Biography, Thrift Store Saga

Through the Storm–Lynne Spears

You read that right. I read Britney Spears’ moms book.

The funny thing about that is: 1) I could care less about anything Lynne Spears has to say.
and 2) I found this book in a thrift store (surprise surprise) and found a ticket stub for a flight somewhere with a girls name on it from high school! And it turns out it was her book for real.

Tiny world.

Anyway, this book was the autobiographical musings of Lynne Spears and on Britney’s life and what exactly went down in 2007 when Brit Brit lost her shit shit.

It was actually really nice to read a book from her moms perspective and even though I’ll never know the truth of anything because I don’t actually know this family, it was nice to think that this was all the truth and that her mom was really trying to tell her side.

Overall: good beach book, semi-interesting excerpts from Britney’s life (if you’re a fan that is.), and Mama Spears doesn’t pull any punches. I wouldn’t recommend it outright, but I wouldn’t tell you NOT to read it if you were in the mood for something like it.

You know?

Constant vigilance.



Deranged Duchovny, Random, Thrift Store Saga, True Story

Hallo Everabody!

It’s been awhile, but here’s what’s new on the site:

(Please note, we’re not done making changes, but I missed writing to you so I came back early.)

Obviously the look of the site is new(ish), my friend and collaborator is making us a fresh design for the future but for now we’ll stick with something more colourful!

Now, the big news is that all the pages up at the top where it tells you which genres to look in? And how they have lists of books that I’ve read and/or loved? Now you can click on them to read the past post! Whoohoo! Thank God for Irene, she’s making all sorts of fun changes to the site and hopefully I won’t have to think too hard about much anymore! Haha

Having a minion is great. I feel like Gru. (Hence the accented ‘hello’.)

Story time? Since we haven’t talked in awhile here are the highlights from the last few weeks:

1)Christmas was great, it was nerd Heaven. David Duchovny got a girlfriend. And I have Doctor Who paraphernalia coming out the yin yang.

2)New Years was wonderfully dipped in alcohol and friendship. And poutine. Which is my only real true friend. It was my first New Years since I was a kid that I really participated in. Last year I played Cards Against Humanity with my family and watched my sister cry over her break up. It was just leaking out randomly, it was scary. Very Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I also had my first New Years kiss, which was also alcohol dipped and a peck on the cheek that wasn’t from my dad, although there were whiskers involved. But sweet none the less.

3)I woke up on New Years day with barf down my front and still in my party dress.

4)Fireball is my enemy and I realized yesterday an anagram for Alli Barf. Well, almost, but you get the idea. We’re not friends anymore. Again.

5)I finished writing my own book at 8 pm on New Years Eve! It’s ready to go and be published already after 10 years of an off/on again love affair that usually ends up with me wanting to set it on fire.

6)I finished reading Trainspotting!!!! WAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m not sure what to think of it.

7)I was told that I’m pretty, nice, and have beautiful eyes from a Mexican man that comes into my work and told that he has a son around my age and he’ll bring him back to Vancouver so we can get married. He made me swear that in the next month I won’t marry someone else.

Yeah. Because that’s really going to happen. Unless Rupert shows up. Or Norman Reedus. Or The Rock.

8)Someone donated a mannequin head and told me her name was Daphne.

9)I found a box that contained a baggie of packets of sugar. And condoms. I don’t even want to know where that was going.

10)A German man told me he loves me in Tagalog. (Which is what his Filipino girlfriend speaks. He’s 83.) His girlfriend also slipped me packages of M and Ms like it was a drug deal.

11)I was walking home and walked past a girl wearing an obviously fake moustache like it was nothing. I love her.

12)I was cleaning the store for opening and I heard a clock ticking near my head. Which seemed reasonable because there WAS one by my head…and then I really looked at it and the hands weren’t moving and there were no batteries in it. I’m Captain Hook.

13)I got into a fight with another mirror. This makes the third mirror I’ve broken/killed/lost a fight with. The first when I was playing with a baby and showing him his face and it broke in my hand. The second I kept knocking over and didn’t fully break, but cut my leg on. And now the third which my sister keeps on the counter for plucking her eyebrows and I knocked it over when I got off toilet. Seriously. When you start saying ‘Typical’ when you break a mirror, it’s time to call it quits on being near them.

