Let’s Pretend This Never Happened–Jenny Lawson

My friend who normally suggests incredibly upsetting (cough cough World War 2) books to me suggested this. 

Now, this has taxidermy on the front so you can imagine my dismay and skepticism at what I was about to walk into. 

But blindly walk into it I did and I was surprised as fuck and happily proven wrong.

This book was HYSTERICAL. I read it so friggin fast and loved every minute of it. 

This lady knows how to get you to wet yourself laughing! 

I enjoyed her tales of taxidermy collecting, how she terrorizes her husband Victor, and the way she talks about mental health and well being.

She’s lovely, fantastic, and a great writer.

Constant vigilance! jenny

Pride and Pleasure–Sylvia Day

I love a good romance novel that 100% promises dirty sex scenes. 

I have a juvenile mind where I don’t find these scenes sexy: I find them absurd and a good gut laugh.

Like I laugh my ass off like they told a good joke. 

Man oh man. 

I’m going to die alone. 

Anyway, this is about an heiress (of course) who falls for a brick house of a man (of course) who is named Jasper (duh). 

Because obviously.

I actually really like Sylvia Days writing, and she spun a good yarn while still keeping with certain romance novels tropes but without making the tropes seem corny as hell. 

Not once did she mention anyone with an aquiline nose. Which now that I say that…what in the hell does that even mean???

Oh snap. I looked it up and it says “Like an eagle”. I had no idea! I thought it meant like perfect ski slope or something.

This. Changes. Everything.

Or does it? Probably not.

Constant vigilance! pride

You Deserve a Drink–Mamrie Hart

*Note: This was written early January 2018.*

After a dark and gloomy beginning to the year (reading Slaughterhouse Five) I figured it was time to start a book that was guaranteed lightheartedness. 

Mamrie is a well-known Youtuber who makes drinks on her channel (called You Deserve a Drink) that are fun and themed and sound delicious. 

This book isn’t just about drinks, although each chapter starts with a drink that goes with the theme of the chapter.

She makes me laugh and makes me want to infuse tea with liquor! 

This was a fun a read and I liked her stories. But given that she’s such a big personality in her Youtube channel, I expected more silliness, I liked that it wasn’t but I also wish that it had more big laughs? You know? 

Constant vigilance!

mamrie

The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo–Amy Schumer

Two for two on surprise book back to back. First Kris Jenner, and now Amy Schumer. 

So I originally intended to read this book and get it off my shelf because I kept seeing the cover and being like ‘UGH. Amy Schumer! Stop fucking staring at me.” 

But what I ended up with was a well written book about her life and I came to actually respect and life her as a person.

Who knew? 

I’ve never really liked her stage show, I don’t know why. I think sometimes I think it’s enough with the vagina jokes. (Guess I have to be in the mood for that.) 

I’m not a prude when it comes to hilarious and gross and out there jokes, sometimes she gets a really good laugh from me.

But I was thinking that I was about to read a book that read like her comedy sketches go: Over the top and trying too hard.

What I got was slap in the face with the reality of who she is. 

Which is that she’s not just her onstage persona. Whaaaat?! That happens?! She can be quiet and reserved? Who knew. (Sarcasm guys. I know that people aren’t always what they seem or portray to people on stage.) 

This book has ended with me feeling for Amy Schumer and hoping that she has a great life and career and can actually DO something about gun control.

She’s great. And I wasn’t expecting to like this book, but she got me.

She really got me. 

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Scrappy Little Nobody–Anna Kendrick

Why is she the most adorable person to ever adorable? 

Just a really funny, well written autobiography about the kicky little life of one of our most favourite Hollywood actresses. 

Her stories were cute, and I really appreciated how honest she was about what it feels like to be an actress in the limelight. Like how all of sudden (because of Twilight) she was thrown into the light and everyone thought she was this rich actress because she was given dresses to wear to awards shows and how surreal it is to be in that type of situation and then have to go home to your tiny apartment that you share with your roommate and your cheap Ikea furniture and have to give all the jewels and the dress back the next day.

I really enjoy her awkwardness and honesty.

And her incessant joking about how Chris Pine is stalking her. 

I don’t feel the need to write a really long review, she can tell you all about her life in this funny book! 

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The Rules According to JWowW–Jenni Farley

Guys…I know you know me in a sense. You know I read these types of books out of sheer curiosity and a sickness that I can only justify as “I need to know why this person thinks they can write a book and how on earth did it get published and who the hell reads this and takes this seriously and oh my god am I that person? No. No I’m not that person, I have a good head on my shoulders, I know this is pure nonsense. Everything will be fine. This is just a trashy summer book.”

Well fuck was I wrong.

I’ll admit it, as we all should: I judge books by their cover.

Just books, not people calm down.

Except…this books cover is a picture of JWowW dressed like a sexy teacher so maybe I was judging her a bit.

Except…that I kind of love everything she is about in real life.

Okay, now you’re just judging me. Ah well! She’s a no-nonsense mom who loves her body,  who can argue with that? (Especially since she’s definitely the type of person who would clock you. I’ve seen it. On tv. I watch Jersey Shore. OH SHUT UP OKAY.)

Anyway. This book was surprising! Because it wasn’t pure trash. It wasn’t like the dumb and painful Situations book. It wasn’t a trashy summer book written about two girls on the Jersey Shore like Snooki’s.

The cover leads you to believe it’ll be just about sex. You would think that she would give advice about like…boning and you’re done.

But in reality, she gave sound advice on how to treat people like people and with respect and how to behave in a relationship. And how NOT to talk to people like an asshole. It was really nice actually.

You would never get that given the cover, but I’m actually glad that I read this.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.

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I Still Shouldn’t Drink While I Read.

Or forget to post things for basically an entire year thus making it impossible for me to review books I read two summers ago.

But here we are.

What to say of these three books? Full Tilt, Full Speed, and Full Blast by Janet Evanovich and Charlotte Hughes.
These stories follow the people of Beaumont, North Carolina. There are twists and turns and fun and sexy men.

What’s not to like?

I always enjoy Janet’s books, but ultimately because they are so airy and easy, I forget them. I just remember this feeling of joy and laughter after they are done.

I definitely recommend them, they are always cute and have great characters in them.

I just forget them once they are done. Fantastic summer beachy books.

Constant vigilance!