Pride and Pleasure–Sylvia Day

I love a good romance novel that 100% promises dirty sex scenes. 

I have a juvenile mind where I don’t find these scenes sexy: I find them absurd and a good gut laugh.

Like I laugh my ass off like they told a good joke. 

Man oh man. 

I’m going to die alone. 

Anyway, this is about an heiress (of course) who falls for a brick house of a man (of course) who is named Jasper (duh). 

Because obviously.

I actually really like Sylvia Days writing, and she spun a good yarn while still keeping with certain romance novels tropes but without making the tropes seem corny as hell. 

Not once did she mention anyone with an aquiline nose. Which now that I say that…what in the hell does that even mean???

Oh snap. I looked it up and it says “Like an eagle”. I had no idea! I thought it meant like perfect ski slope or something.

This. Changes. Everything.

Or does it? Probably not.

Constant vigilance! pride

Bared to You–Sylvia Day

Nerdy nerdy dirty birdies!

This book is fiiiiiiiilthy! It’s dirty! It’s nasty! It’s too dirty to clean its act up.

Yeah. I just Christina Aguilera circa 2002’d you.

Anyway, for all my dirty birds out there who are looking for something that’s actually literate while being sexy at the same time, this is the book for you! Cost me 50 cents and I don’t even mind that the lady at the thrift store rung me through and looked at the cover.

This book was well written and had well developed characters, so much so that you were actually interested in what happened to them and were rooting for their love story and at the same time were fanning yourself while they violently humped everywhere. Okay, they weren’t violently humping. Not like (earmuffs if you are sick of hearing this book title like I am) Fifty Shades of Grey where there were subs and doms and hitting and spanking and being tied up and gagged and all manners of sexy times BUT the actual story was lost and the characters were wangs. (Haha…wangs. Erotica. I’m a child. Apologies.)

Characters: Gideon Cross, President/Founder/CEO or something of Crossfire something or other. (Give me a break, it’s been like seven books since I read this one.)

And leading lady: Eva…something. Jeez, I need a brain doctor. Neurologist. Yikes.

Anywho…these two meet, sparks, he tells her he wants to hump her, and instead of being like WHOA HOTTY WITH THE BODY! She tells him he’s a creep and to get the ever loving hell away from her.

   Eventually he sees reason and calms down the explicit language and woos her. These characters are actually funny and seem real. Even though they’ve been through traumas in their lives you can actually relate to them and you are hoping they get better and love better and care about what happens to them. Which is what I was really missing in Fifty Shades of Plague.

Now THAT would be a cool book.

I’m rambling. If you want to get hot and bothered without the whips and chains and now Rihanna song stuck in your head, read this book. Where Fifty Shades of *pukes down front* was barely tolerable OR readable, this is.