Keep Moving Forward, Love Story, romance novels, True Story

Happy V-Day!

Okay ladies now let’s get in formation.

Cuz we slay.

Another year single, another year ready for a pringle. Am I right?

Look, there are only so many ways that I can try to make you feel better about being single with me. Over the years I have written about what not to do to your single friends, I’ve given you the option of dating fictional men instead of real men, I’ve sent you a Valentine with David Tennant, I’ve made you collages, I’ve made romantic book lists.

I’m one hell of a Valentine if you ask me. Because for the people I care about I also bake things and drink wine with them and have a Galentine’s day if it’s on a weekend.

Damn. I’m so romantic and I didn’t even notice.

This year though, I thought I would try something different.

Online dating.

JUST KIDDING THAT’S THE WORST. *laugh crying emoji*

Here’s what I would like to say to you this year:

Treat yo self.

That’s right. I’ve decided (since I’ve turned 30 and ain’t nobody putting a ring on this finger any time soon.) that I will date myself, so to speak. In that I now buy myself relatively expensive presents for my big events.

Because I’m going to die alone in a pile of dogs. #livingthedream

This year I have my eye on a sweet purse that has bananas on it. Because I’m an adult.

You know you’re awesome, you have to by now because I’ve been convincing you for years. You hustle like a champ and all the good things will come your way. And if they don’t, then they weren’t meant for you.

Love isn’t something that is to be forced, it will show up when it is meant to happen and the only thing to do in the meantime is live your life the way you want to because someday you’ll be knee deep in a relationship and these days are the ones you’ll look back on and think “Yeah. I set myself up to be who I want to be and that’s what got me here.”

Or you’ll think “Man. I miss when I could sit around with no pants on and I only had to forage for food for one person.” If you’re lucky, your future significant other will also like not wearing pants while watching TV and will be the kind of person who buys surprise pizzas instead of flowers.

Because flowers are the goddamn dumbest thing to bring a person. Stop bringing things home that can die, bring home things we can eat. (I know you feel me ladies!)

Romantic entanglements aren’t the only things that matter in life. You do you girl!

Man, sometimes I get really serious.

Probably because I hate when I chirp myself for being single so I get mad when I think others are doing it to themselves! Good thing I have some friends who are good with throwing encouragement at me like it’s a confetti parade and give me a hard slap of reality when I need it.

Happy Valentines Day you sons of bitches.

Use the search button to find other such inspirational posts from years of yore. It’s worth it. But I’m biased because I wrote them.

Classic

The Roald Dahl Collection

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Admittedly, I didn’t know Roald Dahl even wrote this. I thought it came from the likes of someone with a twisted mind like Tim Burton.

Well, given what his other books, I wasn’t totally wrong.

This book was good, but had some serious darkness in it. I didn’t like reading to the kid that the foxes were trapped at one point and that the evil farmer was trying to basically set them on fire.

Not exactly kid friendly those bits.

Plus the foxes were starving to death at one point I think.

It’s okay though, they build a small society with their other animal friends.

I don’t 100% remember this book, so maybe read it before you read it to your kid.

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Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

I didn’t know this book existed. This follows Charlie, his grandfather, and Willy Wonka on their adventure after they burst through the roof.

There’s probably a reason why I never knew this existed, and that’s because it turns a little sci-fi on us and moves away from the classic Chocolate Factory aspect of things.

They end up going through space, then nearly being gunned down by the army, and a whole slew of misadventures.

It was still cute, but not as good as the first, which is probably why he never revisited these characters again.

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The Magic Finger

Another weird one for the record books. But only in that it had an odd magical element, nothing truly creepy or life threatening could come of this one. It was just about a little girl who was mad at the neighbours for hunting and turned them into birds.

It was okay.

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The Twits

Have you had enough of my non-review reviews? Have you had enough of Roald Dahl?

Me too.

I’ve heard about this book for awhile, it’s noted as one of his best, and I can’t agree on that. I definitely enjoyed Matilda and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory better. Hell, I enjoyed The Witches better.

The Twits was good in that it was odd, but that’s where it ended. I didn’t like them at all (I’m guessing you weren’t supposed to) and I can’t stand books where it’s teaching kids new ways to be bad.

But then again, I guess it’s also teaching kids what retaliation is for when you ARE bad. Because there’s a monkey uprising in this.

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Danny the Champion of the World

I love a good gypsy story, but I think I’m just on the outs with Roald Dahl at this point. Reading the entire collection he has to a kid over the span of months is really daunting if you find some of his stories to be flipping weird.

On the one hand, this story was sweet because it was about a father and son, how they plot ways to get back at a mean man, but on the other hand: I can’t read anymore of these books.
Yeesh. Maybe it’s just the way I perceive them, maybe other people see the good parts where the villain is conquered, but I just see these books as a ‘How-to’ on misbehaviour.

I think I’m turning into an adult.
It’s finally happening. Oh God. Help me.

I bet I would’ve loved these books as kids! To see adults get their comeuppance for keeping the kids spirits down! But as an adult I can’t help thinking what little brats some of the kids in these stories are.

Anyway…. this wasn’t the worst of them. I’d say you could read this to your kid, no matter what age.

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So that’s the last of the Roald Dahl! Next week will be back to regular programming!

(Especially since the kid wants me to sing to him at naptime instead of read to him.)

Constant vigilance!

Fiction, Teen

Ballroom Blitz

I’ve been pretty busy these last few mon–years. Things have gotten out of control and I’m only JUST starting to patch things together to make them workable.

