Lean Mean Thirteen–Janet Evanovich

I’ve been through a lot with these characters. 13 books worth! Jeez Louise. Clearly you should be reading them.

   In all honesty, with the high stakes game that I play on Good Reads, these short and sweet books are my pinch hitters, my cheat sheets, and my all around sneaky sneaks when I’m falling behind.

   Okay, so I’m really only trying to beat my book count from last year (80 books) with a whopping five extra books. But these really help. Especially when you add on books like A Feast for Crows that take a million years to read and put you behind eight books!

…Anyway. This book is all about how Stephanie’s ex-husband and all around scumbag extraordinaire, Dickie Orr has gone missing. And since Stephanie attacked him the day before, she’s suspected in his disappearance and possible murder.

Pretty funny, as always.

Psycho: Ed Gein–Paul Anthony Woods

It’s pretty much a given that when anyone talks about Ed Gein I get shivers up my spine. I have a strong aversion to murderers and serial killers.

But I have this sickness where I need to read about them. I need to know what makes these people tick…how to spot them…I think my subconscious is trying to make me into a criminal profiler.

I watch Bones too often and I have a thing for Dr. Sweets.

Where was I going with this?

Anyway.

Ed Gein, serial killer who made lampshades and belts out of body parts. Lived in filth (with bones and parts everywhere all over the floor) and was considered a simpleton by people in his town.

This is why I trust no one.

Thankfully this book was short, but there was something other than the obvious real life story that happened here that creeped me the hell out. It’s a picture that is in the books that really got to me. I can’t get it out of my head. It makes me pained and angry just to think about it.

It’s a picture of Bernice Worden. Just talking about it makes me want to cry.

Gein had strung her up upside down like a pig in his shed and cut her from vagina right down to her chest. It is understandably the most gruesome thing I’ve ever seen and I can’t believe that her living relatives (if there are any, even if they didn’t know her personally) would allow this to be put into a book.

I was just reading along and turned the page and was immediately traumatized by this image.

I’ll never get it out of my head and I so wish that I could. (I folded the paper over with a warning so if my siblings were to read this book they wouldn’t be shocked and would have time to prepare.)

I can’t tell you if you should read this book. It was well written, but the subject is grossly disturbing.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde–R.L. Stevenson

I’m going to start off by saying that I really did like this book. I’m a fan of Robert Louis Stevenson and really enjoy his writing style.

However, this was definitely not my favourite of his. I enjoyed reading the story about how this book came to be far more than the actual story. (He dreamt it and then spent days with pen to paper, then scrapped the entire thing and started again.)

We all know the premise of this book is that this man is two-sided, two-faced, one the kind and respectable Dr. Jekyll, the other the more sinister murderous Mr. Hyde. I really thought this book would keep my interest peaked longer than it did.

Guaranteed it was scary for the time, but it didn’t hold up to my warped brain and took awhile to get into.

I was pleased where it went and glad that I read it, but it didn’t really leave as big a mark as I thought it would.

Three to get Deadly–Janet Evanovich

 This time around Stephanie is on the hunt for a sweetheart old ice cream parlor/candy shop owner. (He was carrying a concealed weapon like most people in Stephanie’s neighbourhood and was dinged by a newbie cop.)

More Lula, more Joe Morelli, more explosions, and tons of dead drug dealers.

This girl is an accidental hit in the bounty hunter business and she just cracks me up.

There’s not much more I can say on this one, but just for the sidekicks alone, which include her hilarious and super old grandmother who goes to funerals like they are reunion parties, this series is awesome.

Two for the Dough–Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum again. Love her. Addicted to her. Still falling off things and getting her car blown up.

I can’t believe I haven’t heard of this series until Katherine Heigl was in a damn movie about it! (Haven’t seen the movie, just for the record.)

In this book we (thankfully) get to be friends with Lula, the hooker that has become like Stephanies sidekick. Lula is handsdown my favourite character.

She’s big, black, and dyes her hair every colour under the sun. Not to mention she drives a bitchin’ car and is super rough around the edges to the point where she is hysterically funny.

I’m Lula without the big, black or hooker part.

This one was just as good as the first. They just keep getting better!

One for the Money–Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum was in lingerie. Uhh…that sounded awkward. The lingerie buying business is what I meant to write.

Anyway, turns out girl gets laid off and has to start working for her cousin Vinnie as a bounty hunter.

