Cujo–Stephen King

Okay look Stephen King: You just fucking stop it. 

Why do I fucking read these books? Why do I seek out this terror? This book was so fucking stressful. 

And I’m going to spoil things, so you are warned. I have to spoil things because I need to channel this energy of rage this book gave me into a posting because I CAN’T BE ALONE WITH THESE FEELS.

Let me first tell you what I thought this book was about: 

A psychotic dog that eats people. Thought it was possessed or something. 

Here’s what the book is actually about: 

A sweetheart of a dog that gets poisoned when he chases a rabbit down into a cave that is full of sick bats. Rabies type virus ensues. 

Sweetheart dog starts to feel sick. We get to see into his thoughts as well (thanks a lot for THAT Stephen King.). We get to see it take him. Which is so fucking heartbreaking. Moreso than if that was happening to a human because dogs are little rays of light in an otherwise dark and stormy world.

How dare you come after a dog Stephen King!!! 

I’m going to be cursing him until the day I die. 

Anyway. There are a few players in this book that circle each other (and I DO forget their names so I’ll just describe them.) : 

One: Hapless husband who goes on business trip. Gets calls from wife nightly for updates on life. 

Two: Menacing Mechanic, owner of Cujo, altogether unsavoury asshat.

Three: Mechanics wife and son, who leave for a vacation with her sister. Son is the true owner/friend of Cujo. Kid is a sensitive sweetheart, wife wants out of her life. 

Four: Neighbour and only friend of menacing mechanic. 

Five: The cops. More or less useless. 

Six (and most important.): Hapless Husbands wife and four year old son. Wife needs car fixed, is sent to mechanic by husband. Car breaks down there. 

And hell fucking breaks loose. 

Now here’s how things went: Dog got sick. Dog turns slowly but surely. He eats mechanics friend. Then Mechanic goes to visit his friend because they are supposed to go fishing or something because the wife and kid went on vacation. Mechanic gets eaten at some point. 

Hapless husband forgets to check in with wife and son and after DAYS finally notices she hasn’t been calling either and calls the cops. 

Mechanics wife and kid are having a grand old time, although the kid just KNOWS something is wrong with Cujo even from afar.

Cut to: The hapless families wife and son are packing up snacks and whatnot for a small drive to the mechanics out of town just in case the car breaks down on the side of the road before they can even get to the farmhouse. 

And this is stressful for me because at the time I was looking after my four year old cousin and I couldn’t even fathom how a mother wouldn’t do EVERYTHING in her power to save her fucking kid.

The heat rose to excruciating heights. Kid is dehydrated, dog keeps attacking car, but is getting more and more vicious by the hour. They are both dying. Everyone is dying. The mom knows there’s a phone in the house, knows the dog is in the garage in the cold. She tries once to run for the phone…but the dog gets her leg, then she gets stuck back in the car.

Eventually all the things collide: someone at the police station finally believed the dad that his family was missing and they sent a cop to go look around. Cop sees note that the wife left saying where she was going. (A note she wrote for no one by the way. She just “had a feeling”.) 

Cop gets eaten. 

Wife and kid still. stuck. in. the. fucking. car. The kid is delirious. Like straight up heat stroke, had seizure, etc. 

Eventually the cops notice that their other cop didn’t come back. 

And everything explodes.

Hapless dad comes back before the cops get there, he finds the wife who (in her delirium and idiocy) goes for a bat instead of the cops rifle/radio, and is now beating the dog to death. 

Cops swarm, wife thinks husband saved her (which was annoying), and guess the fuck what. 

THE KID FUCKING DIES ANYWAY.

After all that. I fucking threw the book. 

How dare that end in the death of that sweet little four year old.

Fucking Stephen King. A plague on both your houses.

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The Walking Dead Comp. 2–Robert Kirkman and co.

I’m a huge Walking Dead fan. I really love the show, so finally reading the comics was something I had been looking forward to for a long time. And I’m really glad that my sister decided to buy the compendiums/ask for them for Christmas so that I could save my own money and siphon off them.

That being said, a lot of shit goes down. I really like reading these, but it (obviously) gets confusing reading them and watching the show.

Things don’t necessarily happen to the character in the comics that they did to on the show, which is totally fine. I like being surprised!

I really loved this, but the quality of the drawings went downhill after Tony Moore left them. Which makes me really sad because they were amazing to begin with and now I’m having issues telling who is who and “Is that Glenn or is that Rick? Is that Laurie? Is…that Maggie? Wtf is happening.” I can determine which characters are doing what half the time.

Confusing, but great storyline. Stuff happens very fast. So fast it’s kind of shocking, but I get that they are graphic novels and that makes sense for them to be like Information: BAM BAM BAM.

Constant vigilance.

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The Short Stack.

Good morning everyone!

I’m clearing house of the tiny reviews. So here’s four to take a gander at.

Summer of My Amazing Luck—Miriam Toews

Literally only picked this up because I knew it was set in the summer. (Book challenge #14-A Book Set in the Summer [26BooksWithBringingUpBurns 2015.])

What a treat it was though! I love this writer, she’s really in tune with empathy over sympathy. It’s very interesting to read her books because they are about real humans and their struggles.

All about people living on welfare and their troubles, stories, and how they rise or fall.

Definitely interesting to pick up. In this you follow Lucy through how she got to the Have-A-Life welfare housing, how she makes friends, and then ends up on a road trip with her friend Lish to find a fire eater that knocked her up awhile ago.

Very cool take, I can’t gush enough about this writer, but I’ll stop for your sake.

Truly great.