Okay, I think that’s all the weird and wonderful things. Now I’m going to go bra shopping because Doomsdays chewed all the straps to most of my bras like a goddamn weirdo.

Happy New Year!


Book Hunting, Classic, Poetry, Quotes, Thrift Store Saga

To Say a Little Word…

Here’s Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Ne te quaesiveris extra.”

“Man is his own star, and the soul that can

Render an honest and perfect man,

Command all light, all influence, all fate,

Nothing to him falls early or too late.

Our acts our angels are, or good or ill.

Our fatal shadows that walk by us still.”

Epilogue to Beaumont and Fletcher’s Honest Man’s Fortune. Excerpt from Self-Reliance by R.W. Emerson

This is from that 105 year old book that I found the other day! I love it and can’t wait to finish reading it. So it’s not actually Emerson’s writing, but I like when authors put beautiful stuff from others in their books. Shows you their favourites too.

And Papa loves her poetry.

Thrift Store Saga

Thrift Store Saga

Today was an odd duck of a day.

I officially believe in curses and bad luck. And actually being able to feel the negative energy coming off of a person.

The reason I believe all of is because of three things that happened today:

1)I met a guy that people literally walked away from after they were in his general vicinity. The guy was such a ball of negative energy that every single person that came in contact with him walked right out of the store. I do not possess the kind of magical powers that my boss lady does in order to ferret out what was his deal and try to pull him away from it. So a bunch of people walked out of the store without buying anything because of it. Worst.

2)I was shanked by a mirror. I’ve decided that I’m no longer allowed near mirrors since last month I broke one just by holding it. While I was playing with a baby. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt. This time however I was just walking and sliced my leg on it but didn’t even notice that I had really hurt myself until I was walking around and my hand was wet and I was like What the hell?! Where did this blood come from?!… oh. My leg. Because I’m a jackass. Thank God I didn’t run into the mannequin with the wedding dress on like I’m prone to do. Fool.

3)That mirror is cursed. Or I am. Because when I was carrying it out to price and put away I stubbed my toe on something metal.

Oh, and to top it all off somehow I’m the only person in the store that manages to find porn in the donation boxes. (Ironic, no?) I’ve found nearly five pieces of pornography in different donation piles over the span of the two months I’ve worked there. Not to mention this giant painting of some naked dude on a swing. I don’t know what it is about me, but I think God really enjoys his pervy pranks on me.

After all that some kid and his family come into the store and he manages to find a nerf shotgun that he begs his mother for (he’s got to be at least 10) and proclaims that it’s only two dollars because it was in the bin of things you can fill a bag for two dollars for. He puts a bag on the barrel of the gun and I laugh hysterically because that’s just pure genius and his mother doesn’t notice. Nor did she notice that he donated the change in his pocket to our diabetes jar. Thankfully, after he shot his sister in the butt with it and she ran crying to her mom, his mother did hear him sincerely apologize and tell his sister that he’ll never use it on her again, he’ll use it to protect her.

He actually said the words “I will protect you.” Faith in future generations restored. Even though it took him five minutes to say it because he was laughing really hard at the word “butt”.

Oh! And Alfred and his lady love Amy (I think that’s her name, when he says it it sounds like Raimy) came in and he played me a tune on his harmonica, then the pair go to look at books and I hear him start again. Then he comes out from back there but the music is still playing, and he doesn’t have his harmonica. Dun dun dun.

He tells me it’s Amy on the organ in the back room! It was so beautiful! The pair of them are so talented it was amazing to hear! Then he tells me that some man told him he’d pay him $100 an hour to play the harmonica for cartoon background music and he declined because he was already committed to Amy he didn’t want to be committed to using up that time with some man just for a few bucks.

That’s my saga for the day, it was a good day!

Can’t wait to bust out the moustache bandaids for my leg tomorrow.

Constant vigilance, light and love.

Deranged Duchovny, Thrift Store Saga, True Story

Blurt Alert

Dobby is freeeeeee!!!!

