Review Dump

Hey there Sports Fans!

So I realize that I’ve been M.I.A. constantly. It’s just who I am now.

I’m so far behind that most of these are from LAST SUMMER. What. On. Earth. So I’m  going to just dump a handful of short reviews on you.

The Bookstore—Deborah Meyler 

This book didn’t get a fair shake. I read it after Simon Vs. The Homosapiens Agenda and could NOT get into it after SUCH a good book. 

Maybe if I read it after a lacklustre book I would’ve liked it more?

It’s about a young woman working in a bookstore who gets dumped just as she was about to tell her boyfriend that she is pregnant. 

It was an okay book. 

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Dumb Witness—Agatha Christie 

‘Dumb Witness’ is about an old spinster who falls down the stairs and nearly croaks after she appears to slip on her dogs ball. 

Talk about my future, am I right? 

She is trying to solve who is trying to off her for her money. 

As always with Agatha Christie, a good whodunit! 

Sometimes when I read her books I’m like OOOOKKKAAAAY I GET IT. JUST TELL ME WHO DID IT. 

But this one held my attention and I liked the ending. 

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The Bluest Eyes—Toni Morrison 

I hadn’t read a Toni Morrison book before this. I was told to read “Beloved’ because it was AMAZING. 

And somehow I got it into my brain that it was a sequel to another book that I didn’t have and didn’t read it and ended up reading The Bluest Eyes. 

Which I’m glad I did! 

I love her style of writing, I loved the character of Pecola, and I just wanted everything to be okay for her in the end. 

It makes me sad to read about people wishing away their features or wishing they had other features to make them more beautiful. 

I want to protect all the kids in the world from the world and what it thinks beauty is.

When I reality, we are ALL beautiful in our own individual ways. 

And I think Toni Morrison did SUCH a beautiful job with this narrative and I really enjoyed reading about lives like her characters who are so different from what I grew up with and what I even sometimes know today. 

It’s a book that’s good for learning things about the world and what’s what. 

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The Screwtape Letters—C.S. Lewis

My entire life I thought of C.S. Lewis as the guy who wrote Narnia and kids books and that was that. 

I’m really glad I got to know more of his bibliography as an adult because, here’s something I bet you didn’t see coming: 

He didn’t just write kids books. 

WHAT. 

I know. 

The Screwtape Letters is about two devils writing each other letters. 

It was interesting and cool to read letters where things clearly happened OUTSIDE of the letters that were barely mentioned. 

It was like reading real letters between two people and I liked that. 

It made me really think about the devil on my shoulder. 

And how little by little the devil can take us down, starting with something so small.

Interesting read. 

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed—Alan Alda

I was going to give this book away before reading it. 

Eventually I did, to my dad, but I read it first.

This book surprised me. I found it kind of boring at first, but as his story went on I got more invested in him. 

Not just as an actor, but as a human being. It was really cool to see where he came from, how his relationships with parents were, and it was so full of sage advice. 

I ended up really appreciating him. 

I’m glad I didn’t shelve this book any longer or put it in the “Never gonna finish reading that” pile where I was determined it would end up in the beginning.

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Sliding Into Home—Kendra Wilkinson

Where to start with this book? 

It was…exactly what you thought it was going to be. 

Bubbly, pink, and just okay. 

Kendra was a Playboy bunny who was recruited very young and spills the beans on things like feuds in the Playmate House, and talks about her sex life with Hugh Hefner. 

Which to me (and her actually) sounds pretty gross because it was like a revolving door. 

She was sweet, honest, and had only really nice to things to say about Hugh. 

Which. *shrug*

I don’t suggest this book to be honest because it was a fluff book that in the long term of life: doesn’t matter. 

Brutal, but really, what was I expecting? 

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Simon Vs. The Homosapiens Agenda–Becky Albertalli

Thiiiiiiiiis boooooooooooook. Myyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeaaaaaaart. 

Simon is a teenager coming into his own, trying to sort out how to come out to his family and friends, and in general living the life of a teenager.

I love this book so much. I hugged it when it was over. 

My sisters all agreed that it ended rather abruptly for our taste. WE NEEDED MORE.

Beautifully written, lovely story, a mystery as to who he was falling in love with through email, and just all around greaaaaat book. 

Everyone should read this book. EVERYONE. 

I can’t wait to read the next one! 

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The Time of My Life–Cecelia Ahern

I always trust that when I pick up a Cecelia Ahern novel that I’m going to like it. There’s just so much magic in her stories that I really love them all.

I also trust that I’ll cry like a little bitch and be devastated for days. 

Exhibit A: P.S. I Love You. 

I really like what she did with this story, it was quite fun.

Lucy finds out she has an appointment with her life. And her life is a physical human manifestation that she actually gets to MEET and talk to and stuff gets sorted out. 

He’s a very bedraggled person at first.

Which had me thinking, what would MY life look like if I were to meet her?

I decided this moment in time where Hermione is struggling to function in potions class in their fifth year.

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Constantly being like “What the fuck am I doing? What is going on? Getting overwhelmed.” Hair is a mess. Attitude needs an adjustment, and I’m just doing too many things ALL the time.

