Something From the Nightside–Simon R. Green

My brother recommended this book. Which sometimes when my brother recommends things I’m like “What? You liked this?” And then he tells me it wasn’t his favourite but I would like it. And I’m like ‘Why would you recommend a book that WASN’T your favourite?’ and he’s all “I don’t know, it was a good book.” *shrug*

And then he declares war on my nation and we argue for a year until something nice happens and we reach a treaty.

Although I think this years war was declared because we are in a fight for a werewolf cat creature? I’m not entirely sure if that thing is even real. I just know it was cute as all hell. 

(*Editors Note: It IS real. It’s just a baby Maine Coon.)

Anyway, this book is about a detective who can go into another world called the Nightside. 

It was interesting and cool as far as detective novels go. I liked that the lead character had magical powers, it kind of reminded me of Nevermore by Neil Gaiman, and I will definitely be borrowing some more of these in the future from my brother once my book list is dwindled a bunch.

(It’s never going to be dwindled, who am I kidding? I literally have plans to go raid thrift stores next week with my bestie.)

(*Editors Note: This was written before quarantine. We did raid thrift stores, but this was written last year. That’s how far behind I am.)

Constant vigilance!

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Big Little Lies–Liane Moriarty

Sometimes I give in and read popular books to see what the big fucking deal is. 

“Gone Girl” is an example of this. I read that because I didn’t want the mystery ruined. But I did not like that book. I could not remotely relate to the characters or understand their motivations. It seemed far-fetched. 

I read “Life of Pi” and was like “Meh. It was okay. Kind of annoyed at the ending.” *awkward shrug* 

I read “Simon VS. The Homosapiens Agenda” and was like ‘HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD GODDAMN BOOK EVERYONE MUST READ THIS AHHHHH” And threw it at everyone I know.

But that’s a story for another day. 

The point of my saying this is that sometimes books exceed my expectations. Sometimes. 

SO where does “Big Little Lies” rate? On a scale of Gone Girl to Simon? 

Somewhere in the middle. 

It was well written, and shocking in parts, and then everything exploded and I was left like “WHOA WHAT.” 

I didn’t think there was going to be so much intrigue in a book about three mothers and how they all come to be friends.

But sometimes a book is suggested by the entire world for a reason. 

Because it explodes at the end. 

Not…not literally. 
Although WHAT a surprise that would be! 

Constant vigilance!

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Bonfire–Krysten Ritter

I had been anticipating this book on my shelf for sooooo long. I LOVE Krysten Ritter. I like every character she’s played, I follow her on Instagram and love that she’s a knitter and does that in between doing scenes for shows and movies. 

I love her little weasel of a dog, Mikey.

Did I LOVE this book? 

I wanted to soooo bad. 

I commend anyone who writes a book. Writing books is hard. Like really really hard. 

And I super commend actresses and actors who write them because so much stigma comes when you write a book as an actor. People think you have a ghost writer, or that it’s going to be some fluffy piece of crap that’s just to make money.

 Let me tell you this: This was NOT a fluffy piece of crap. This was a thought out mystery and well written.

I just did not dig it as much I wanted to. Which was probably WHY I didn’t dig it. I built it up for too long and should’ve just read it when I found it. 

This book is about an environmental lawyer who goes home after a long stint of avoiding it. 

GoodReads does a better job of describing this:

It has been ten years since Abby Williams left home and scrubbed away all visible evidence of her small town roots. Now working as an environmental lawyer in Chicago, she has a thriving career, a modern apartment, and her pick of meaningless one-night stands.

But when a new case takes her back home to Barrens, Indiana, the life Abby painstakingly created begins to crack. Tasked with investigating Optimal Plastics, the town’s most high-profile company and economic heart, Abby begins to find strange connections to Barrens’ biggest scandal from more than a decade ago involving the popular Kaycee Mitchell and her closest friends—just before Kaycee disappeared for good.

Abby knows the key to solving any case lies in the weak spots, the unanswered questions. But as Abby tries to find out what really happened to Kaycee, she unearths an even more disturbing secret—a ritual called “The Game,” which will threaten the reputations, and lives, of the community and risk exposing a darkness that may consume her.

With tantalizing twists, slow-burning suspense, and a remote, rural town of just five claustrophobic miles, Bonfire is a dark exploration of the question: can you ever outrun your past?

