Summer Reads

Hello Puny Humans:

I have a pile of reviews building that go as far back as two summers ago. Yeesh.

Here’s the thing with life: Stuff happens to you and then other things are forgotten about.

These books weren’t one of those things, but reviewing them was. Typical me.

But here you go! Time to really start to catch up!

The Single Girl’s To-Do List–Lyndsey Kelk

A decent summer book, I gave it three stars which means it was just good and I would pass it on to someone going on vacation to read at the beach. 

It’s about a make up artist girl who gets dumped and goes on the classic journey of self discovering all people who go through heartbreaking time go through only to make it out on the other side happier and healthier. 

She makes a list of things she always wanted to do while in a relationship but couldn’t because she was being stifled without knowing it. 

The list includes a make over (she always wore leggings and plain t-shirts…nothing wrong with that!), and getting drunk, going on a trip, and other typical things like that that would make a cute Katherine Heigl movie. 

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The Wedding–Nicholas Sparks

When I start reading Nicholas Sparks books I’m always in a mood already. Y’all know what I’m talking about:

You’re looking for a romance but you also know someone is going to fucking eat it in this book in an unexpected way that just makes you mad in the first place because all you were looking for was a fucking romance novel that’s predictable and lovely with a dynamic couple that you just want them to be happy at the end. But no. Nicholas Sparks likes to fuck with us. 

He’s an asshole. 

However, I gave this 4 stars out of 5 which means I absolutely adored this book. Which means (and I can’t actually remember this) someone likely didn’t fucking die at the end in a real weird twist of events! 

So, this is a sequel of sorts to The Notebook (and if you never read that, you should because duh.) and it’s about Allie and Noah’s son Wilson who has let the romance die in his marriage and he didn’t even notice. His daughter is getting married and he’s finally facing the facts of his own marriage. It was a really sweet story, of course, and shows that you can make a comeback even from an indifferent marriage. 

I really liked the message of this book. A lot of people could benefit from this story. 

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Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date–Katie Heaney

This book is very special to me, and I’m betting you can guess why given the title of it. 

I always enjoy when I find fellow “weirdos” or people that I can actually relate to when it comes to stuff like this. 

This book was very well written, and hilarious, and made me feel a lot less isolated in my singledom. I am not alone in this compartment of life and that means so much to me. 

Even if I don’t actually know this person. 

(And if I know for a fact that this woman is now in a committed relationship because I follow her on Instagram haha. They look very happy together by the way! Gives me hope.)

Definitely read this even if you are in a committed relationship because it’s just such a great story/memoir on this woman’s life. And if you don’t know how to commiserate or even understand the single people in your life: this will help. 

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Melissa Explains It All–Melissa Joan Hart

Another unexplainable autobiography that I picked up at a thrift store. 

To be fair though: I was obsessed with Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch when I was younger. 

Always have been dyyyyying for magical powers. Even if it’s not with a wand but with the tip of my finger. 

(That sounded pervy, but you’re with me.) 

Melissa Joan Hart has always been a favourite of mine, I’ve even watched ‘Melissa and Joey’ and genuinely liked it. (I don’t know why I said that like it’s a terrible show. It’s a hilarious and cute show.)

So why would I be like “Why would I read this autobiography?”…probably because I didn’t actually give two rats poops about the actual actresses life. Like I’m happy if she’s happy but I don’t need a background check, you know? 

But here I am. I’ve read the book, read her life, and now I DO give two rat poops about her life. 

Especially since she’s led an interesting and dynamic life. 

Who knew I would care so much that one of her boyfriend was a complete and total asshole? Or how happy I would be when she found the love of her life? Or that her families life would grip me so hard? 

I don’t know who I am anymore. But here we are and I loved the book. Even if you aren’t a fan, it’s an interesting behind the scenes of the movie industry. 

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I Still Shouldn’t Drink While I Read.

Or forget to post things for basically an entire year thus making it impossible for me to review books I read two summers ago.

But here we are.

What to say of these three books? Full Tilt, Full Speed, and Full Blast by Janet Evanovich and Charlotte Hughes.
These stories follow the people of Beaumont, North Carolina. There are twists and turns and fun and sexy men.

What’s not to like?

I always enjoy Janet’s books, but ultimately because they are so airy and easy, I forget them. I just remember this feeling of joy and laughter after they are done.

I definitely recommend them, they are always cute and have great characters in them.

I just forget them once they are done. Fantastic summer beachy books.

Constant vigilance!

 

Full House–Janet Evanovich & Charlotte Hughes

I need you to not judge me about these books.

Well, actually, no I don’t. I found them enjoyable and light and fun. Great summer books, shenanigan type plot, and romance thrown in.

My favourite kind of book!

So the start of this series is written about Billie Pearce, a single, divorced, mother of two, and a polo instructor Nicholas Kaharchek. Billie lets Nicks cousin DeeDee live with her while her kids are away for the summer, and all hell breaks loose.

It was funny and silly and just the kind of thing you need when you are day drinking at the cottage and warm in the sunshine and don’t want too heavy of a plot dragging you down.

That’s my favourite thing about Janet Evanovich books, they are clever while still being readable, and have adventure and thrills without being dragged down by clinical terms or police driven plots, and have romances that feel like that’s how they would actually happen, not the kind where they are running towards each other on a beach. (If that ever did happen you better believe that one of them trips and gets a face full of sand.)