Stephanie reminds me of my sister. Tall, big boobs, falls over a lot. Definitely my sister.

Not to mention she has a foul mouth and a penchant for getting into weird situations.

Needless to say, I found this book hilarious. So hilarious I bought the next six. Read it when you are in the need for a laugh and a good old fashion non-romance with Joe Morelli. (Hunky dirtbag cop-friend of hers. I love him.)

Poppy Done to Death–Charlaine Harris

Holy infidelity Batman! Chockerbock FULL of skankiness this book was extremely well plotted and enjoyable.

  Aurora’s sister in law gets murdered and lucky her, she finds her dead body. After that Aurora finds out that Poppy and her husband John David basically have a horrendous marriage where they are consistently cheating on each other and mistreating one another…John David is missing when Poppy’s body is found and it’s a great concern to everyone.

 The only one thinking he is the murderer is Aurora though and she sets out to find him. This book brought in a bunch of new characters that were all enjoyable and it brought back a few old ones, that of Auroras brother Phillip and Robin Crusoe.

This book had me deeply confused as to who the killer could be! There were so many wounded spouses and girlfriends/boyfriends and people who are just self righteous and think their way is the only way to live, it was just spectacularly complicated and had me guessing through the whole thing.

  I’m hoping she writes more because this character isn’t done and there has to be more to the story!!!

 And I’m off to ‘google’ it. It was a great couple of weeks reading these and I’m happily  moving on to the new Sookie Stackhouse book, also by Charlaine Harris.

Last Scene Alive–Charlaine Harris

Hunky writer Robin Crusoe is back. He wrote about his adventures with Aurora in the first book and they are now being made into a movie. The problem is…the lead actress who was going to play Aurora’s character was bludgeoned to death with an Emmy.

  Aurora and Robin reunite in order to figure out whodunit.

  After a traumatic year the last thing Aurora needs is another guy after her, Arthur Smith hasn’t let up, and she really can’t take it anymore. Forget Southern hospitality, she’s just plain rude to him at this point.

 Which is nice and about time.

       This one got a little dirty, I won’t lie to you, I nearly peed my pants laughing when I got to it and I hysterically laughed for ten minutes. The rest was not as chuckle inducing, but it was a good read and I liked the ending.

 She introduces some extra characters that I’m sure will be in the next book and I can’t wait to find out what happens.

 On to Poppy Done to Death! (Last one and I’ll be heartbroken…)

A Fool and His Honey–Charlaine Harris

Aurora and her husband Martin are going through a tiny rough patch. They don’t see each other as often as they would like but are going to try and make the effort.

 Then Martins niece Regina shows up with her baby…her baby that no one knew she had or even know that she was pregnant with. Regina is acting all kinds of weird and offhand about it, but Aurora just chalks that up to Regina being slightly dimwitted.

 Until Regina goes missing, the baby is found under a bed and Regina’s husband, Craig, is dead on the stairs with a hatchet in his forehead.

  I really liked this one because it mixed things up a bit and you really don’t see the end coming. But you have to wonder…what kind of bad luck does this girl have that she is constantly in the middle of these things?

 You can tell  that I am in love with this series. But I’ll also be happy to move on. Too much time with the same characters can grow frustrating…but I’m glad that I took the time to read all of these. They are great books and easy and fun.

Dead Over Heels

What has Aurora done to deserve such a life full of death? Apparently someone is out to get her (again) and they are doing some super creepy things to get her attention.

 She’s getting those weird phone calls where you know someone is on the other line, her cat shows up with a ribbon around its neck when Madeleine is anything but a friendly cat, her ex-boyfriend gets stabbed, her assistant gets bludgeoned and it all seems a little too close to home.

 Especially the cat thing.

      This one was a little different from all the others. You see Roe and Martin settle into their married life and Roe ends up hanging out with one of her bodyguards more. Angel Youngblood is there for all the incidents and Roe suspects that someone is obsessed with Angel. Who wouldn’t be in love with a statuesque blond that has legs for days?

Oh yeah, and there’s the minor business of Detective Sergeant Jack Burns, who is not a huge fan of Roe, falling out of a plane and landing in her yard.

 Well. I thoroughly have been enjoying reading these books, this one had me far more confused as to who was doing these things and why. But as always she ties it all together in a neat little package at the end.

 Read. These. Books