 It was good. But not Argh inducing. You know? When a book is so good when you are done you’re like ‘AAAARRGGHHH I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO READ THIS SO I CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT!!!!!” 

Overall, good summer book to read lazily on the beach.

Constant vigilance!

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Summers Read Part 2

I’m backed up. Not…not in the bowel department. I don’t know why I feel like I needed to clarify that when you’ll see in a minute that I mean book reviews.

Either way. Here we are.

In The Woods–Tana French

This book was total trickery. 

In that I didn’t realize it was a series. I only read the first one, but now I need to read the rest to find out what the shit happened. 

This is about how kids were in the playing in the back woods in a Dublin suburb in 1984, and they only found one kid.

A parents worse nightmare. Two kids went missing and one was found covered in blood gripping a tree trunk and unable to remember what happened. 

20 years later the boy is a detective and he’s on the case of a 12 year old girl who was murdered in the same woods his friends went missing. 

He uncovers piece by piece what happened not just to the girl, but to his friends. 

Sort of. I remember being like ‘Wait WHAT.’ When it ended because it wasn’t finished and then I looked it up online and found out that it was part of a series. 

And then not committing to find the others and never solving the mystery. 

Not like me. 

But oh well. Someday i’ll finish that series because after rereading its synopsis I’m intrigued again! 

…Actually upon reflection that totally is like me. I stopped reading Game of Thrones three books in, I stopped reading Outlander after two books, I even stopped reading those Sweep books and had to return to them to finish them. 

My best friend is laughing at my previous statement of “Not like me.” haha. (She gets all the texts when I pick the series back up of “Hey…who’s dead and what happened???” 

Her memory is better then mine. 

Anywho: This book was interesting, maybe if I stumble upon the second book somewhere I’ll get back to it and solve that dang mystery!

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Weird Sisters–Eleanor Brown

This book was very enjoyable. Reminded me of me and my sisters. Only in that we are weird and so different from each other, and yet so similar. Really, if one of us didn’t have a sense of humour our family dynamics would be VERY different. 

Instead of making each other laugh, someone would’ve been stabbed a long time ago. 

Anyway, this book is about three sisters who find themselves back at home to help with their ailing mother. Their dad named them after three of Shakespeares leading ladies and only really speaks to them in verse. 

Which I would find infuriating, but also fun. I love Shakespeare. But I would’ve slapped my dad. 

Good book, well written, interesting story. Definitely read it. 

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I Know I Am, But What Are You?–Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee is (was, maybe?) the Most Senior Correspondent on the The Daily Show (In the Jon Stewart era) and is pretty damn funny.

This was a good summer book. Clever, well spoken, and had fun stories in there but not overwhelmingly political or heavy. But she also didn’t dumb anything down. It was lovely. 

I liked reading about her life and where she ended up. Despite the fact that people have always flashed her at weird intervals in her life. 

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They Do it With Mirrors–Agatha Christie

I like the simplicity of Agatha Christies writing while also the whole “whodunit” nature of her books.

It was a simpler time when she wrote, so it’s understandable that I would be like “HAHA I know who did it!” When I’ve been raised to mistrust certain characters and been thrown off by the likes of Joss Whedon, George R. R. Martin, and that damn Gone Girl book and Before I Go to Sleep.

Psychological thriller this is not.

However, it was an okay book given that I understand that at the time, she was writing for the mystery aspect and trying to throw people off. She does a good job.

It’s about a home that is a rehabilitation centre for delinquents and someone ends up dead.

Interesting read if you are looking for fancy talk and a good mystery to curl up with in the fall.

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Goodnight Nobody–Jennifer Weiner

I’m really enjoying these in between books I’ve been choosing to give myself a break from the Game of Thrones series.

This book was pretty decent, it’s about a bored New York mother who moved to the suburbs in order to keep her family safer and happier and the end result is that she is starting to lose herself and hates everything about where she is and what she’s doing.

And then there is a murder in the neighbourhood and she tries to solve it.

It was pretty interesting and good for a brain break and I felt like she was a real person that I would meet at the supermarket or the park. Run down, tired as all hell, and thinks that the other mothers are basically stepford wives.

It was an easy read and I really had no idea who had committed the murder until they gave the smallest hint of a hint of a hint. And looking back on the book, it made total sense as to who it was, but they were so well hidden that you wouldn’t suspect.