One of those things being writing “reviews”, which at this point they are more or less just blurbs on like “Read it if you feel like it” and “HOLY HELL THIS BOOK WAS AMAZING”. Either way, things have gotten pretty laissez-faire around here. Which was my whole life until I realized that I needed to pull myself together because I’m reviewing books from last summer and I have no clue what to write about them.

Which is why I labelled this segment: Ballroom Blitz.

Because I’m going to throw a bunch of tentatively labelled “reviews” at you.

Bunheads–Sophie Flack

‘Bunheads’ was on my summer reading list last year it was a nice beach book for sure.

Not intense in content, but still a decent story and plot. It’s about ballerinas, one in particular, and you follow their story of competitiveness, heartbreak, life, and their need to dance.

It was really well written (unlike these reviews), and I look forward to finding something else of hers in the future.

Definitely take this on a trip with you.

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The Invisible Ones–Stef Penney

This book was pretty decent given that I didn’t know what I was walking into. The plot centres around gypsies and their lifestyle, but only because one of them goes missing and a cop is trying to suss out what happened.

It was well written and I look forward to reading some of the authors others books.

I liked reading about gypsies, and I enjoyed the characters and the plot twists.

Definitely a good mystery for anyone looking for one.

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The Night We Said Yes–Lauren Gibaldi 

This book was sent in one of my OwlCrate boxes, I was interested in reading it since it was all about how these people spent a night (you guessed it) saying ‘Yes’ to everything.

It was a silly story and definitely more for teens than even Young Adults. I’m neither, but still, it should’ve had a little more juice to it. It barely had any meat on its bones, and it was the first book from OwlCrate that I was really really disappointed in.

Handed it off to head to a thrift store. Hopefully some tween will enjoy it more than I did.

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Next week will focus solely on Roald Dahl’s works.

Constant vigilance!

 

Work it Out

Work It Out

Good morning!

Last month whizzed by and now here I am on the first of February thinking about what my new goals will be for the month. Because part of my New Year Resolution is to make new goals every month.

January goals went pretty well! I kicked my Tim Hortons habit! (Bye bye French Vanillas! *sobs*) I started a new workout regime to get to my newest goal: Fit into my Maid of Honour dress. I’ve been eating better, and better still, not getting on the scale three times a day to see if the salad I just ate made me lose ten pounds magically.

Now, since today is the beginning of a fresh month I’ve decided that I will weigh myself once a month now instead of every day to watch my progress.

Turns out: That was stupid of me.

I’ve been feeling really great in my body, I’ve been having less stomach problems, I’ve got more energy, feeling really great, feeling like I don’t really NEED the homemade cappuccinos anymore (even if they are only 90 calories). Just all around kicking ass!

Until I stepped on the scale. I haven’t lost any weight. At all. Which really bums me out because I SWEAR I was thinning out around my middle. I just had a mini flip out because WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS FOR IF I’M NOT LOSING WEIGHT WILL I FIT INTO MY DRESS WILL I EVER GET THE BODY I DREAM ABOUT HOW COME NO ONE LOVES ME IS IT BECAUSE I’M THIS GIANT PIECE OF —-

Whoa Nelly. Look, progress reports are important when you are trying to hit a goal. But to get on the scale and start berating myself after an entire month of happy happy joy joy was really surprising. I thought that I would be like “Ah well, better luck next month!” get off the scale and go about my day. But instead I was thrown back into an old habit and worse, an old way of thinking.

So my goals for this month are: Be kinder. (Yes, that’s the same as last month and should always be a goal.) Change my way of thinking of my body. Treat myself better. No scale until March 1st. Doing something nice for someone. Learn to say ‘No’ to things. (That’s a big one, I’m not what you would call well off financially and I keep saying ‘Yes’ to things I shouldn’t.) Stand up for myself at least once this month. And as ever: Practice piano.

That one is actually proving to be the hardest to get to.

Anyway, if you are wondering what my work out regime is currently, you can find it here:

MyPeakChallenge

I’m finding it to be so unbelievably doable, especially for anyone with a sedentary job or is new to working out. I also like that there is no “30 Day to a New You!” tag on it or anything like that. It’s a year long program that’s suppose to help you reach your own goals.

And it’s run by hot Scottish guys, so there’s that. I’m talking Sam Heughan from ‘Outlander’ is part of it. And it’s so nice to not be yelled at while working out, even from a video. Like they are laughing sometimes. Which makes me laugh! I love that!

Anyway, follow me on Instagram if you want to watch my stories on this program unfold.

It’s mostly me laying on a mat sweating my balls off praying to Beyonce to help me.

Keep moving forward!

 

Classic, Kids Books

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory–Roald Dahl

Contrary to what I’ve been writing about Roald Dahl’s books on here (those were the questionable ones to be sure) I do actually enjoy his writing. It is not really for toddlers, but I should’ve probably knew they weren’t going to be. My bad.

However, this book was totally lovely! Just as I remember it.

Funny story: One of my cousins that I look after, his school makes it mandatory to go to the library (as they should) and one day they were having a Free Books day for the old books to leave the school. Everyone got to take home whatever they wanted. He chose ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’. It was busted and old and has an old school hardcover.

He thought it was really cool that there was even a library card in the back with all these peoples names on them.

I read through them and realized not only did I start recognizing the names of some of the students, but I recognized their handwriting! Some of the names it was hard not to given that they had written down their quite obvious nicknames. And in between all those was a name written in in pencil:

“Allison”. Full with the funny ‘A’ I used to do and my attempt at cursive.

I had read that book when I was his age and now he was holding a piece of my history. How weird is that? Weird and cool.

Anyway, THIS is a safe book to read to your kids. It’s just as sweet as we remember and quirky too. Definitely pass this one down, or snuggle up with your kids for it.

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