This is Me–Chrissy Metz

Classic. After I said I was going to write every day I immediately forgot and here we are four days later.

But here we go.

SPOILERS TO “THIS IS US” FIRST SEASON. 

Now, I knew I was going to like this book immediately because I really like Chrissy Metz as a human. (Not that I know her in real life. What an assumption I made based off of interviews and the like!)

I’ll admit that I don’t fully like her character in This Is Us and it’s because of one thing. 

After her father went back into their burning house and saved her dog because she was losing her mind crying because the dog was stuck and dying, she did something unforgivable. 

(Hello. Who WOULDN’T be LOSING THEIR SHIT AT THAT. I would’ve gone back in for my dog in a HEARTBEAT.) 

After Jack dies: SHE STARTS HATING ON HER DOG.

EXCUSE YOU!!! 

Your dog didn’t kill him. Don’t you dare pin that on a dog! It was just a horrible circumstance. 

If my dad died saving my dog I would be like YOU’RE A HERO JOE. AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR SAVING MY SWEET ANGEL DEXTER. AND I WOULD LOVE THAT DOG MORE BECAUSE MY DAD SAVED HER FOR ME AND I WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS BLAME A DOG FOR THE DEMISE OF MY FATHER.

Unless Dexter tripped him on the way out the door and somehow kicked it behind her and my dad got trapped and burned to death.

THEN I would probably be like “Damn it Goose you fluffy adorable murderer.” (We call Dexter ‘Goose’ because she gooses your bum when you come in the door like a perverted old man.)

Wait. I’m supposed to be talking about a book. Not why I don’t like Kate. Or at least, teenage Kate. 

THIS BOOK WAS LOVELY.

It gives you the feels. It makes you feel like you have a comrade in arms. It makes you feel like you aren’t alone in feeling like you are a fat piece of trash and then she lifts you right back up to show you how you are BEAUTIFUL and MAJESTIC and everything is just as it should be. No matter what size you are you are fucking amazing. You hear me?!

Chrissy’s writing was full of heart and kindness, and past self-deprecation and it was lovely.

Plus I love seeing women living their dreams on their terms and how they became that way.

She is a fucking star and amazing. 

But teenage Kate can get bent. Ya hear me?

Constant vigilance.

chrissy

Hot Six–Janet Evanovich

Who did our friend Stephanie choose after nearly getting hot and heavy with both Ranger and Joe Morelli?

Well, you find out in this book. Thank GOD! I was practically threw the fifth book across the room in order to get at this one!

Anyway, so Steph’s newest FTA is her friend Carol who would really like to die instead of going to jail. (Girl keeps trying to jump of bridges and shit! She’s insane!)

Stephanie somehow ends up with even more sidekicks in this besides Grandma Mazur, Lula and Sally. An incontinent dog named Bob shows up (really not surprising it’s got pooping issues when she’s feeding it bucket chicken.) and stays awhile.

The twist in this book?

Ranger is the current FTA that Stephanie has to find.

That dude is like the wind, she has no hope in finding him and doesn’t even WANT to find him and turn him in.

These books get better and better and I think I like this one the best just because of a crazy old man in it that cracks me up.

Not to mention she falls out of trees a lot in this one.

Three to get Deadly–Janet Evanovich

 This time around Stephanie is on the hunt for a sweetheart old ice cream parlor/candy shop owner. (He was carrying a concealed weapon like most people in Stephanie’s neighbourhood and was dinged by a newbie cop.)

More Lula, more Joe Morelli, more explosions, and tons of dead drug dealers.

This girl is an accidental hit in the bounty hunter business and she just cracks me up.

There’s not much more I can say on this one, but just for the sidekicks alone, which include her hilarious and super old grandmother who goes to funerals like they are reunion parties, this series is awesome.

Two for the Dough–Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum again. Love her. Addicted to her. Still falling off things and getting her car blown up.

I can’t believe I haven’t heard of this series until Katherine Heigl was in a damn movie about it! (Haven’t seen the movie, just for the record.)

In this book we (thankfully) get to be friends with Lula, the hooker that has become like Stephanies sidekick. Lula is handsdown my favourite character.

She’s big, black, and dyes her hair every colour under the sun. Not to mention she drives a bitchin’ car and is super rough around the edges to the point where she is hysterically funny.

I’m Lula without the big, black or hooker part.

This one was just as good as the first. They just keep getting better!

One for the Money–Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum was in lingerie. Uhh…that sounded awkward. The lingerie buying business is what I meant to write.

Anyway, turns out girl gets laid off and has to start working for her cousin Vinnie as a bounty hunter.

Stephanie reminds me of my sister. Tall, big boobs, falls over a lot. Definitely my sister.

Not to mention she has a foul mouth and a penchant for getting into weird situations.

Needless to say, I found this book hilarious. So hilarious I bought the next six. Read it when you are in the need for a laugh and a good old fashion non-romance with Joe Morelli. (Hunky dirtbag cop-friend of hers. I love him.)

Fall on your Knees–Ann-Marie MacDonald

I’m currently sending 8 trillion volts of pure love towards Ann-Marie.

This is one of my favourite books and I can see how my friend believes that it’s a piece of his soul. It’s among my soul as well now. This is one of the most well-written books I’ve ever read. The story was disturbing and you can almost sense where it’s going, but it constantly throws curve balls.

I’m in the habit of when I find a quote I like I dog-ear the book. I know, I know, it’s a travesty to mar books. But normally it’s only one or two per book…

This book is absolutely destroyed. It’s the biggest inspiration for writers I’ve come across in a long time and the poor dear is dog-eared to Hell!

There’s no possibly way for me to even describe the storyline. It’s too good that I want everyone to read it and be surprised at where it’s going.

READ THIS BOOK. READ THIS BOOK. READ THIS BOOK.

Constant vigilance.