Tranny–Laura Jane Grace

It is essential that everyone reads this book. 

If you have transgender friends and want to know more about their struggle of identity: read this book.

If you don’t know anyone who is trans but want to know more about that side of the universe: read this book.

If you like autobiographies: Read this book.

If you like music: Read this book.

If you like Against Me! : Read this book.

If you don’t know who the hell Against Me! is then, you got it: Read this book. 

If you are human and want to human better: Read this book. 

I literally just want to Oprah the hell out of people and go around handing this out. 

Because honest to God: This book is so well written, so poignant for our time, and so touching and honest and brutal, and watching the journey Laura Jane Grace has taken is so raw and beautiful and *mindblown emoji*. 

Now, I’ve never fully listened to Against Me! (at the time and I listened throughout the book as the music was suggested or mentioned by the author and now I am a fan), my friend (who has been a fan for awhile) read this book and it spoke so hard to his soul that if he was a violent man he would’ve thrown it at me and told me to read it. 

Instead he forked it over after adamantly stressing how amazing this book is and then whispered “Goooooo reeeeeeead.” in my ear. 

Okay, he didn’t do that last part. Well, not in my ear anyway, I am a violent person and would’ve punched him for being creepy. 

Anyway. 

I cannot imagine the life and struggle and guilt and relief and stress and secrecy and then finally openness it takes to be a transgender person. They go through so fucking much that I,  as a CIS woman, will never have to go through or fully understand or be able to gage on any sort of yard stick. 

But I can take my white privilege and my CIS privilege and quite frankly, my Canadian privilege, and do better about stepping into someone else’s shoes. I can take the time and see what’s up with other genders and beyond.

I can check in on my fellow humans. 

Because that’s all we all are. A bunch of meat sacks running around trying to figure shit out. 

Laura Jane Grace (and I will continue to use her full name here because she fucking EARNED it.) is a beautiful writer, musician, and human. This book is now a part of my heart and I need it to be a part of others hearts too. 

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Constant vigilance!

Body Positive Power–Megan Jayne Crabbe

I took my sweet time reading this book. I’d say about six months just because I wanted those lessons she was teaching in her book to really sink in. 

Now, I can’t remember word for word what she said, but the feeling of this book really resonates with me even still and I find it has changed my line of thinking.

When I start to talk to myself in a way that I wouldn’t have originally thought of as self deprecating or harmful I catch myself now. 

Why am I bullying myself? You can’t hate yourself into a body you love. 

Which was a big point in her book. 

You can’t be cruel and think you’ll end up happy. You can’t bash yourself and think that’s a form of self love because it’ll get you to a place where you love the end result of all your “hard work”.

But I don’t want my hard work to be a result of me bashing myself or constantly pulling at my body angry that it can’t be different just because I’m willing it to be so.

This is MY body. No one else has this body, so it’s important that I treat her with respect. 

And fuck am I ever happier about that. 

When my brain goes “Ugh. New stretch marks. Way to go fat ass.” I stop that in its tracks and think “So what?”. 

“So what?” is my new key phrase to body positivity. 

So what if I’ve gained weight to the point of new stretch marks. I learned to love the last ones, these new ones can be loved just the same. 

So what if I’ve gained weight at all? That just shows I appreciate food and relaxation. I know I’m not actually a lazy person, I do things ALL the time. I work hard, so I deserve the relaxation and comfort that comes from eating and laying down. 

So what if I eat a bag of chips in one sitting? I was fucking hungry to the point of inhaling it. I obviously NEEDED food.

I’m learning to listen to my body more. Not intuitive eat as a way of dieting. I will no longer diet. I’m done with that. (Hell yeah!) I will listen to my body on what foods it agrees with and which foods it craves. (And sometimes that craving is a goddamn apple! Who knew!!!) 

I want to get back to a place where I move my body for the joy of moving my body. Like when you’re a kid and you run because you love that feeling of being free and the wind whipping through your hair. 

And so what if I get winded halfway down the driveway. I can be breathless for the joy of it! 

I don’t want to punish my body into a body worth having. I want to enjoy the body I have because it was worth having all along. 

All the shapes and sizes I have been get a colossal “So what?”. 

So what, that was Past Alli. Present Alli isn’t too concerned about what size of pant she is wearing.

