Work it Out: The Word “Diet’.

This year is the year I say ‘Goodbye’ to the word ‘Diet’. That word holds a lot more power than we think it does. What is a diet? A diet is a list of “Should’ and ‘Shouldn’t’. A diet is something to restrict yourself to. A diet is something you follow, PMS, and then everything is on fire and you don’t know how you ended up eating three bags of chips in a week, a jar of pickles, and a case of chocolate.

You black out and wake up in a stupor of “Oh shit. What did I do?”

And then I rip myself a new one, calling myself a failure, making myself feel like shit because I failed myself once again. It’s brutal. It’s a cycle I’m working on breaking.

At least that’s me. I tend to go on diets and think to myself “Well, I’ll just have ONE little bite” of the thing that diet says not to eat and then I’m down a rabbit hole looking like Gollum and swiping at anyone who tries to come near me.

So. This year I made a choice for my mental health (as well as my physical health) and decided I wasn’t going to diet anymore. Crash diets, juicing, cleanses, detoxes, any building that has the word “Herbal” in it is no longer for me. I don’t want to take “Herbals” anymore to help me lose weight faster. I don’t want to cut things from my life in order to lose weight.

I honestly, just want to stop thinking about losing weight in general.

I’ve added a lot of Body Inspirational women to my Instagram, I’ve gotten really into My Peak Challenge, I’ve started doing the grocery shopping in my house because then I’m in control of the goodies that come in. I’ve started cooking again.

I’ve taken a stand in a way. I’m in no way obese or a “health risk”. At least not according to how I feel in my own body recently. (Which thanks to doing MPC I feel a hell of a lot stronger. Yes. That was me patting myself on the back for getting my ass up.) I’m 5 foot 6, weigh 200 pounds (I’ve recently lost five. I expect more to get out of here because I’m currently menstruating and that usually means I’ve gained 5 pounds of pure water weight.) and have an addiction to coffee.

That coffee thing is really hard to beat when you work with kids, let me tell you. The 3 year old talks a mile a minute and it’s all I can do to keep up with his train of thought!


My point is: I’ve stopped dieting. And started planning. Which is it so fucking different from dieting let me tell you. I’m not starving, I’m not angry, I’m not looking for loopholes, sneaking fast food, or devouring carbs like a gremlin in the dark of the night.

‘Meal Plan’ sounds so much more positive than “Diet’. I mean, diet has the word ‘die’ in it. Come on.

But MEAL PLAN, dude, that’s a plan to eat meals. That sounds awesome! PLANNING TO EAT IS SO GREAT.

And some people will think that there’s barely a difference, because I’m still restricting certain foods. But I’m also trying to do intuitive eating, which is thinking about what I’m chomping on and how it makes me feel and my body feel. And let me tell you, pops are dead to me, certain candy is dead to me, I hate to say it, but potatoes are kind of dead to me (I’ll never give up on poutines though. NEVER.) and certain breads are goners too.

So that’s where I’m at this month with my working out and planning. It’s actually been really nice to be able to feel powerful again.

Do what you got to do for you, and you’ll only get stronger!

Keep moving forward!

Keep Moving Forward

I’m not feeling inspirational these days. I’m mad. I’m tired. And I just want to lay in my bed and watch new episodes of Doctor Who that aren’t even out yet.

Instead of sitting on my ass and watching stuff on Netflix I have somehow managed to pull myself up from my boot straps and started over. (What’s this? Time 2059 of starting over?) I have pissed and moaned to my friend that I would much rather lay on the ground eating cookies and watching something stupid than to have to put the work into getting myself fit. It’s just so much easier.

Which is the problem. It’s really easy for me to convince myself that I don’t want to eat healthy or work out. But somehow, I’ve managed to work out twice this week and I’m dead tired. And I’m sore as fuck.