It was nice, I look forward to reading more of her books.

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AHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !

I need to set up a Google Alert or something for things like this. But I just wanted to let you all know (since I assume you are all huge J.K. Rowling fans like myself.) that J.K. Rowling AKA Robert Galbraith has a new book out!
LAST MONTH. I don’t know why she didn’t call me to tell me. I thought we were besties, but whatever.

It’s called The Silkworm, it’s another Cormoran Strike mystery and I’m so pumped to run to Chapters and shriek the entire time up until I finish the book.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!! Goddamn.

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince–J.K. Rowling

Were you under the impression that I would stop reviewing these?

I laugh at your naïveté!

I was reading this while being trapped in the land of Trainspotting, my brain was in shambles, my spirit was low and I couldn’t find a book in sight that could hold my attention for more than thirty seconds. I put down probably six books before I picked this one back up. It seemed fitting since the last time a book (and I think it was still Trainspotting) busted up my noodle I turned to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

C.S. Lewis once said “It is a good rule after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.” I think that’s a good idea, but since I have a reading list that outstretches my lifespan I don’t always listen to that advice.

But man oh man was he right this time. Reading Harry Potter is that feeling of coming home after a long hard day. That feeling of being curled up in front of a movie with hot chocolate. That feeling of being snuggled up with your pets. That soul filling feeling of complete and utter calmness that I get from meditation, singing, and painting all in one.

I’m over selling this again, aren’t I?

HP and HBP may be sad, we lose a beloved character and the wizarding world is in turmoil, but it’s still home and I’m always glad to be back.

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Strange Visitor–By Cassandra

On Hallowe’en night, I opened the door, and the first thing I saw (or didn’t see) was a missing left arm. The remaining limb hanging loosely at his side, blood dripping off it. Then a white shirt covered in blood, molded into his bald head, was his left arm. He was missing an eye, he smiled a toothless smile, and there tied to his tongue was his eyeball. He was missing two fingers on his right hand, they were sewn into his nostrils. He had huge scars all over his face, one is in the shape of a happy face. His nose with finger in each nostril is not in place, it’s on his left cheek beside a half ear.

He is barefooted and missing toes, but they’ve been glued to his knees. And he has strange green spots all over his legs and a hole through his stomach with a cat sleeping happily inside.

And the only thing he said was “Trick or Treat”.

The End.

By my older sister Cassandra when she was in elementary school. (Likely 3rd or 4th grade judging by the freshly learned cursive.)

Worth the wait? Haha

Book Hunting

Today I wrangled my mom and little sister into going to a giant book sale in Elora, it wasn’t really hard since they were also very excited about it. I came home with a whopping 31 books! For 33 dollars. Winner winner chicken dinner.

Thank you to my best friend who told me about this sale that happens every year because now we are marking it on our calendars as a ‘Must Do’ every year! Not that we “need” more books, but just that we effin’ love a good bargain especially when it comes to our collections.

Thank you Elora for my new stack of Agatha Christies! I will be having a great mysterious summer!

Here’s what I grabbed:

Frankenstein–Mary Shelley, The Taking–Dean Koontz, Dolores Clairborne–Stephen King, The Pilot’s Wife–Anite Shreve, In The Woods–Tana French, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?–Edward Albee, Three Gothic Novels (which I think I already have a copy), The Burning Wire–Jeffery Deaver, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes–Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Leaven of Malice–Robertson Davies, Dubliners–Jame Joyce, Girl with Green Eyes–Edna O’Brien, Mrs. Dalloway–Virginia Woolf, Grave Secrets–Kathy Reichs (I know I know, masochist!), Big Girl Panties–Stephanie Evanovich, and Agatha Christies: The Secret of Chimneys, The Man in the Brown Suit, The Secret Adversary, Taken at the Flood, The Mirror Crack’d from Side to Side, The Boomerang Clue, Third Girl, At Bertram’s Hotel, The Body in the Library, Hallowe’en Party, The Pale Horse, They Came to Baghdad, and the Adventure of the Christmas Pudding. Not to mention Great Stories by Arthur Conan Doyle, Madame De Pompadour–Nancy Mitford and Doctor Zhivago–Boris Pasternak.

Ton of fun! Can’t wait for next year! I better get reading!!!

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