Good old fashioned fun books.

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Happy V-Day!

Okay ladies now let’s get in formation.

Cuz we slay.

Another year single, another year ready for a pringle. Am I right?

Look, there are only so many ways that I can try to make you feel better about being single with me. Over the years I have written about what not to do to your single friends, I’ve given you the option of dating fictional men instead of real men, I’ve sent you a Valentine with David Tennant, I’ve made you collages, I’ve made romantic book lists.

I’m one hell of a Valentine if you ask me. Because for the people I care about I also bake things and drink wine with them and have a Galentine’s day if it’s on a weekend.

Damn. I’m so romantic and I didn’t even notice.

This year though, I thought I would try something different.

Online dating.

JUST KIDDING THAT’S THE WORST. *laugh crying emoji*

Here’s what I would like to say to you this year:

Treat yo self.

That’s right. I’ve decided (since I’ve turned 30 and ain’t nobody putting a ring on this finger any time soon.) that I will date myself, so to speak. In that I now buy myself relatively expensive presents for my big events.

Because I’m going to die alone in a pile of dogs. #livingthedream

This year I have my eye on a sweet purse that has bananas on it. Because I’m an adult.

You know you’re awesome, you have to by now because I’ve been convincing you for years. You hustle like a champ and all the good things will come your way. And if they don’t, then they weren’t meant for you.

Love isn’t something that is to be forced, it will show up when it is meant to happen and the only thing to do in the meantime is live your life the way you want to because someday you’ll be knee deep in a relationship and these days are the ones you’ll look back on and think “Yeah. I set myself up to be who I want to be and that’s what got me here.”

Or you’ll think “Man. I miss when I could sit around with no pants on and I only had to forage for food for one person.” If you’re lucky, your future significant other will also like not wearing pants while watching TV and will be the kind of person who buys surprise pizzas instead of flowers.

Because flowers are the goddamn dumbest thing to bring a person. Stop bringing things home that can die, bring home things we can eat. (I know you feel me ladies!)

Romantic entanglements aren’t the only things that matter in life. You do you girl!

Man, sometimes I get really serious.

Probably because I hate when I chirp myself for being single so I get mad when I think others are doing it to themselves! Good thing I have some friends who are good with throwing encouragement at me like it’s a confetti parade and give me a hard slap of reality when I need it.

Happy Valentines Day you sons of bitches.

Use the search button to find other such inspirational posts from years of yore. It’s worth it. But I’m biased because I wrote them.

Blood Magick–Nora Roberts

Once upon a time I didn’t care for this series. But after the build up of the 2nd book I needed to see how it ended.

Now, as I said, the first character I was introduced to was Iona and she was a chore, it was hard to relate to her.

Then came Meara, tough but loveable, I related to her and what she was fighting for. (Her loved ones.) I got where she was coming from with her avoidance and anger.

Now I read about Branna, the basic Matriarch to the O’Dwyer family in that she is the oldest of the new generation of cousins and in charge of all the plotting, spells, potions, and gathering of information. She’s the brains, brawn, and heart behind the entire operation.

While I can’t completely relate to the burden she bore, I can relate to the fact that she loved someone (Finbar Burke, where the hell does she get these names?)  and then lost them. I can relate to her gruff attitude and pushing people away.

Which is why I delighted in this particular novel. She was great, and her love interest was actually interesting, but it wasn’t forced and it wasn’t annoying to read. It was built up nicely. This is what the first book should’ve been like.

Overall, if you are looking for characters to stick with through a series, it’s not so bad. The story was okay, the writing was okay, just an okay series for the summer.

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Shadow Spell–Nora Roberts

Shadow Spell is from the perspectives of Meara and Connor, Branna’s childhood friend and brother, as they go through the trials of fighting the ancient evil (still don’t remember his name haha) that has plagued the O’Dwyer family for centuries.

I definitely like this one better, I found this pair more realistic than the forced romance of Iona and Boyle.

Meara is a bit of a wild card and Connor isn’t exactly the worlds most consistent person, I just found their friendship and then romance more interesting than the last books.

And the actual plot was carried along nicely and didn’t feel like she was in a rush to give out all the information. Probably because she was in the last one so she could get to the good stuff.

This series definitely grew on me.

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Dark Witch–Nora Roberts

This lovely set of romance novels was from my Grandmother on my last birthday, who said “I thought you would like these. They are about witches and magic. And I’ve heard there’s not much dirty stuff in it. So it’s not weird that I’m giving them to you.”

To which I replied “What’s the point if there is no dirty stuff in them?!”

And she swatted at me and called me a ‘Dirty bird’.

She was right though, they weren’t too dirty.

This one was kind of boring actually. I just wanted them to hump and get it over with!

This is the story of cousins who are fighting an age old demon, curse, and family blight.

Which I actually forget his name. I think it starts with a ‘D’…

Anyway. This book fell flat for me just because I don’t like Iona. (The lead in this novel.) She says everything she thinks and none of it seems too bright. She expects a quiet angry man to just start emoting the second they meet and it just all felt forced, too fast for a relationship, and all around pointless for the plot.
Sure, it’s great to see people fall in love, but I could never tell if this book was taking place over months or weeks, it wasn’t the greatest read.

Saying that, the series DID eventually grow on me.

Tune in next week.

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