Review Dump

Hey there Sports Fans!

So I realize that I’ve been M.I.A. constantly. It’s just who I am now.

I’m so far behind that most of these are from LAST SUMMER. What. On. Earth. So I’m  going to just dump a handful of short reviews on you.

The Bookstore—Deborah Meyler 

This book didn’t get a fair shake. I read it after Simon Vs. The Homosapiens Agenda and could NOT get into it after SUCH a good book. 

Maybe if I read it after a lacklustre book I would’ve liked it more?

It’s about a young woman working in a bookstore who gets dumped just as she was about to tell her boyfriend that she is pregnant. 

It was an okay book. 

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Dumb Witness—Agatha Christie 

‘Dumb Witness’ is about an old spinster who falls down the stairs and nearly croaks after she appears to slip on her dogs ball. 

Talk about my future, am I right? 

She is trying to solve who is trying to off her for her money. 

As always with Agatha Christie, a good whodunit! 

Sometimes when I read her books I’m like OOOOKKKAAAAY I GET IT. JUST TELL ME WHO DID IT. 

But this one held my attention and I liked the ending. 

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The Bluest Eyes—Toni Morrison 

I hadn’t read a Toni Morrison book before this. I was told to read “Beloved’ because it was AMAZING. 

And somehow I got it into my brain that it was a sequel to another book that I didn’t have and didn’t read it and ended up reading The Bluest Eyes. 

Which I’m glad I did! 

I love her style of writing, I loved the character of Pecola, and I just wanted everything to be okay for her in the end. 

It makes me sad to read about people wishing away their features or wishing they had other features to make them more beautiful. 

I want to protect all the kids in the world from the world and what it thinks beauty is.

When I reality, we are ALL beautiful in our own individual ways. 

And I think Toni Morrison did SUCH a beautiful job with this narrative and I really enjoyed reading about lives like her characters who are so different from what I grew up with and what I even sometimes know today. 

It’s a book that’s good for learning things about the world and what’s what. 

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The Screwtape Letters—C.S. Lewis

My entire life I thought of C.S. Lewis as the guy who wrote Narnia and kids books and that was that. 

I’m really glad I got to know more of his bibliography as an adult because, here’s something I bet you didn’t see coming: 

He didn’t just write kids books. 

WHAT. 

I know. 

The Screwtape Letters is about two devils writing each other letters. 

It was interesting and cool to read letters where things clearly happened OUTSIDE of the letters that were barely mentioned. 

It was like reading real letters between two people and I liked that. 

It made me really think about the devil on my shoulder. 

And how little by little the devil can take us down, starting with something so small.

Interesting read. 

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed—Alan Alda

I was going to give this book away before reading it. 

Eventually I did, to my dad, but I read it first.

This book surprised me. I found it kind of boring at first, but as his story went on I got more invested in him. 

Not just as an actor, but as a human being. It was really cool to see where he came from, how his relationships with parents were, and it was so full of sage advice. 

I ended up really appreciating him. 

I’m glad I didn’t shelve this book any longer or put it in the “Never gonna finish reading that” pile where I was determined it would end up in the beginning.

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Sliding Into Home—Kendra Wilkinson

Where to start with this book? 

It was…exactly what you thought it was going to be. 

Bubbly, pink, and just okay. 

Kendra was a Playboy bunny who was recruited very young and spills the beans on things like feuds in the Playmate House, and talks about her sex life with Hugh Hefner. 

Which to me (and her actually) sounds pretty gross because it was like a revolving door. 

She was sweet, honest, and had only really nice to things to say about Hugh. 

Which. *shrug*

I don’t suggest this book to be honest because it was a fluff book that in the long term of life: doesn’t matter. 

Brutal, but really, what was I expecting? 

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But Enough About Me–Burt Reynolds

I think I’m psychic sometimes. 

Or I’m an evil witch who accidentally marks a person for death upon reading their autobiography. 

Poor sweet dirty bird Burt Reynolds. 

This book was so fun to read and incredibly interesting! 

I love a good autobiography these days and I really enjoyed how this sounds how he talked. His stories were cool, his life was amazing, and his heart was big as all get out. 

And man did he love Sally Field. 

And hate that photo shoot on the rug. He even wrote in the book how when he dies he hopes that no one remembers him JUST for that. 

Go figure on social media that’s the picture EVERYONE and their mother was putting up to commemorate him.

Rest in peace you hairy bastard. 

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Tranny–Laura Jane Grace

It is essential that everyone reads this book. 

If you have transgender friends and want to know more about their struggle of identity: read this book.

If you don’t know anyone who is trans but want to know more about that side of the universe: read this book.

If you like autobiographies: Read this book.

If you like music: Read this book.

If you like Against Me! : Read this book.

If you don’t know who the hell Against Me! is then, you got it: Read this book. 

If you are human and want to human better: Read this book. 

I literally just want to Oprah the hell out of people and go around handing this out. 

