The Sandcastle Empire–Kayla Olsen

I needed some young adult in my life after reading Lolita. 

WHOOOOOAAAA what a horrible way to phrase that.

And yet I left it so you could read it and be mortified with me and for me. 

You’re welcome.

Anyway: I love YA novels that have heart. And murder. Lots and lots of murder. And mystery. But mostly murder.

Is something wrong with me? Who knows. But this book was SO. DAMN. GOOD.

This book is about how Eden who had a pretty good life (talking good parents, nice house, just above middle class upbringing) until the revolution happened and then she was left with only a handful of relics and clues from her dad about where a secret island is. That which is a sanctuary to all those who reach it. Far from the horrible daily grind of living in a hellish world.

This book was part thriller, part female empowerment, and part suspense.

And I believe there was a hot ginger in there somewhere that had me happily trailing along through this book.

Read this if you were into The Hunger Games. Because it’s sort of like that but somehow more mature? I don’t know.

Can’t wait to read more! 

Constant vigilance!

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Slaughterhouse-Five–Kurt Vonnegut

I’m notorious for not liking classics at this point, yes? 

This one also joins the 3-star club. 

I’m also notorious for just blindly walking into a book instead of reading the dust jacket. 

Let me tell you what I thought this book was about.

Based off the title alone I thought this was about five people who survived some sort of grisly event in a slaughterhouse. My mind immediately thought: Holocaust. Because this just LOOKS like a book my friend would suggest and he always suggests Holocaust books to me because he likes to devastate my soul at least once a year. 

All I remember from this book is that I get a twitch from the sentence “So it goes.” now. 

What is this book actually about? 

The Holocaust. And the Dresden bombings. And so, so much more. Like alien abductions. 

The timeline goes back and forth and up and down and the main character Billy has PTSD and he gets married and has kids and travels back in time and yes. That’s the book. 

I read this back in January 2018 because I wanted to start the year off with a classic. I didn’t fully believe this was going to be about something so dreary. I’m always getting tricked into reading about the Holocaust. 

Even by me.

Go figure I start the year off with an event I hate reading in books because I’ve visited the Dachau concentration camp and my soul wants to throw up every time I think about it. 

And the books title is because it’s about POWs being held in a slaughterhouse…labeled ‘Slaughterhouse Five’. 

So I wasn’t totally off. 

Constant vigilance.

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The Long Hard Road Out of Hell–Marilyn Manson

“What the fuck did I get myself into?”

This is the thought that came up the most when I read this book. 

Look, I know who Marilyn Manson is. I’ve heard some of his music, I’ve read stories about what the fuck he gets into. I know he has beef with Justin Beiber about some t-shirts. 

I don’t know why I know that but I do. 

I know he was married to Dita Von Teese (who I adore.), dated Rose McGowan, and that he’s in general a pretty fucking weird guy. 

I didn’t realize how gross he was. 

This book was traumatizing in its brilliance, but also just gross because of gross things he did. He would scare me every other page with a startling pictures. Which I’m betting was the point. This guy is smart as hell and clever as a whip. And yes, for a while he was using his powers for evil and not good. But he took a long journey back to us (I’m sure he would resent that statement. Because who is “us”? The human race?)  and he’s finally becoming a human being. 

I think.

I don’t know.

This book was super messed up. His stories of his golden ages were really fucked up. As one would expect. 

And then he would hit you with a story of how it hurts that people would harm themselves or others in his name. And you’re like ‘You poor soul, let me hold you.”. 

Really think about it before you read this book. I didn’t . And I’m both worse and better for it.

It was intelligently thought out and executed in it’s contrasting unnerving you and making you love him at the same time.  

Constant vigilance.

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Kitchen Confidential–Anthony Bourdain

This brass mother effer is hilarious. If you are in any sort of cooking circle then you have heard of this book. He writes about his life and the behind the scenes of working in a kitchen. He even gives some helpful hints and recipes. Just youtube his current show ‘No Reservations’ and you’ll see how funny he is.