Comedy, romance novels

Full House–Janet Evanovich & Charlotte Hughes

I need you to not judge me about these books.

Well, actually, no I don’t. I found them enjoyable and light and fun. Great summer books, shenanigan type plot, and romance thrown in.

My favourite kind of book!

So the start of this series is written about Billie Pearce, a single, divorced, mother of two, and a polo instructor Nicholas Kaharchek. Billie lets Nicks cousin DeeDee live with her while her kids are away for the summer, and all hell breaks loose.

It was funny and silly and just the kind of thing you need when you are day drinking at the cottage and warm in the sunshine and don’t want too heavy of a plot dragging you down.

That’s my favourite thing about Janet Evanovich books, they are clever while still being readable, and have adventure and thrills without being dragged down by clinical terms or police driven plots, and have romances that feel like that’s how they would actually happen, not the kind where they are running towards each other on a beach. (If that ever did happen you better believe that one of them trips and gets a face full of sand.)

Good old fashioned fun books.

janet

Fiction

Juliet, Naked–Nick Hornby

Music lovers listen up: this book is for you.

It was however, not for me.

It drags on in the beginning and then only got really good around the last 50 pages.

I want to like Nick Hornby’s stuff, but I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me. My sister had an unpleasant reading of one of his other books as well, and I don’t know if I’ll carry on with his books unless someone can suggest one that I’ll really REALLY like.

Anyway, this book was about a couple, Duncan and Annie, where Duncan is obsessed with a singer by the name of Tucker Crowe that just disappeared after a heated fight with his girlfriend in a public bathroom. 20 years ago.

Annie eventually begins to correspond with Tucker Crowe after she voices her opinion on a fan website that contradicts what all his “true” fans are saying about his new album ‘Juliet, Naked’ where it’s the stripped down version of the original album he made.

This was an okay book. Don’t get me wrong, I like music, but like Annie, I’m not IN that world or obsessive about it. Not like I am the world of cross stitch (which I’m well aware sounds incredibly insane.) . We all have our things and music, while amazing and soul-healing, isn’t something I’m GOTTA HAVE IT about when it comes to records or albums.

I just love it in the sense of what it makes me feel when it wanders into my life.

This book was difficult for me to focus on because of that.

Which is why I say: it’s for music lovers. You’ll be into it. Maybe.

I don’t know your life. Constant vigilance.

juliet

Biography, Thrift Store Saga

Through the Storm–Lynne Spears

You read that right. I read Britney Spears’ moms book.

The funny thing about that is: 1) I could care less about anything Lynne Spears has to say.
and 2) I found this book in a thrift store (surprise surprise) and found a ticket stub for a flight somewhere with a girls name on it from high school! And it turns out it was her book for real.

Tiny world.

Anyway, this book was the autobiographical musings of Lynne Spears and on Britney’s life and what exactly went down in 2007 when Brit Brit lost her shit shit.

It was actually really nice to read a book from her moms perspective and even though I’ll never know the truth of anything because I don’t actually know this family, it was nice to think that this was all the truth and that her mom was really trying to tell her side.

Overall: good beach book, semi-interesting excerpts from Britney’s life (if you’re a fan that is.), and Mama Spears doesn’t pull any punches. I wouldn’t recommend it outright, but I wouldn’t tell you NOT to read it if you were in the mood for something like it.

You know?

Constant vigilance.

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Work it Out

Work it Out: The Word “Diet’.

This year is the year I say ‘Goodbye’ to the word ‘Diet’. That word holds a lot more power than we think it does. What is a diet? A diet is a list of “Should’ and ‘Shouldn’t’. A diet is something to restrict yourself to. A diet is something you follow, PMS, and then everything is on fire and you don’t know how you ended up eating three bags of chips in a week, a jar of pickles, and a case of chocolate.

You black out and wake up in a stupor of “Oh shit. What did I do?”

And then I rip myself a new one, calling myself a failure, making myself feel like shit because I failed myself once again. It’s brutal. It’s a cycle I’m working on breaking.

At least that’s me. I tend to go on diets and think to myself “Well, I’ll just have ONE little bite” of the thing that diet says not to eat and then I’m down a rabbit hole looking like Gollum and swiping at anyone who tries to come near me.

So. This year I made a choice for my mental health (as well as my physical health) and decided I wasn’t going to diet anymore. Crash diets, juicing, cleanses, detoxes, any building that has the word “Herbal” in it is no longer for me. I don’t want to take “Herbals” anymore to help me lose weight faster. I don’t want to cut things from my life in order to lose weight.

I honestly, just want to stop thinking about losing weight in general.