I feel for Hermione. But she’s a badass bitch. And so am I.

That took a turn.

ANYWAY.

Very enjoyable from start to finish, great summer book. OR snuggly winter read under some warm blankets.

Constant vigilance!

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But Enough About Me–Burt Reynolds

I think I’m psychic sometimes. 

Or I’m an evil witch who accidentally marks a person for death upon reading their autobiography. 

Poor sweet dirty bird Burt Reynolds. 

This book was so fun to read and incredibly interesting! 

I love a good autobiography these days and I really enjoyed how this sounds how he talked. His stories were cool, his life was amazing, and his heart was big as all get out. 

And man did he love Sally Field. 

And hate that photo shoot on the rug. He even wrote in the book how when he dies he hopes that no one remembers him JUST for that. 

Go figure on social media that’s the picture EVERYONE and their mother was putting up to commemorate him.

Rest in peace you hairy bastard. 

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Slaughterhouse-Five–Kurt Vonnegut

I’m notorious for not liking classics at this point, yes? 

This one also joins the 3-star club. 

I’m also notorious for just blindly walking into a book instead of reading the dust jacket. 

Let me tell you what I thought this book was about.

Based off the title alone I thought this was about five people who survived some sort of grisly event in a slaughterhouse. My mind immediately thought: Holocaust. Because this just LOOKS like a book my friend would suggest and he always suggests Holocaust books to me because he likes to devastate my soul at least once a year. 

All I remember from this book is that I get a twitch from the sentence “So it goes.” now. 

What is this book actually about? 

The Holocaust. And the Dresden bombings. And so, so much more. Like alien abductions. 

The timeline goes back and forth and up and down and the main character Billy has PTSD and he gets married and has kids and travels back in time and yes. That’s the book. 

I read this back in January 2018 because I wanted to start the year off with a classic. I didn’t fully believe this was going to be about something so dreary. I’m always getting tricked into reading about the Holocaust. 

Even by me.

Go figure I start the year off with an event I hate reading in books because I’ve visited the Dachau concentration camp and my soul wants to throw up every time I think about it. 

And the books title is because it’s about POWs being held in a slaughterhouse…labeled ‘Slaughterhouse Five’. 

So I wasn’t totally off. 

Constant vigilance.

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Will Grayson/Will Grayson–John Green & David Levithan

I have this problem with writing my reviews since…well since I started this blog because I like to read books en masse. When I’m on a roll I’m on a roll and want to keep jumping stories like a time traveler with A.D.D. 

Gimme a T.A.R.D.I.S. and call me The Doctor. 

So sometimes this thing happens where I read all the books and don’t write all the reviews…for years. 

It’s a terrible habit. Yet here we are again. 

Now, I love John Green. Most of his books I’ve read have at least four stars. Five if he made me cry like a little bitch. 

This one has the mysterious number ‘three’ in the star section. 

What does that MEAN Past Alli?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! 

I remember liking the way that this was written because the writers were each in charge of a Will Grayson, so I really liked that collaboration. They should do more.

This book is about two Will Graysons who meet by chance and their story. I remember the friend called Tiny who was way into making a musical because he was utterly fabulous. 

That’s all I’ve got today. 

Constant vigilance.

 

Tranny–Laura Jane Grace

It is essential that everyone reads this book. 

If you have transgender friends and want to know more about their struggle of identity: read this book.

If you don’t know anyone who is trans but want to know more about that side of the universe: read this book.

If you like autobiographies: Read this book.

If you like music: Read this book.

If you like Against Me! : Read this book.

If you don’t know who the hell Against Me! is then, you got it: Read this book. 

If you are human and want to human better: Read this book. 

I literally just want to Oprah the hell out of people and go around handing this out. 

Because honest to God: This book is so well written, so poignant for our time, and so touching and honest and brutal, and watching the journey Laura Jane Grace has taken is so raw and beautiful and *mindblown emoji*. 

Now, I’ve never fully listened to Against Me! (at the time and I listened throughout the book as the music was suggested or mentioned by the author and now I am a fan), my friend (who has been a fan for awhile) read this book and it spoke so hard to his soul that if he was a violent man he would’ve thrown it at me and told me to read it. 

Instead he forked it over after adamantly stressing how amazing this book is and then whispered “Goooooo reeeeeeead.” in my ear. 

Okay, he didn’t do that last part. Well, not in my ear anyway, I am a violent person and would’ve punched him for being creepy. 

Anyway. 

I cannot imagine the life and struggle and guilt and relief and stress and secrecy and then finally openness it takes to be a transgender person. They go through so fucking much that I,  as a CIS woman, will never have to go through or fully understand or be able to gage on any sort of yard stick. 

But I can take my white privilege and my CIS privilege and quite frankly, my Canadian privilege, and do better about stepping into someone else’s shoes. I can take the time and see what’s up with other genders and beyond.

I can check in on my fellow humans. 

Because that’s all we all are. A bunch of meat sacks running around trying to figure shit out. 

Laura Jane Grace (and I will continue to use her full name here because she fucking EARNED it.) is a beautiful writer, musician, and human. This book is now a part of my heart and I need it to be a part of others hearts too. 

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Constant vigilance!