is ugly? Oh thanks. Now I’ll smile you self serving son of a bitch.
I’ve been told time and again “Why don’t you give me a smile?”
Because I don’t want to. That’s why.
I’ve been told “Perk up.” “Smile more.” “Why are you so angry?” “What’s the matter with you? Somebody piss in your cereal?”
No. You just walked in the door. And this is my fucking face.
I’ve been asked “Just give ME a smile?”
Why? Because you’re so special?
And this is from strangers. (Okay, sometimes people or customers I had seen on the regular and had made an assessment about our relationship from the get go based on how they treat me and others around me.)
Let’s get a couple things straight shall we?
No one can tell you how to react to them. No one can ask for a smile. No one has control over your face but you.
My smile doesn’t belong to anyone but me. And I get to decide who sees it. It’s a signal to show I care about you.You don’t get to demand someone’s facial expression to be more bright because it bothers you that they don’t light up when you walk into a room. That is not your right.
I am not going to be subservient and submissive to stroke your ego.
You do have one thing correct however:
You are not the sun that lights the day. I am.
I am brilliant and dangerous. And my smile DOES light up a room.
It can also burn your guts into liquid, take the flesh from your bones, and char your remains.
My light is malevolent and fickle. But make no mistake:
It. Is. Mine.
Keep moving forward.