Because honest to God: This book is so well written, so poignant for our time, and so touching and honest and brutal, and watching the journey Laura Jane Grace has taken is so raw and beautiful and *mindblown emoji*. 

Now, I’ve never fully listened to Against Me! (at the time and I listened throughout the book as the music was suggested or mentioned by the author and now I am a fan), my friend (who has been a fan for awhile) read this book and it spoke so hard to his soul that if he was a violent man he would’ve thrown it at me and told me to read it. 

Instead he forked it over after adamantly stressing how amazing this book is and then whispered “Goooooo reeeeeeead.” in my ear. 

Okay, he didn’t do that last part. Well, not in my ear anyway, I am a violent person and would’ve punched him for being creepy. 

Anyway. 

I cannot imagine the life and struggle and guilt and relief and stress and secrecy and then finally openness it takes to be a transgender person. They go through so fucking much that I,  as a CIS woman, will never have to go through or fully understand or be able to gage on any sort of yard stick. 

But I can take my white privilege and my CIS privilege and quite frankly, my Canadian privilege, and do better about stepping into someone else’s shoes. I can take the time and see what’s up with other genders and beyond.

I can check in on my fellow humans. 

Because that’s all we all are. A bunch of meat sacks running around trying to figure shit out. 

Laura Jane Grace (and I will continue to use her full name here because she fucking EARNED it.) is a beautiful writer, musician, and human. This book is now a part of my heart and I need it to be a part of others hearts too. 

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Constant vigilance!

How to Be a Bawse–Lilly Singh

Everyone should read this as a teenager. 

It tells you important things on self confidence and what really matters in life. 

I liked reading Lilly’s journey on being a YouTube star. (Which, if you haven’t seen anything she’s done: GO. Watch. She’s hilarious.) 

She has some fantastic stories.

And that’s all I’ve really got for a book that was well written and thoughtful. 

(Go figure. I wrote like three pages on fucking ‘Cujo’ and I can’t even write a proper paragraph on something that will actually help other people.) 

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The Long Hard Road Out of Hell–Marilyn Manson

“What the fuck did I get myself into?”

This is the thought that came up the most when I read this book. 

Look, I know who Marilyn Manson is. I’ve heard some of his music, I’ve read stories about what the fuck he gets into. I know he has beef with Justin Beiber about some t-shirts. 

I don’t know why I know that but I do. 

I know he was married to Dita Von Teese (who I adore.), dated Rose McGowan, and that he’s in general a pretty fucking weird guy. 

I didn’t realize how gross he was. 

This book was traumatizing in its brilliance, but also just gross because of gross things he did. He would scare me every other page with a startling pictures. Which I’m betting was the point. This guy is smart as hell and clever as a whip. And yes, for a while he was using his powers for evil and not good. But he took a long journey back to us (I’m sure he would resent that statement. Because who is “us”? The human race?)  and he’s finally becoming a human being. 

I think.

I don’t know.

This book was super messed up. His stories of his golden ages were really fucked up. As one would expect. 

And then he would hit you with a story of how it hurts that people would harm themselves or others in his name. And you’re like ‘You poor soul, let me hold you.”. 

Really think about it before you read this book. I didn’t . And I’m both worse and better for it.

It was intelligently thought out and executed in it’s contrasting unnerving you and making you love him at the same time.  

Constant vigilance.

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I, Bificus–Bif Naked

Oh Biffy. 

What has happened to you. 

All the things. All the good and all the bad. And all the in-between things. 

I’ve loved Bif since I was teeny little preteen and so much of my early teens was filled with her music. And I’m so glad to finally read her words on the things that happened to her. 

And SOooooooOOooooo much happened to her. 

Fuck. 

Just read this. It’s so goddamn good that I have no words for how good it is. 

I’ve literally tried to write extra paragraphs about it but I honestly have zero words. Just a feeling about this book. Like I want to grab her close and squeeze her tight.

So many bad things happen to people (duh) and she got more dollops than I have that’s for sure. Which makes me always feel like that Lady Gaga song “Come to Mama”.

Come to Mama. Tell me who hurt ya .

Constant vigilance.

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Scrappy Little Nobody–Anna Kendrick

Why is she the most adorable person to ever adorable? 

Just a really funny, well written autobiography about the kicky little life of one of our most favourite Hollywood actresses. 

Her stories were cute, and I really appreciated how honest she was about what it feels like to be an actress in the limelight. Like how all of sudden (because of Twilight) she was thrown into the light and everyone thought she was this rich actress because she was given dresses to wear to awards shows and how surreal it is to be in that type of situation and then have to go home to your tiny apartment that you share with your roommate and your cheap Ikea furniture and have to give all the jewels and the dress back the next day.

I really enjoy her awkwardness and honesty.

And her incessant joking about how Chris Pine is stalking her. 

I don’t feel the need to write a really long review, she can tell you all about her life in this funny book! 

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