I’ve added a lot of Body Inspirational women to my Instagram, I’ve gotten really into My Peak Challenge, I’ve started doing the grocery shopping in my house because then I’m in control of the goodies that come in. I’ve started cooking again.

I’ve taken a stand in a way. I’m in no way obese or a “health risk”. At least not according to how I feel in my own body recently. (Which thanks to doing MPC I feel a hell of a lot stronger. Yes. That was me patting myself on the back for getting my ass up.) I’m 5 foot 6, weigh 200 pounds (I’ve recently lost five. I expect more to get out of here because I’m currently menstruating and that usually means I’ve gained 5 pounds of pure water weight.) and have an addiction to coffee.

That coffee thing is really hard to beat when you work with kids, let me tell you. The 3 year old talks a mile a minute and it’s all I can do to keep up with his train of thought!

Anyway.

My point is: I’ve stopped dieting. And started planning. Which is it so fucking different from dieting let me tell you. I’m not starving, I’m not angry, I’m not looking for loopholes, sneaking fast food, or devouring carbs like a gremlin in the dark of the night.

‘Meal Plan’ sounds so much more positive than “Diet’. I mean, diet has the word ‘die’ in it. Come on.

But MEAL PLAN, dude, that’s a plan to eat meals. That sounds awesome! PLANNING TO EAT IS SO GREAT.

And some people will think that there’s barely a difference, because I’m still restricting certain foods. But I’m also trying to do intuitive eating, which is thinking about what I’m chomping on and how it makes me feel and my body feel. And let me tell you, pops are dead to me, certain candy is dead to me, I hate to say it, but potatoes are kind of dead to me (I’ll never give up on poutines though. NEVER.) and certain breads are goners too.

So that’s where I’m at this month with my working out and planning. It’s actually been really nice to be able to feel powerful again.

Do what you got to do for you, and you’ll only get stronger!

Keep moving forward!

Keep Moving Forward, Love Story, romance novels, True Story

Happy V-Day!

Okay ladies now let’s get in formation.

Cuz we slay.

Another year single, another year ready for a pringle. Am I right?

Look, there are only so many ways that I can try to make you feel better about being single with me. Over the years I have written about what not to do to your single friends, I’ve given you the option of dating fictional men instead of real men, I’ve sent you a Valentine with David Tennant, I’ve made you collages, I’ve made romantic book lists.

I’m one hell of a Valentine if you ask me. Because for the people I care about I also bake things and drink wine with them and have a Galentine’s day if it’s on a weekend.

Damn. I’m so romantic and I didn’t even notice.

This year though, I thought I would try something different.

Online dating.

JUST KIDDING THAT’S THE WORST. *laugh crying emoji*

Here’s what I would like to say to you this year:

Treat yo self.

That’s right. I’ve decided (since I’ve turned 30 and ain’t nobody putting a ring on this finger any time soon.) that I will date myself, so to speak. In that I now buy myself relatively expensive presents for my big events.

Because I’m going to die alone in a pile of dogs. #livingthedream

This year I have my eye on a sweet purse that has bananas on it. Because I’m an adult.

You know you’re awesome, you have to by now because I’ve been convincing you for years. You hustle like a champ and all the good things will come your way. And if they don’t, then they weren’t meant for you.

Love isn’t something that is to be forced, it will show up when it is meant to happen and the only thing to do in the meantime is live your life the way you want to because someday you’ll be knee deep in a relationship and these days are the ones you’ll look back on and think “Yeah. I set myself up to be who I want to be and that’s what got me here.”

Or you’ll think “Man. I miss when I could sit around with no pants on and I only had to forage for food for one person.” If you’re lucky, your future significant other will also like not wearing pants while watching TV and will be the kind of person who buys surprise pizzas instead of flowers.

Because flowers are the goddamn dumbest thing to bring a person. Stop bringing things home that can die, bring home things we can eat. (I know you feel me ladies!)

Romantic entanglements aren’t the only things that matter in life. You do you girl!

Man, sometimes I get really serious.

Probably because I hate when I chirp myself for being single so I get mad when I think others are doing it to themselves! Good thing I have some friends who are good with throwing encouragement at me like it’s a confetti parade and give me a hard slap of reality when I need it.

Happy Valentines Day you sons of bitches.

Use the search button to find other such inspirational posts from years of yore. It’s worth it. But I’m biased because I wrote them.

Fiction, Teen

Ballroom Blitz

I’ve been pretty busy these last few mon–years. Things have gotten out of control and I’m only JUST starting to patch things together to make them workable.