So what, that was Past Alli. Present Alli doesn’t want to give anymore energy or wasteful thought tangents on where her body SHOULD be. Instead living in the body I have now and being grateful that I am who I am and no one else is like me. 

So what if someone else bashes their body? Not only will I not internalize it to the point of thinking “Does that person think I’m fat and hideous because they think THEY are fat and hideous?” I will stop THEM in their tracks and tell them to stop talking to my friend like that. 

This book is so fucking important for all communities. It’s not only about body positivity and how Megan got to where she is, it’s about facts and figures and LGBTQ etc things, it’s about able bodied people (which is everyone. We all have bodies that are able to do stuff.) and it’s about how we value self worth. 

It’s so important. 

And so what if I don’t look like the girls in the magazines? 

We’ve risen up so much the girls in the magazines have come out to say “Me either.” 

Fuck I love this book. 

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Happy 8 Year Anniversary!

Holy crap.

I just got a notification from WordPress congratulating me on 8 years of writing on this blog.

8 years I’ve spent writing about books I’ve loved or hated, personal stories of triumph or failure, love and loss, book hunting, Keep Moving Forwards, True Story Tuesdays, or To Say a Little Words.

8 years of my life.

An inconsistent 8 years of writing on here, but still! That’s bananas.

So thank you all who have stuck with me, who have appreciated the posts, who have reached out to tell me how hilarious I am. I have a small fanbase, but I still appreciate it and am so grateful.

Here’s to you all! For putting up with my nonsense, my wisdom, my lies about when I’ll be posting, my long stretches of going MIA, and the grappling I do with books on a daily basis.

Here’s to books! Without them I would’ve beheaded someone a long time ago.

Constant vigilance!

I, Bificus–Bif Naked

Oh Biffy. 

What has happened to you. 

All the things. All the good and all the bad. And all the in-between things. 

I’ve loved Bif since I was teeny little preteen and so much of my early teens was filled with her music. And I’m so glad to finally read her words on the things that happened to her. 

And SOooooooOOooooo much happened to her. 

Fuck. 

Just read this. It’s so goddamn good that I have no words for how good it is. 

I’ve literally tried to write extra paragraphs about it but I honestly have zero words. Just a feeling about this book. Like I want to grab her close and squeeze her tight.

So many bad things happen to people (duh) and she got more dollops than I have that’s for sure. Which makes me always feel like that Lady Gaga song “Come to Mama”.

Come to Mama. Tell me who hurt ya .

Constant vigilance.

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The Rules According to JWowW–Jenni Farley

Guys…I know you know me in a sense. You know I read these types of books out of sheer curiosity and a sickness that I can only justify as “I need to know why this person thinks they can write a book and how on earth did it get published and who the hell reads this and takes this seriously and oh my god am I that person? No. No I’m not that person, I have a good head on my shoulders, I know this is pure nonsense. Everything will be fine. This is just a trashy summer book.”

Well fuck was I wrong.

I’ll admit it, as we all should: I judge books by their cover.

Just books, not people calm down.

Except…this books cover is a picture of JWowW dressed like a sexy teacher so maybe I was judging her a bit.

Except…that I kind of love everything she is about in real life.

Okay, now you’re just judging me. Ah well! She’s a no-nonsense mom who loves her body,  who can argue with that? (Especially since she’s definitely the type of person who would clock you. I’ve seen it. On tv. I watch Jersey Shore. OH SHUT UP OKAY.)

Anyway. This book was surprising! Because it wasn’t pure trash. It wasn’t like the dumb and painful Situations book. It wasn’t a trashy summer book written about two girls on the Jersey Shore like Snooki’s.

The cover leads you to believe it’ll be just about sex. You would think that she would give advice about like…boning and you’re done.

But in reality, she gave sound advice on how to treat people like people and with respect and how to behave in a relationship. And how NOT to talk to people like an asshole. It was really nice actually.

You would never get that given the cover, but I’m actually glad that I read this.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.

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Happy V-Day!

Okay ladies now let’s get in formation.

Cuz we slay.

Another year single, another year ready for a pringle. Am I right?

Look, there are only so many ways that I can try to make you feel better about being single with me. Over the years I have written about what not to do to your single friends, I’ve given you the option of dating fictional men instead of real men, I’ve sent you a Valentine with David Tennant, I’ve made you collages, I’ve made romantic book lists.