But mostly, I’m mad at myself again for doing this. Again. My friend and I made a pact five years ago to lose weight together. We would be our support system for such things. Well. Here we both are again trying to get it together. Together we have worked our asses off, and then failed, worked our asses off, and then failed.

I would really like to stop this cycle. So here we are again, at the beginning and I hate having to lift my body parts because they are so heavy. But that’s the point, right? The point is so that I will have energy and a life, and maybe an added extra confidence somewhere down the line.

But starting from scratch AGAIN is the living worst.

Fuck exercise. Fuck eating right. I just want a goddamn poutine and a warm sweater and to watch Tangled.

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Skinny Bitch–Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

Holy mother, the last book I reviewed was Tommyknockers? I read that in November! Jesus. And now Skinny Bitch? I seriously need to update my book folder. This is madness I say! Madness!

Anyway, I liked this book. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I have a short attention span and that becomes a hell of a lot shorter when people try to tell me what to do, what to eat, that I should exercise, that I should get a “real” job, that I should stop being so mean, that I should stop being so nice, that I should blah blah blah blah blah. Leave me alone meddlers! Live your own sad existence and leave me to mine!

(Sidebar: In the future I plan on having a jeep, a tiny house on wheels and a dog named Carol, so who really has a good idea of what the future should hold for me? Oh I forgot to put a career in there. Damn it. Story of my life. Author! Boom! Careered…now if only I could make that a reality…)

Right. Skinny Bitch.

So because of my short attention span I only made it through half of Alicia Silverstones book on being a vegan and why it’s a good idea. Hey I stuck around long enough that I gave up cows milk entirely. That seriously made me sick reading that. There’s pus and blood in there?! EW! AND it hurts the cows?! Cows are my favourite! They are like really big fat dogs. Have you ever seen them run and jump?! OH MA GAWD!!!!

Okay. I’m getting really off topic today.

SO Skinny Bitch is right up my alley. It tells you things like how aspartame turns into formaldehyde in your system and keeps it real the whole book. It doesn’t pull any punches, it tells you you’re being a fatty and need to stop your fatty ways. And I really needed to hear it. Tough love mother fuckers!

If you are like me and need things pointed out to you in a way that is basically like someone punching you in the head, then definitely read this book. It was informative and sassy.

Please do not send me long comments about the following: diets, cows, Alicia Silverstone, becoming a vegan, or anything to do with my diet and morals. I don’t want/need long diatribes on any of these topics. Not to point fingers, but vegans are classic long winded speech makers.

Calm down. You can’t turn me. I like cheese and bacon. I let you live your life, let me live mine.

Constant  vealigance! Wordplay. Haha

Medium Raw–Anthony Bourdain

Whomp. Whomp.

    That’s pretty much the noise I would associate with this book. Which breaks my heart and busts my balls at the same time. I’m a huge fan of Chef Bourdain. I watch his show, I’ve read his other books and I’ve taken what he’s said to heart about what it means to be a good chef. Hell, I’ve even tried some of the stuff he’s said to do with recipes.

   I’m not a super fan where I would stalk and maim him, but if I met him I would definitely be starstruck. If I ever did meet him, in the back of my mind I would be thinking ‘Medium Raw was not my favourite.’

   Didn’t hate it, didn’t love it. It just seemed like he was bitching about the same things he always does. Jamie Oliver and Bobby Flay, for one thing. Tourists for another. And the fact that we are all drowning in franchises that don’t give a crap about how food is produced. He talked continually about traveling abroad and what torture it can be and how much better it is eating in Spain.  Not to mention how people of Spanish decent are usually the best cooks, even if they are making French cuisine.

   I’ve heard all this before. I’ve read all this before. The only thing that seems different is the new list of things he hates. (Which is ever growing.)

Again, like with The Nasty Bits, maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for his bitchiness. Usually, I dig it. But this just seemed repetitive of his older stuff and not up to par with what I expect from a famous writer and chef. He’s consistent though, it’s still good writing, I just wanted a different story.

    Constant vigilance.