One of those things being writing “reviews”, which at this point they are more or less just blurbs on like “Read it if you feel like it” and “HOLY HELL THIS BOOK WAS AMAZING”. Either way, things have gotten pretty laissez-faire around here. Which was my whole life until I realized that I needed to pull myself together because I’m reviewing books from last summer and I have no clue what to write about them.

Which is why I labelled this segment: Ballroom Blitz.

Because I’m going to throw a bunch of tentatively labelled “reviews” at you.

Bunheads–Sophie Flack

‘Bunheads’ was on my summer reading list last year it was a nice beach book for sure.

Not intense in content, but still a decent story and plot. It’s about ballerinas, one in particular, and you follow their story of competitiveness, heartbreak, life, and their need to dance.

It was really well written (unlike these reviews), and I look forward to finding something else of hers in the future.

Definitely take this on a trip with you.

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The Invisible Ones–Stef Penney

This book was pretty decent given that I didn’t know what I was walking into. The plot centres around gypsies and their lifestyle, but only because one of them goes missing and a cop is trying to suss out what happened.

It was well written and I look forward to reading some of the authors others books.

I liked reading about gypsies, and I enjoyed the characters and the plot twists.

Definitely a good mystery for anyone looking for one.

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The Night We Said Yes–Lauren Gibaldi 

This book was sent in one of my OwlCrate boxes, I was interested in reading it since it was all about how these people spent a night (you guessed it) saying ‘Yes’ to everything.

It was a silly story and definitely more for teens than even Young Adults. I’m neither, but still, it should’ve had a little more juice to it. It barely had any meat on its bones, and it was the first book from OwlCrate that I was really really disappointed in.

Handed it off to head to a thrift store. Hopefully some tween will enjoy it more than I did.

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Next week will focus solely on Roald Dahl’s works.

Constant vigilance!

 

Work it Out

Work It Out

Good morning!

Last month whizzed by and now here I am on the first of February thinking about what my new goals will be for the month. Because part of my New Year Resolution is to make new goals every month.

January goals went pretty well! I kicked my Tim Hortons habit! (Bye bye French Vanillas! *sobs*) I started a new workout regime to get to my newest goal: Fit into my Maid of Honour dress. I’ve been eating better, and better still, not getting on the scale three times a day to see if the salad I just ate made me lose ten pounds magically.

Now, since today is the beginning of a fresh month I’ve decided that I will weigh myself once a month now instead of every day to watch my progress.

Turns out: That was stupid of me.

I’ve been feeling really great in my body, I’ve been having less stomach problems, I’ve got more energy, feeling really great, feeling like I don’t really NEED the homemade cappuccinos anymore (even if they are only 90 calories). Just all around kicking ass!

Until I stepped on the scale. I haven’t lost any weight. At all. Which really bums me out because I SWEAR I was thinning out around my middle. I just had a mini flip out because WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS FOR IF I’M NOT LOSING WEIGHT WILL I FIT INTO MY DRESS WILL I EVER GET THE BODY I DREAM ABOUT HOW COME NO ONE LOVES ME IS IT BECAUSE I’M THIS GIANT PIECE OF —-

Whoa Nelly. Look, progress reports are important when you are trying to hit a goal. But to get on the scale and start berating myself after an entire month of happy happy joy joy was really surprising. I thought that I would be like “Ah well, better luck next month!” get off the scale and go about my day. But instead I was thrown back into an old habit and worse, an old way of thinking.

So my goals for this month are: Be kinder. (Yes, that’s the same as last month and should always be a goal.) Change my way of thinking of my body. Treat myself better. No scale until March 1st. Doing something nice for someone. Learn to say ‘No’ to things. (That’s a big one, I’m not what you would call well off financially and I keep saying ‘Yes’ to things I shouldn’t.) Stand up for myself at least once this month. And as ever: Practice piano.

That one is actually proving to be the hardest to get to.

Anyway, if you are wondering what my work out regime is currently, you can find it here:

MyPeakChallenge

I’m finding it to be so unbelievably doable, especially for anyone with a sedentary job or is new to working out. I also like that there is no “30 Day to a New You!” tag on it or anything like that. It’s a year long program that’s suppose to help you reach your own goals.

And it’s run by hot Scottish guys, so there’s that. I’m talking Sam Heughan from ‘Outlander’ is part of it. And it’s so nice to not be yelled at while working out, even from a video. Like they are laughing sometimes. Which makes me laugh! I love that!

Anyway, follow me on Instagram if you want to watch my stories on this program unfold.

It’s mostly me laying on a mat sweating my balls off praying to Beyonce to help me.

Keep moving forward!