But Enough About Me–Burt Reynolds

I think I’m psychic sometimes. 

Or I’m an evil witch who accidentally marks a person for death upon reading their autobiography. 

Poor sweet dirty bird Burt Reynolds. 

This book was so fun to read and incredibly interesting! 

I love a good autobiography these days and I really enjoyed how this sounds how he talked. His stories were cool, his life was amazing, and his heart was big as all get out. 

And man did he love Sally Field. 

And hate that photo shoot on the rug. He even wrote in the book how when he dies he hopes that no one remembers him JUST for that. 

Go figure on social media that’s the picture EVERYONE and their mother was putting up to commemorate him.

Rest in peace you hairy bastard. 

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Body Positive Power–Megan Jayne Crabbe

I took my sweet time reading this book. I’d say about six months just because I wanted those lessons she was teaching in her book to really sink in. 

Now, I can’t remember word for word what she said, but the feeling of this book really resonates with me even still and I find it has changed my line of thinking.

When I start to talk to myself in a way that I wouldn’t have originally thought of as self deprecating or harmful I catch myself now. 

Why am I bullying myself? You can’t hate yourself into a body you love. 

Which was a big point in her book. 

You can’t be cruel and think you’ll end up happy. You can’t bash yourself and think that’s a form of self love because it’ll get you to a place where you love the end result of all your “hard work”.

But I don’t want my hard work to be a result of me bashing myself or constantly pulling at my body angry that it can’t be different just because I’m willing it to be so.

This is MY body. No one else has this body, so it’s important that I treat her with respect. 

And fuck am I ever happier about that. 

When my brain goes “Ugh. New stretch marks. Way to go fat ass.” I stop that in its tracks and think “So what?”. 

“So what?” is my new key phrase to body positivity. 

So what if I’ve gained weight to the point of new stretch marks. I learned to love the last ones, these new ones can be loved just the same. 

So what if I’ve gained weight at all? That just shows I appreciate food and relaxation. I know I’m not actually a lazy person, I do things ALL the time. I work hard, so I deserve the relaxation and comfort that comes from eating and laying down. 

So what if I eat a bag of chips in one sitting? I was fucking hungry to the point of inhaling it. I obviously NEEDED food.

I’m learning to listen to my body more. Not intuitive eat as a way of dieting. I will no longer diet. I’m done with that. (Hell yeah!) I will listen to my body on what foods it agrees with and which foods it craves. (And sometimes that craving is a goddamn apple! Who knew!!!) 

I want to get back to a place where I move my body for the joy of moving my body. Like when you’re a kid and you run because you love that feeling of being free and the wind whipping through your hair. 

And so what if I get winded halfway down the driveway. I can be breathless for the joy of it! 

I don’t want to punish my body into a body worth having. I want to enjoy the body I have because it was worth having all along. 

All the shapes and sizes I have been get a colossal “So what?”. 

So what, that was Past Alli. Present Alli isn’t too concerned about what size of pant she is wearing.

So what, that was Past Alli. Present Alli doesn’t want to give anymore energy or wasteful thought tangents on where her body SHOULD be. Instead living in the body I have now and being grateful that I am who I am and no one else is like me. 

So what if someone else bashes their body? Not only will I not internalize it to the point of thinking “Does that person think I’m fat and hideous because they think THEY are fat and hideous?” I will stop THEM in their tracks and tell them to stop talking to my friend like that. 

This book is so fucking important for all communities. It’s not only about body positivity and how Megan got to where she is, it’s about facts and figures and LGBTQ etc things, it’s about able bodied people (which is everyone. We all have bodies that are able to do stuff.) and it’s about how we value self worth. 

It’s so important. 

And so what if I don’t look like the girls in the magazines? 

We’ve risen up so much the girls in the magazines have come out to say “Me either.” 

Fuck I love this book. 

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The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo–Amy Schumer

Two for two on surprise book back to back. First Kris Jenner, and now Amy Schumer. 

So I originally intended to read this book and get it off my shelf because I kept seeing the cover and being like ‘UGH. Amy Schumer! Stop fucking staring at me.” 