I’m one hell of a Valentine if you ask me. Because for the people I care about I also bake things and drink wine with them and have a Galentine’s day if it’s on a weekend.

Damn. I’m so romantic and I didn’t even notice.

This year though, I thought I would try something different.

Online dating.

JUST KIDDING THAT’S THE WORST. *laugh crying emoji*

Here’s what I would like to say to you this year:

Treat yo self.

That’s right. I’ve decided (since I’ve turned 30 and ain’t nobody putting a ring on this finger any time soon.) that I will date myself, so to speak. In that I now buy myself relatively expensive presents for my big events.

Because I’m going to die alone in a pile of dogs. #livingthedream

This year I have my eye on a sweet purse that has bananas on it. Because I’m an adult.

You know you’re awesome, you have to by now because I’ve been convincing you for years. You hustle like a champ and all the good things will come your way. And if they don’t, then they weren’t meant for you.

Love isn’t something that is to be forced, it will show up when it is meant to happen and the only thing to do in the meantime is live your life the way you want to because someday you’ll be knee deep in a relationship and these days are the ones you’ll look back on and think “Yeah. I set myself up to be who I want to be and that’s what got me here.”

Or you’ll think “Man. I miss when I could sit around with no pants on and I only had to forage for food for one person.” If you’re lucky, your future significant other will also like not wearing pants while watching TV and will be the kind of person who buys surprise pizzas instead of flowers.

Because flowers are the goddamn dumbest thing to bring a person. Stop bringing things home that can die, bring home things we can eat. (I know you feel me ladies!)

Romantic entanglements aren’t the only things that matter in life. You do you girl!

Man, sometimes I get really serious.

Probably because I hate when I chirp myself for being single so I get mad when I think others are doing it to themselves! Good thing I have some friends who are good with throwing encouragement at me like it’s a confetti parade and give me a hard slap of reality when I need it.

Happy Valentines Day you sons of bitches.

Use the search button to find other such inspirational posts from years of yore. It’s worth it. But I’m biased because I wrote them.

Work it Out Wednesday

Hello fellow humans:

As you may have noticed (if you follow my Instagram stories or have seen me try to sit in a chair lately without making a sound) I have started the process of working out again.

Ugh. I’d be super annoyed, but I do this to myself. I genuinely forget to look after my own body because I spend my entire day worrying about someone else’s and then when I go home I’m too tired to do much of anything besides watch something on Netflix while I sew things for other people.

My body is one of the most neglected things in my life. Besides I guess my love life. But that’s a whole other story.

Anyway, once again, in an attempt to hold myself accountable I will be crying to you every Wednesday now in my newest series “Work it Out Wednesdays” where I will update my progress and talk about my new boyfriends.

Yes, that’s plural. And a joke.

My new boyfriends are my “trainer” John and Sam Heughan. You read that second name right. The guy who plays Jamie Fraser on ‘Outlander’. They have a program called ‘My Peak Challenge’ and they set you up for the whole year of meal planning and working out, including videos where you get to see Sam teasing John while they work out. It’s magical.

Especially since they are both Scottish, so it’s nice to listen to as well.

My progress report this week is: I’m sore, but it’s not too bad. And I actually look forward to working out every evening now because it’s a plan, and it’s for me. One of the only things I do that’s 100% for me. Which is nice. I’ve been holding onto my New Years Resolutions. I’ve faltered twice in one thing (which is the Tim Hortons, but I didn’t buy it, someone else did for me and I needed to see my friend and that’s literally the only place open passed 10 pm around here. And the kid didn’t eat his donut, and I was super hungry…) and a handful of times in the other (the piano, I can’t seem to find the right time to practice, so I’m moving the piano to the basement today in hopes of getting over my fear of playing with other people in the house.) and besides that I’ve stayed off the scale, which has been lovely. I’m not beating myself up every day three times a day.

I’ve also managed to not go on a diet, which has also felt great! I’m eating better and there’s not so much pressure to be perfect at something.

Anyway, I have to get to work, but I hope you are all having a great week and keeping hold of your resolutions!

(Also, my ‘Be kinder’ one needs some work. But hey, it’s a work in progress and that’s okay.)

Constant vigilance, keep moving forward!