Comedy, romance novels

Full House–Janet Evanovich & Charlotte Hughes

I need you to not judge me about these books.

Well, actually, no I don’t. I found them enjoyable and light and fun. Great summer books, shenanigan type plot, and romance thrown in.

My favourite kind of book!

So the start of this series is written about Billie Pearce, a single, divorced, mother of two, and a polo instructor Nicholas Kaharchek. Billie lets Nicks cousin DeeDee live with her while her kids are away for the summer, and all hell breaks loose.

It was funny and silly and just the kind of thing you need when you are day drinking at the cottage and warm in the sunshine and don’t want too heavy of a plot dragging you down.

That’s my favourite thing about Janet Evanovich books, they are clever while still being readable, and have adventure and thrills without being dragged down by clinical terms or police driven plots, and have romances that feel like that’s how they would actually happen, not the kind where they are running towards each other on a beach. (If that ever did happen you better believe that one of them trips and gets a face full of sand.)

Good old fashioned fun books.

janet

Book Hunting, Classic, Erotica, Fiction, Love Story

Big Girl Panties–Stephanie Evanovich

I picked this book up solely because her name is Stephanie Evanovich. I love Janet Evanovichs stuff and I don’t know why I thought this would be similar (it’s not) and I thought she was her daughter. (Turns out neice.)

 

Even so, without once again, reading the back flap, I read this book cover to cover and really enjoyed it. I love not knowing what I’m getting into! It makes reading more of an adventure and less of a decision making process.

 

This book was about widow named Holly who is trying to regain her life. After the death of her husband she gained a lot of weight using food as her biggest crutch. Then she meets Logan Montgomery (writers need to get away from the last name Montgomery, am I right?) on a plane and after his obvious disgust at her body being pushed into the seat next to him they start talking and he finds out she’s not just a mass, she’s a person. As a fitness trainer for famous athletes he’s in the best position to get her back into her body and out of her head.

Naturally, they fall in love. It was genuine, well written, and lovely to read.

Until: It got dirty. It got dirty so fast that I had to take a beat and think “Does this say anything about S and M on the dust jacket?” Then remembering that I hadn’t READ the dust jacket I proceeded to do so. Nope. It’s exactly what I described. Funny thing is, the couple that’s seen as the raunchy spank happy couple seemed the most real and in love to me.

Enter: (double entendre, see what I did there?) All the words one woman came up with to describe a vagina while simultaneously trying to make her audience puke in their mouths a little bit.

Here are a few she came up with (and the worst of the worst):

1)Moist mound.

2)Damp mound.

3)Lush swells (that was actually to describe boobs.)

4)Velvety rim. (I’m dead serious.)

5)Wet cavern.

6)Sweet creaminess that was her essence. (I’m about to puke again.)

and DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!! My personal favourite:

7)Luscious junction.

This book gave me a good laugh, so it was worth it to read the cringe worthy sex scenes.

Constant vigilance.

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Comedy, Mystery

Plum Lucky–Janet Evanovich

I love Grandma Mazur. And she sure loves robbing leprechauns.

Okay, so he wasn’t a real leprechaun, he was just a guy in green pants…

 OR WAS HE?!

 Nobody knows. On the other hand, she didn’t exactly rob him. It was more they just got into a tussle over a giant bag of money and she won and booked it.

 Either way, Stephanie has to help her grandmother. And Diesel who happens to be looking for the leprechaun. And the mobster who is threatening to off them all if he doesn’t get his money back.

 This book was pretty great, I love them. (Broken record, right?)

Comedy, Mystery

Plum Lovin’–Janet Evanovich

I forgot you guys yesterday! I’m so sorry! If it makes you feel any better, I was eating at a cute little french-ish cafe and had a sub-par sandwich. But the macarons made up for it. Anywho!

A Between-the-Numbers book with Stephanie Plum looking for a little love advice. Diesel makes an appearance, which I love! I love a man with a dirty sense of humour and a little mysticism about him.

   Where I love that Joe Morelli just does things like looks down her shirt and sighs and then leaves because he’s too busy, or where Ranger just kisses Stephanie so she can feel it in her toes, I love that Diesel just goofs around with her. Never does anything without her permission and is just a complete sweetheart.

 So sue me, I like big men with hearts of gold.

 Like that’s a goddamn crime!

 ….I don’t know why I’m yelling at you. Okay. So plot of this was really great, Steph’s bond evader is a love guru. A love guru who is pretty unhelpful.

 Good book! Read it for fun!

Comedy, Mystery

Smokin’ Seventeen–Janet Evanovich

Since the business was blown up the gang has been using Mooner’s RV as their main headquarters for the bonds agency.  Which causes some serious stress for everyone involved. Especially Connie.

The biggest problem? Dead bodies are showing up in shallow graves in the parking lot where they are rebuilding. Fingers are being pointed at Stephanie and her band of Merry Fools.

   There’s a dancing bear.

Just saying.

Read on sailors!

This also happened to be the book that I started reading before Sizzlin’ Sixteen because I had thought that I already read it and I was confused as to why the bond agency was burnt down, but then just assumed that I forgot about it since I’m prone to do that.

What a dummy.

Comedy, Mystery

Sizzlin’ Sixteen-Janet Evanovich

Vinnie has gambled away his life. What else could we expect from such a major league screw up?

   He’s lost his wife, his business gets torched, he gets kidnapped and Stephanie is set to find him.

Lucky for us, this book isn’t too serious. (Aren’t they all like that?)

Mooner is back and in what I think is the best thing to happen to these books, he’s setting up Hobbitcon in Trenton and it’s beyond hilarious what happens at the end.

Nerds unite! I love it!

   As always, funny, ridiculous in a not corny way, and makes me feel good. I love that these books are so easy to get through and I often use them as a palette cleanser after some particularly long and hard books.

Looking at you Diana Gabaldon.

I can’t stress enough to get into these. They are awesome.

Comedy, The Trash Bin

Foul Play–Janet Evanovich

Holy super bad book Batman. Reading the back cover I should’ve expected it. But being Janet I thought I was in for something less corny and more…well written, I suppose. Well, a better plot at the very least. This was something that I would’ve written in high school to entertain myself in the middle of math class. Easy, light, stupidly funny, and a ridiculous premise.

            It’s about a childrens show clown that gets fired and replaced by a dancing chicken. That’s the main character. I have no words. THEN, a frazzled mess that she is locks her keys in her car, wanders around aimlessly in a grocery store knocking things over and forgetting that she left her wallet in the locked car. This is where the “hero” enters. He follows around this mess of a woman and eventually gives her a ride home, a new job, and falls in love with her while they solve the murder of the chicken.

That’s right.

The chicken DIES and she’s a suspect. AND IT’S A BIG DEAL.

This book is so dumb that it took me like forty five minutes to read and I couldn’t stop laughing at just how cornball it was.

I’m going to say this and take it with a grain of salt: I want you to read this book.

That’s right. If you just need a break from books with amazing plots and heavy artillery writing, and too many characters that you forget who half of them are, then read this bizarrely hilarious book. I was texting my best friend while reading it and I just need others to read it so that we can all have a good laugh together.