But what I ended up with was a well written book about her life and I came to actually respect and life her as a person.

Who knew? 

I’ve never really liked her stage show, I don’t know why. I think sometimes I think it’s enough with the vagina jokes. (Guess I have to be in the mood for that.) 

I’m not a prude when it comes to hilarious and gross and out there jokes, sometimes she gets a really good laugh from me.

But I was thinking that I was about to read a book that read like her comedy sketches go: Over the top and trying too hard.

What I got was slap in the face with the reality of who she is. 

Which is that she’s not just her onstage persona. Whaaaat?! That happens?! She can be quiet and reserved? Who knew. (Sarcasm guys. I know that people aren’t always what they seem or portray to people on stage.) 

This book has ended with me feeling for Amy Schumer and hoping that she has a great life and career and can actually DO something about gun control.

She’s great. And I wasn’t expecting to like this book, but she got me.

She really got me. 

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Happy 8 Year Anniversary!

Holy crap.

I just got a notification from WordPress congratulating me on 8 years of writing on this blog.

8 years I’ve spent writing about books I’ve loved or hated, personal stories of triumph or failure, love and loss, book hunting, Keep Moving Forwards, True Story Tuesdays, or To Say a Little Words.

8 years of my life.

An inconsistent 8 years of writing on here, but still! That’s bananas.

So thank you all who have stuck with me, who have appreciated the posts, who have reached out to tell me how hilarious I am. I have a small fanbase, but I still appreciate it and am so grateful.

Here’s to you all! For putting up with my nonsense, my wisdom, my lies about when I’ll be posting, my long stretches of going MIA, and the grappling I do with books on a daily basis.

Here’s to books! Without them I would’ve beheaded someone a long time ago.

Constant vigilance!

Summers Read Part 2

I’m backed up. Not…not in the bowel department. I don’t know why I feel like I needed to clarify that when you’ll see in a minute that I mean book reviews.

Either way. Here we are.

In The Woods–Tana French

This book was total trickery. 

In that I didn’t realize it was a series. I only read the first one, but now I need to read the rest to find out what the shit happened. 

This is about how kids were in the playing in the back woods in a Dublin suburb in 1984, and they only found one kid.

A parents worse nightmare. Two kids went missing and one was found covered in blood gripping a tree trunk and unable to remember what happened. 

20 years later the boy is a detective and he’s on the case of a 12 year old girl who was murdered in the same woods his friends went missing. 

He uncovers piece by piece what happened not just to the girl, but to his friends. 

Sort of. I remember being like ‘Wait WHAT.’ When it ended because it wasn’t finished and then I looked it up online and found out that it was part of a series. 

And then not committing to find the others and never solving the mystery. 

Not like me. 

But oh well. Someday i’ll finish that series because after rereading its synopsis I’m intrigued again! 

…Actually upon reflection that totally is like me. I stopped reading Game of Thrones three books in, I stopped reading Outlander after two books, I even stopped reading those Sweep books and had to return to them to finish them. 

My best friend is laughing at my previous statement of “Not like me.” haha. (She gets all the texts when I pick the series back up of “Hey…who’s dead and what happened???” 

Her memory is better then mine. 

Anywho: This book was interesting, maybe if I stumble upon the second book somewhere I’ll get back to it and solve that dang mystery!

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Weird Sisters–Eleanor Brown

This book was very enjoyable. Reminded me of me and my sisters. Only in that we are weird and so different from each other, and yet so similar. Really, if one of us didn’t have a sense of humour our family dynamics would be VERY different. 

Instead of making each other laugh, someone would’ve been stabbed a long time ago. 

Anyway, this book is about three sisters who find themselves back at home to help with their ailing mother. Their dad named them after three of Shakespeares leading ladies and only really speaks to them in verse. 

Which I would find infuriating, but also fun. I love Shakespeare. But I would’ve slapped my dad. 

Good book, well written, interesting story. Definitely read it. 

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I Know I Am, But What Are You?–Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee is (was, maybe?) the Most Senior Correspondent on the The Daily Show (In the Jon Stewart era) and is pretty damn funny.