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I Feel Bad About My Neck (And Other thoughts on being a woman)—Nora Efron

Okay. This also might seem like an odd choice for me to read but hear me out:

I was reading a lot of female authors and was like ‘Hey. This lady writes sweet movies and books and maybe she has some perspective as well on being a woman that would interest me like the last five!”

Well unless you are over 50, don’t bother with this.

I found it quite boring and useless. Which sounds awful since I do like her movies, but I didn’t gain anything from this or learn anything besides ‘I never want to get old’.

*Audience booing*

To be completely fair to her: I will read her other books in the future, I just happened to pick a dud for my age group. Her writing was good, I just didn’t connect to what she was going through and didn’t much care for her stories.

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(#16 A Book You Learned About Because of this Challenge….this might be a stretch I think, I was just trying to fill in holes. But I did learn about this because of the other books I was looking through for this challenge, so that has to count.)

The Pilot’s Wife—Anita Shreve

Someone suggested this to me when I lived in Vancouver and it’s been sitting around on my shelves ever since.

That’s how backed up my reading list is. I’m hitting living at home for two years already.

Jesus Christ I need to get my shit together.

Anyway.

This book is about a woman (obviously) who’s husband was a pilot.

Shocker. Haha.

Her husbands plane goes down and she has to deal with all that comes with it. Including their teenage daughter and her grief.

I really loved this book actually, it was beautifully written, not overwhelming with emotions and drama, and enough mystery to hold my attention.

Thank you to the random lady in Vancouver who suggested that I read Anita Shreve’s books. I’m excited to read more of her stuff in the future.

(#18 A book with a blue cover.)

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Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges—Jen Mann

This book jumped the line because I was in the mood for a holiday laugh. (I read this around Christmas) My cousins family gave this to me. (I’m their nanny and I get all the good stuff from them. Including baby snuggles!)

It was hysterical. And accurate as all hell.

Start to finish had me laughing. And nodding like ‘I feel ya girl!”.

Definitely worth it for a present to someone with a sense of humour around the holidays. Or for a treat for yourself because it was awesome.

Short and sweet and to the point. Just like this review.

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Bunnicula—Deborah and James Howe

Another present from a family member, my Auntie Jo (or as she calls herself Aunt Torage. Best word play of life.) I was presented with this for my birthday because I love bunnies, I love horror, and I love ridiculous novels written for children.

This was a good and spoooOOOoooky read.

Okay, it was all right. It IS for kids after all. But it was pretty cute and funny and I’m sure some kid somewhere is having nightmares about this rabbit.

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Happy Monday everyone! Constant vigilance!

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Carolina Isle–Jude Deveraux

After some in depth reading of a YA series, I need some serious adult time.

I was a moron to pick this book of all the Jude Deverauxs on my shelf.

The book itself sounds like it’s going to be fun, two cousins meet, they realize they look practically identical and decide to switch places in life since one is an overworked lady with a tyrant for a boss and the other is an underworked over life-styled princess with an overbearing mother.

What’s weird was that the promised switcheroo was bland and didn’t play out in even a quarter of the book.

This book would’ve been better if she ditched the romance and just made it into a murder mystery because it was creepier than a bunch of her others and probably would’ve played out better to an audience. (Not her general one since she writes romances.)

Anyway, not my favourite, probably the worst of her books that I’ve read, but hey, everyone writes terrible books every once in awhile, even the greats.

I’m looking at you Stephen King.

…I don’t know why I just called him out. Mea culpa. Mea culpa.

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Lord of Misrule: An Autobiography–Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee is the biggest badass on the block.

This guy has met so many awesome people while also being the ultimate of awesome people.

He’s played everyone from Dracula to Sherlock Holmes to Saruman to Count Dooku. He does voice work; makes metal rock albums, golf’s like nobodies business, and used to do his own stunts. He’s 92 for Christ sake, there’s no way he’s doing that now. But if anyone could, it’s him.

Hell, he wrote this book himself and has also been married to the same woman since the 60s.

He’s been in two wars, can fly a plane, and the list of amazing deeds just continues.

Errol Flynn broke his pinkie.

He was friends with Boris Karloff.

He was friends with Vincent Price.

His family was royalty. He’s met the Queen of England. He’s just-He’s just–He’s…

He’s so cool. And funnily enough, through all these bad ass deeds, friendships, and life changing experiences, he’s remained relatable.

Like if I met him, after I get over the initial fangirl bell ringing gaga whoopideewhoo, I would be able to actually hold a conversation with him and be like ‘Damn, Saruman is so cool.” And then I would take up golf just to hang out with him and then ask him to break MY pinky.

…I think if I ever met him the fangirling would never cease actually.

And to top it all off, his relationship stuff is hilariously virginal and I felt like he knows me and wrote this book for me.

I love him. I don’t know if I was getting that point across.

Read this book if you’re a big fan, read it even if you’re not because it’ll make you fall in love with him.

That is if you don’t mind reading all about how much a person loves golf. Because there’s a good deal of that in the book.

Constant vigilance.

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The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde–R.L. Stevenson

I’m going to start off by saying that I really did like this book. I’m a fan of Robert Louis Stevenson and really enjoy his writing style.

However, this was definitely not my favourite of his. I enjoyed reading the story about how this book came to be far more than the actual story. (He dreamt it and then spent days with pen to paper, then scrapped the entire thing and started again.)

We all know the premise of this book is that this man is two-sided, two-faced, one the kind and respectable Dr. Jekyll, the other the more sinister murderous Mr. Hyde. I really thought this book would keep my interest peaked longer than it did.

Guaranteed it was scary for the time, but it didn’t hold up to my warped brain and took awhile to get into.

I was pleased where it went and glad that I read it, but it didn’t really leave as big a mark as I thought it would.