I’m back, I’m back, I’m back. *happy dance*

This week was so lovely and cleansing! Admittedly, I cheated and looked at Facebook and texting because I’m planning a trip home and trying to coordinate with people so it made it difficult to cut it all out completely. BUT I think I busted my addiction to the following things:

Perez Hilton, Goodreads, Pinterest

And to an extent, Facebook, texting, and the constant need to be hilarious via Facebook statuses. But I did miss this site! I had so much to share and I couldn’t/wouldn’t give up on the peace it gave me to take a break!

I had to find new ways to start my morning instead of “reading the morning paper” type stuff, which was reading Perez, looking at dumb stuff on Pinterest, and berating myself for not reading faster and keeping up with my Goodreads weekly quota. We do this thing called Morning Pages, and it’s just writing down whatever comes out of your head when you first wake up. Mine are usually based around what I just dreamed about, how much I suck, what I have to do that day, or any manner of trying to quiet the boohooer in my head so I can enjoy the day. (Personally, I love reading about my dreams instead of the constant berating.)

My journal has new meaning to me now since it was my only form of outlet. I made lists of songs that I was singing to myself, wrote down more things that I was grateful for than just simply people or books, and just used it to dream about life again. (Haven’t done that since I was a kid. It’s normal form is just a worry-holder.)

I’ve lost five pounds this week. I read four books. I listened more. I opened up more to people. I spent so much time with Doomsday I’m sure she wants to kill me. I’ve been eating better and looking after my body more.

I stopped being a complete and utter drone/slave to the internet. AND IT WAS WONDERFUL.

But now I’m back. From outerspace. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.

Such a wonderful week!

And now for the headlines that couldn’t make it onto the interweb for you all to enjoy and commiserate about (In no particular order):

1) I dyed my hair brown and it’s a mess. I miss the blonde already and I’m changing it again tomorrow. Not that you care what I look like just as long as I’m funny. But I care dammit. I look like I have grey in my hair and it’s weird.

2)I’m getting more hours at the thrift store because I’m awesome and they are awesome and they love that I’m growing there and so do I!

3)David Duchovny pinched Doomsdays butt yesterday and she hated it.

4)Throat chakra has been the biggest eye opener for me (after sacral). I’m not a mouse. But tongue exercises are ridiculous and make me feel like a little kid.

5)Texting is a gateway drug.

6)I like laying on my bed in the morning and just thinking after I finish my pages.

7)Tuesdays with Morrie is a beautiful book and we should all read it.

8)I yelled across the street at a lady so that I could take a picture of her dog for my sister. I’ve never spoken to a stranger on the street unless I’ve bumped into them. Making big moves here, people.

9) Janet Evanovichs books are still super funny and I read two this week because I’m a dumby and started reading one and then discovered I hadn’t read the one before that.

10) I’ve missed music most of all. Nothing can replace it when you are sad, happy, scared, or just want to dance. Not even your own voice. (Although singing to myself helped a bit.)

11)My best friends dog died this week and she’ll be greatly missed. I’ve also been likening his pain to that of Frodo’s and I’m genuinely hoping that it’s been helping.

12)I’ve figured out what songs are in my heart and they are all awesome. (The songs that I have memorized are: Home-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Dream a little dream–Mamas and the Papas, U should know better–Robyn feat. Snoop Dogg, My Chick Bad–Ludacris [?], It’s my Life–Bon Jovi, and several, several, Disney songs.)

13)My prom date got engaged this week and that’s fantastic!

14)Piano teacher is coming to perform a show in Vancouver tomorrow and I’m excited/terrified as it’s new and scary and awesome all at the same time.

15)I talked to a lady with dreadlocks yesterday that were all colourful and amazing. Says I could totally have dreadlocks because her hair was just as thin as mine except now it’s just ten years worth of her hair on her head. Contemplating it. (Not really. I’d have short dreads and it would be horrible.)

16)Met an Asian lady who happily bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as her “souvenir” from Vancouver! She bowed to me when I told her it’s one of my favourite books and how much I love it. (Normally I don’t geek out with strangers.)

17)I’m so excited to go home and hug my dogs.

I’m happy it’s over and I’m happy about what I’ve gained from it and what I’ve let go from it. I won’t feel the need to constantly be on the internet or “checking” things just because I’m bored.

This has gotten crazy long, so I’ll leave it that for now! But I’ll update more this week! And you’ll get some quotes tomorrow. 🙂

Love and light and constant vigilance.