This was a good summer book. Clever, well spoken, and had fun stories in there but not overwhelmingly political or heavy. But she also didn’t dumb anything down. It was lovely. 

I liked reading about her life and where she ended up. Despite the fact that people have always flashed her at weird intervals in her life. 

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Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm–Kate Douglas Wiggin

Grain of salt here: This is a children’s book. And I usually don’t like childrens books that are classics just because I find them quite boring and like nothing happens. (Generational gap, I suppose.)

This was no exception. It’s about a little girl who is lovely, but a bit of a show off. She is sent to a farm to live with her aunts and is constantly in trouble for being…well an extrovert.

Hurts my feminist heart to see a little girls life being snuffed out and stuck in a box. No worries though, everyone ends up dead and she gets an inheritance to make life better.

I just couldn’t get on board with this book. I was reading it to my little cousin as part of our nap time ritual (at the time) and it put us both to sleep.

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Work it Out: The Word “Diet’.

This year is the year I say ‘Goodbye’ to the word ‘Diet’. That word holds a lot more power than we think it does. What is a diet? A diet is a list of “Should’ and ‘Shouldn’t’. A diet is something to restrict yourself to. A diet is something you follow, PMS, and then everything is on fire and you don’t know how you ended up eating three bags of chips in a week, a jar of pickles, and a case of chocolate.

You black out and wake up in a stupor of “Oh shit. What did I do?”

And then I rip myself a new one, calling myself a failure, making myself feel like shit because I failed myself once again. It’s brutal. It’s a cycle I’m working on breaking.

At least that’s me. I tend to go on diets and think to myself “Well, I’ll just have ONE little bite” of the thing that diet says not to eat and then I’m down a rabbit hole looking like Gollum and swiping at anyone who tries to come near me.

So. This year I made a choice for my mental health (as well as my physical health) and decided I wasn’t going to diet anymore. Crash diets, juicing, cleanses, detoxes, any building that has the word “Herbal” in it is no longer for me. I don’t want to take “Herbals” anymore to help me lose weight faster. I don’t want to cut things from my life in order to lose weight.

I honestly, just want to stop thinking about losing weight in general.

I’ve added a lot of Body Inspirational women to my Instagram, I’ve gotten really into My Peak Challenge, I’ve started doing the grocery shopping in my house because then I’m in control of the goodies that come in. I’ve started cooking again.

I’ve taken a stand in a way. I’m in no way obese or a “health risk”. At least not according to how I feel in my own body recently. (Which thanks to doing MPC I feel a hell of a lot stronger. Yes. That was me patting myself on the back for getting my ass up.) I’m 5 foot 6, weigh 200 pounds (I’ve recently lost five. I expect more to get out of here because I’m currently menstruating and that usually means I’ve gained 5 pounds of pure water weight.) and have an addiction to coffee.

That coffee thing is really hard to beat when you work with kids, let me tell you. The 3 year old talks a mile a minute and it’s all I can do to keep up with his train of thought!

Anyway.

My point is: I’ve stopped dieting. And started planning. Which is it so fucking different from dieting let me tell you. I’m not starving, I’m not angry, I’m not looking for loopholes, sneaking fast food, or devouring carbs like a gremlin in the dark of the night.

‘Meal Plan’ sounds so much more positive than “Diet’. I mean, diet has the word ‘die’ in it. Come on.

But MEAL PLAN, dude, that’s a plan to eat meals. That sounds awesome! PLANNING TO EAT IS SO GREAT.

And some people will think that there’s barely a difference, because I’m still restricting certain foods. But I’m also trying to do intuitive eating, which is thinking about what I’m chomping on and how it makes me feel and my body feel. And let me tell you, pops are dead to me, certain candy is dead to me, I hate to say it, but potatoes are kind of dead to me (I’ll never give up on poutines though. NEVER.) and certain breads are goners too.

So that’s where I’m at this month with my working out and planning. It’s actually been really nice to be able to feel powerful again.

Do what you got to do for you, and you’ll only get stronger!

Keep moving forward!